Deepest Desire

22- Mistake

"I shouldn't have done it. I truly shouldn't have."

Locked in the room, I was looking out of the window, deep in pondering. Countless questions were roaming wild in my mind and I was unsure how to tackle them.

But, choosing silence, I remained silent, staring at the bright sky itching my eyes yet I loved to stare into the vibrant garden.

But, before this beauty could submerge me in itself, the door opened. Closing my eyes, the faint smile on my lips faded at a certain man's presence.

"Get up, we are leaving." His stone-cold resonance came, snapping his finger to drag me out from my thoughts to provide him my attention.

"Where?" I asked, glancing over my shoulder.

"Bordeaux. I have already told you, I want to show you Miroir d'eau, you will love it." He said, slightly excited about it but I was unsure. His excitement scares me because what excites him is my fright.

"How do you know I will love it?" I asked, averting my gaze but he gave my shoulder a rough pat which made me stumble forward.

'Damn, this man has a strength of steel.' I thought when his one playful push shook my whole body, "Because I know what you love. Now, come." He called.

Alarmed in his presence, I didn't know how to react and went along. Maintaining my distance fairly, I kept hugging my sides, going along.

We were on the train, I was looking out, not wanting to talk. His presence had sealed my voice but he loved ruining my peace.

"Eileen..." He called, resting his elbow on the table in between, staring intently at me with his chin on his palm.

"Hmm." Humming, I timidly looked at him. Is it just me or is he acting differently here? Is this a part of his 'reward' system?

"Which is stronger? Betrayal or love?" He asked, taking me by utter surprise by his question. Normally people make comparisons between love and hate but his perspective is different.

"Why are you asking this?" I asked worriedly, holding my dress, looking down at my laps. Unwillingly recalling the time when he betrayed my heart.

"Alphonse's childhood love betrayed him and he wanted to punish her but clearly he was lying to save her from me. He wants to punish her for her betrayal too yet he is trying to save her too." But he wasn't talking about my heart but Alphonse's. Does my betrayal matter? Do my feelings hold any worth in his heartlessness?

Curiosity gleamed in his heart, arching a brow. He genuinely wants to know about betrayal from a person he betrayed. Is he trying to learn emotions?

"What emotion is that?" He asked direly, features becoming stoic, curling his lips downwards. Seemingly it was infuriating him. Swallowing the lump in my throat, I didn't know how to provide a satisfactory reply.

Inhaling deeply, I forced my eyes to connect with his, gathering my courage to respond, "Those who are unaware of emotions would never understand, Sebastian. You can never truly hate the person you love-"

Before I could continue, he asked with more hardened features, "Do you love me then?"

My heart skipped a beat, my eyes widened for a second. My body became numb, allowing it to sink into my heart. Immobilized for a second. He noticed my tension but I turned my head away and added quickly.

"-Unless something provokes. Conditions apply. Takes a lot of courage to break one's heart." I whispered hurriedly, trying to discard his perplexity and amusement.