Deepest Desire

16- A Glimpse Of His Abyss

~ Sebastian ~

There was pitch darkness everywhere, it could have dragged one to the pits of labyrinth with no return but not me. I was laying there, staring into nothing but this darkness felt homely.

It felt warm.

As if I was made for it, I belong there. So, what if there are constant screams echoing in my ear? So what if I am unable to hear anything but those scream?

That's why I don't show mercy because I can't hear them in the first place. How can I when I don't understand what they say? Yet, I love this place.

It was home.

A drop of blood fell on my forehead and began to drag all the way down to the corner of my lips. Bringing my hand closer, I smeared that blood over my lips.

It felt euphoric.

Opening my eyes slowly, I was back to my room, staring at the ceiling, my arms spread out, feeling light-headed. My eyes felt heavy as if they were seeking something.

Exhaling in my blurry state, I titled my head and saw Eileen sleeping next to me, holding my shirt while curled like a ball.

I stared at her for a long time, sleeping peacefully in my presence which was rare, her heavy breaths tangling around my neck. I was barely in senses and felt impotent to part my eyes from her slumbering body.

"You're so exquisite, you know?" I whispered and was about to touch her lips but the blood only I can see on my fingers would taint her lips too so I stopped.

I chose to be this way. No one forced me, no incident led me here. I wanted to be a demon. I wanted to be ruthless. That is my choice. Yes... right?

But, then why, amid those screams I am hearing another voice?

I am who I am and nothing in this world can change my perception.

Shifting my hand, I traced it over her lips but the blood isn't transferring to her lips. I wanted it to.

At my action, she woke up, gasping, she tried to move back but I refrained her, not parting my keen orbs from her frightened ones.

"Sebastian..." Don't call my name. Just, don't.

Turning her grip on my shirt rigid, she gulped hard, shivering when I traced my finger immaculately over her lips.

But, when it had no effect, I pulled my hand away.

"Why is it not staining you?" I asked huskily, breathlessly, eyes half opened but my eyes refused to look away.

I pressed my finger harder on her lips, she blinked in confusion but I wanted to smear that over her lips too but it's not leaving me.

"Why is it not reaching you?" I asked, plopping on my elbow to turn to her fully, not leaving my finger from her parting lips, breathing hurriedly.

"What's not reaching me?" She dared to ask in a frightened resonance, not breaking the intense eye contact, noticing the drowsiness in my eyes but I was solely focused on her lips.

"The blood." I whispered temptingly, turning to show her my finger.

"Can you see you? The blood is dripping down." I almost sounded desperate. Showing her my finger. Narrowing her eyes, a glint of courage was blessed upon her.

Parting her hand slowly from my chest, I noticed her trembling fingertip touching against mine.

"See?" I asked, leaning dangerously closer to her face.