Mia Potter was the other Potter. Looking almost identical to her mother, she was a force to be reckoned with. But there was only one person who could reckon with her, and his name was Draco Malfoy.
In which the youngest Potter twin finds herself fa...
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"Let me introduce you to your new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher."
Mia was forced to sit next to Draco as Lockhart walked down the stairs into their DADA classroom.
"Me," he grinned to the whole class as he looked at the rather large portrait of himself which was painting portrait of himself. "Gilderoy Lockhart, Order of Merlin, Third Class honorary member of the Dark Force Defence League, and five times winner of Witch Weekly's Most-Charming-Smile Award. But I don't talk about that. I didn't get rid of the Bandon Banshee by smiling at him."
He waited for them to laugh. A few people smiled weakly.
"I see you've all bought a complete set of my books, well done. I thought we'd start today with a little quiz. Nothing to worry about, just to check how well you've read them, how much you've taken in. . . ."
When he had handed out the test papers he returned to the front of the class and said, "You have thirty minutes. Start now!"
Mia looked down at her paper and read:
1. What is Gilderoy Lockhart's favourite colour?
2. What is Gilderoy Lockhart's secret ambition?
3. What, in your opinion, is Gilderoy Lockhart's greatest achievement to date?
On and on it went, over three sides of paper, right down to:
54. When is Gilderoy Lockhart's birthday, and what would his ideal gift be?
Mia and Draco exchanged looks before they looked back at the paper.
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Half an hour later, Lockhart collected the papers and rifled through them in front of the class. "Tut, tut, hardly any of you remembered that my favourite colour is lilac."
"Makes sense," Draco muttered to Mia who snorted then quickly covered her mouth with her hands.
"I say so in Year with the Yeti. And a few of you need to read Wanderings with Werewolves more carefully. I clearly state in chapter twelve that my ideal birthday gift would be harmony between all magic and non-magic peoples. . . ."
"Liar," Mia muttered a the corners of Draco's mouth twitched up.
". . . .though I wouldn't say no to a large bottle of Ogdeds Old Firewhisky!"
He gave them another roguish wink. Mia was now staring at Lockhart with an expression of disbelief on her face; Seamus Finnigan and Dean Thomas, who were sitting in front, were shaking with silent laughter. Hermione, on the other hand, was listening to Lockhart with rapt attention and gave a start when he mentioned her name.
". . . .but Miss. Hermione Granger knew my secret ambition is to rid the world of evil and market my own range of hair-care potions, good girl! In fact. . . ." he flipped her paper over, ". . . . full marks! Where is Miss Hermione Granger?"
Mia and Ron exchanged looks from across the classroom as Hermione raised a trembling hand.
"Excellent!" beamed Lockhart. "Quite excellent! Take ten points for Gryffindor! And so, to business. . . ."
He bent down behind his desk and lifted a large, covered cage onto it.
"Now, be warned," he said, "it is my job to arm you against the foulest creatures known to wizard-kind. You may find yourselves facing your worst fears in this room."
Lockhart placed a hand on the cover. Dean and Seamus had stopped laughing now. Neville was cowering in his front row seat.
"Know only that no harm can befall you whilst I am here. I must ask you not to scream. It might provoke them!"
As the whole class held its breath, Lockhart whipped off the cover.
Mia couldn't help it. She let out a snort of laughter that even Lockhart couldn't mistake for a scream of terror.
"What is is, Miss. Potter?'
"Are you serious?" she laughed, "they're Cornish pixies! They're about as dangerous as a bloody unicorn!"
The pixies were electric blue and about eight inches high, with pointed faces and voices so shrill it was like listening to a lot of budgies arguing. The moment the cover had been removed, they had started jabbering and rocketing around, rattling the bars and making bizarre faces at the people nearest them.
"Don't be so sure!" said Lockhart, waggling a finger annoyingly at Mia. "Devilish tricky little blighters they can be! Not to worry, your lover beside you will protect you!"
Both Mia and Draco looked like they had been asked to run around naked with Professor Snape.
"I'm sorry what?" they both asked at the same time with identical horrified looks on their faces as everyone in the classroom stared at them, just as confused as they were.
"I'd rather kill Harry then call this bleached twat my fucking lover!" Mia said as Draco looked at her offended, then nodded in agreement.
"Right, then," Lockhart said loudly as he ignored Mia and Draco's protests. "Let's see what you make of them!"
And he opened the cage.
It was pandemonium.
The pixies shot in every direction like rockets. Two of them seized Neville by the ears and lifted him into the air. Several shot straight through the window, showering the back row with broken glass. The rest proceeded to wreck the classroom more effectively than a rampaging rhino.
They grabbed ink bottles and sprayed the class with them, shredded books and papers, tore pictures from the walls, up-ended the waste basket, grabbed bags and books and threw them out of the smashed window. Within minutes, half the class was sheltering under desks and Neville was swinging from the iron chandelier in the ceiling.
"Come on now, round them up. They're only pixies," Lockhart called as Mia ran to her brother, Ron and Hermione.
"Shut the fuck up!" Mia yelled.
Lockhart ignored Mia, rolled up his sleeves, brandished his wand, and bellowed, "Peskipiksi Pesternomi!"
It had absolutely no effect.
One of the pixies seized his wand and threw it out of the window, too. Lockhart gulped and dived under his own desk, narrowly avoiding being squashed by Neville, who fell a second later as the chandelier gave way. The bell rang and there was a mad rush toward the exit. In the relative calm that followed, Lockhart straightened up, caught sight of Mia, Harry, Ron, and Hermione, who were almost at the door, and said, "Well, I'll ask you four to just nip the rest of them back into their cage." He swept past them and shut the door quickly behind him.
"I swear I'll kill him one day," Mia snapped, swatting a pixie with a little ball of red energy as it pulled on her hair.
"Can you believe him?" roared Ron as one of the remaining pixies bit him painfully on the ear.
"Hermione, do a fucking spell now!" Mia yelled as a pixie bit her hand.
"Immobulus!" Hermione yelled, pointing her wand upwards as all the pixies became frozen and began floating around the room.
"I hate Lockhart," Mia mumbled as Ron nodded in agreement.
