Tears of our Ruins

Talking

ELLIOT

I nervously bounce my leg. This has been a shit day and it isn't even noon yet. Pulling an all-nighter plus all the heavy emotions has me drained. I don't know how to feel. I hated seeing Cora so upset. I hated listening to Bobby yell at her. I agree with him though. I can't believe she would fucking do this. She knows how I feel about Lindsey and yet she went behind my back. Why did she still keep it to herself after what Lindsey did? She almost fucking got shot and she still didn't turn to me. What would Lindsey know to blackmail her? Gotta be her nudes. I know they shared mental health stories so she probably told her about them. Shit. Is she going to release them now? Nudes of Cora would blow up because she's a McKenzie. Throw in CoCo and they would be viral in less than an hour. The thought makes me sick. I take a huge breath in a weak attempt to calm down.

It hurts that she didn't come to me for help. It hurts that she lied to me. It hurts that she kept something so big from me yet again. Fuck. Why does she keep doing this? I feel like we just took a huge step backwards in our relationship and I don't know how to handle it. She keeps giving me reasons not to trust her and that hurts more than anything.

"Hey." She looks exhausted too as she walks into the living room. Her eyes are red and puffy. Her makeup is smudged. I ache to hold her and my body almost moves that way out of instinct. I hold myself back though. She lied to me so she hurt me too. "Elliot," she sighs. "Are you going to forgive me too or is this going to break us?" Her voice cracks as more tears run down her face. She's clearly barely hanging on.

I quickly close the distance between us and cup her face, making her look at me. "I have so many feelings that I'm confused about right now. I love you though and that's not changing just because of this. It's just..." I hesitate. I don't know how to say this to her. "You hurt our relationship. You lied to me. You should have turned to me but you didn't. Instead you lied and pushed me away. I feel like I've said this to you a million times lately, but we swore honesty. I can't trust you anymore and that's... painful."

"Elliot, please." She reaches up and rubs my cheek. "I'm sorry. Please let me explain why I did it. Please."

"Yeah. I want to know everything. I need to know everything." She looks so scared and I get that too. Seeing what this did to those she loves has to be hard on her. I'm sure she needs me to be her support now, but how can I be there now when she didn't let me be her support from the beginning? I don't like how scared she looks. I may be confused but I meant what I said to her. I love her too much for this to break us. I run my finger over her bottom lip and pull her mouth to mine. I kiss her sweetly, hoping this is the comfort and reassurance she needs. I don't want her to feel like it's all of us against her.

I hear a deep voice clear behind me and my stomach sinks. This isn't what we need right now. "We're going to knock that shit off right now," Bobby says. Fuck. I don't like the anger I hear in his voice.

"Sorry, sir." I turn around to address him but I see amusement dancing in his eyes. I cock my head as I study him, trying to decide if he's pissed or ok with me kissing his precious Cora.

He chuckles as he pats my back. I glance at Cora and her mouth is hanging open in shock. We watch him walk into the kitchen, fill up two glasses of water, and walk back towards us. "Carry on," he chuckles. Cora and I continue to stand here and stare at his retreating form, even after he disappears from view.

"Who the fuck was that and where did your dad go?"

Cora busts out laughing and my heart relaxes at the sound. I love her laugh. It's the most beautiful sound in the world. "I have no idea," she giggles. "Does this mean I can make out with you whenever I want now?"