Tears of our Ruins

Juxtaposition

CORA

Ava's already shooting the sunset as I ride my bicycle to meet up with her. The fiery colors blurring on the horizon is gorgeous against the rolling green hills. I love Ireland. It's such a breath of fresh air here. I'm thankful my parents let me come. I know they can't force me to do anything anymore, but I'm still surprised they agreed so easily. If they would have said no, I wouldn't have fought them on it. I hate that they're so scared I'll disappear again, but why wouldn't they be? I've given them no reason to trust me. I felt like I was slowly suffocating being trapped at home though. I need an adventure. I need this; an Ireland sunset and the smell of the sea. Truthfully though, I'm not ready to face life yet. Traveling with Ava is my way of avoiding everything.

I hear Ava's laugh as I drop my bike on the ground. "Pink hair?" I had just dyed my hair before coming out here. It's why I didn't leave with her. I wasn't finished yet. Before I left, I had mentioned it to Lottie and she let me dye hers to show me how.

"Yeah. I think I'm going through an identity crisis now. Who am I? Am I Cora? Am I Alyssa? Am I someone completely different?" I'm feeling unsettled so my hair is unsettled too. Plus, I'm hoping people won't recognize me like this. In a way, I'm still hiding.

"Don't be weird. It suits you, CORA! Your name is CORA!" I giggle as I roll my eyes at her. It is true though. I just feel a little lost. I was Alyssa for so long, missing my old life. Now I have my old life back, but it doesn't feel right. I don't know how to be Cora again.

I sit down on the crumbling wall, making sure I'm not in Ava's way and stare out at the ocean. "Raise your chin just a bit."

"Huh?" I turn and look at Ava, who is pointing her camera at me.

"Dammit. No. Look out to sea again, but tilt your chin up slightly."

"Ok." I do what she says. "Why?"

"This is gorgeous, Cora." She runs towards me and shows me the small picture on her camera's viewer screen. Wow. It is pretty. "It's just... your pink hair just seems so out of place in this natural landscape. The juxtaposition of this..." I laugh at her excitement. "We should do more!"

"What are you going on about now?"

"It'll be fun. We're going to Athens next. I'll plan some kind of fun photoshoot to do with you there." She's just oozing excitement and you can see those wheels turning in her brain.

"There is no money in this for you. You shoot landscapes and monuments. What's the purpose of shooting me?"

"I'm bored and this will allow me to flex my creativity. It'll be fun. Come on!"

"Whatever," I say as I shake my head.

"You'll see. This is going to be awesome. I'm finished here. Let's go to the pub for dinner."

"Perfect. I'm starving."

CORA

"You look gorgeous!" Ava squeals.

"I'm not sure what the hell is going on." I'm staring at myself in the mirror. I look like a model getting ready to do a high fashion avant-garde photoshoot. I guess that's what I'm doing, though I'm no model. Ava has clearly taken this thing way too far. Dad's helping too. I don't know why he's just giving us all this money without asking questions. It's dad though, so I really shouldn't be that surprised. He probably feels like he needs to keep me happy so dropping a shit ton of money is his way to do it. Ava and I agreed to keep it a secret so I have no idea what dad thinks we're doing with the money.

My hair is dyed a really deep red. It's similar to the color I had in New York. It's also the exact same shade of red as the gown I'll put on. My curls are wild and plumped up for extra volume. My makeup is thick with dark, smokey eyes. It's borderline a mess, but Ava swears it's all going to tie together once I have the dress on and we get to the Parthenon.

When we pull up to the Parthenon, my jaw drops. This place is gorgeous. I've never been here before. Giddy excitement courses through my body and I find myself smiling. Maybe this is going to be a lot of fun after all.

"Alright. I need to talk to that nerdy guy over there again. He's the representative to make sure we don't go or touch places we're not suppose to." I watch as she walks over to him. It's easy for Ava to get these special permits for shooting here since she's such a well known photographer. She's never quite done anything like this before though.

Ava helps me into my full, sparkling, red ball gown. It's huge and such a heavy dress. It goes off my shoulders and has a very deep v that shows too much cleavage. The back is a corset and it unnaturally cinches my waist. The whole affect is very dramatic. I can't believe this is me. Ava shrieks as she takes me in. "Too perfect! Let's go! I can't wait to get started!"

Ava begins by photographing the Parthenon by itself. She told me it gives her a sense of the lighting and the feelings of the pictures. Plus, she needs these for her own work. She then puts me in different spots around the Parthenon. My nerves soon go away, even with the representative constantly bossing us around. I'm having so much fun that I'm disappointed when it's over. Who would have thought that modeling could be so fun?

Later that night, we're lounging on our balcony, eating takeout for dinner. Ava finally pulls the pictures up on her laptop. I stare in shock as she edits them. "That can't really be me," I say with shocked wonder.

"These are amazing," Ava gushes. "Look at us. Best photographer ever with the best model ever." She bumps against my shoulder.

I laugh at her. "Don't toot your own horn too much," I joke. "These really are amazing. I thought you were crazy when you explained this to me. I didn't get your vision at all." The glamour of the dress, combined with the wildness of my hair is just gorgeous next to the blue skies and the ancient ruins. "I'm obsessed. I love these."

"Just wait until you see what I'm planning next!"

"So we're really doing this?"

"Traveling the world and doing these shoots? Damn right we are." I laugh again but I think she's less crazy this time. I'm really excited. If this shoot is any indicator of how the others will be, this is going to be beyond amazing. I was looking for a distraction from my life and I found it. This is exactly what I'm needing.

Parthenon