Mystic Resonance

Dance Our Problems Away

(a few days before Halloween; a day after Dark Merrill aftermath)

I lay on my bed hugging my pillow against my chest. Questions whirled in my mind. I was doubting myself. Alex called me to make sure I'd be there with April and my brothers at Merrill's place on Halloween. I didn't want to see Merrill. Don't get me wrong. I don't hate him. I'm not angry at him, either. Disappointed, sure, I guess. I'm just...

I'm confused.

I'm very confused.

Are my affections real or am I projecting someone else? Was meeting Merrill planned? Was it fate? Did I follow the same path as my past self? Was everything planned? I don't know what's real...

Am I still me?

I don't know.

I buried my face deeper into my pillow. If I didn't say yes, Alex threatened to search the entire sewer to find my home, tie me up, and drag me all the way to the mansion. I told them I'll relay the message and be there (excluding the threatening part). I was looking forward to Halloween at first but now I just want to stay in bed. Maybe listen to Dad talk about how great Lou Jitsu was.

I heard a tap on the wall at my room's entrance. I looked up to see Raph giving me a greeting smile. "Hey, little man, mind if I come in?" my big brother asked.

"Sure", I said with my unusual lack of energy. I laid back down clutching my pillow more. I felt my bed shift on the far end. Raph took a seat. "So... excited for Halloween?" bless the big guy for trying to lift my spirits.

"Eh", I answered with unenthused motivation.

Raph sighed. "Leo. I know you're upset..."

"I'm not upset!" I flinched at my sudden anger. I didn't mean to take it out on Raph. I wanted to be alone. Instead of apologizing, I curled myself up. He went quiet.

"Do you... want to... talk about it?" he asked after a few seconds of silence. I wanted to ignore him. I wanted to NOT talk about what's bothering me.

But the words flew out of my mouth without stopping me. "Talk about what? How Merrill kept a secret or secrets depended on how many more he kept from me. How there's a deeper meaning to our connection which by the way he didn't bother asking me for permission like my opinions don't matter. Oh, and the icing on the supreme pizza cake, where a ghost man told him were soulmates and not just that we have past lives who fell in love! Where do you want me to start?" wow... I had a lot on my chest.

"I'm no Doctor Feelings, but I do know friends don't have to share everything, including secrets. Okay, maybe Merrill should've talked to you about revealing that hidden info, but knowing Goth Boy he probably had a good reason. We wanted to save it for the right opportunity. I think you should just to him."

I sat up looking my big brother in the eyes. "Raph, out of everyone, you're the last person who wants me to date Merrill... scratch that, Dad would be the last person to say it's okay to date my best friend with dark powers."

Raph lifted his finger and pointed at my face. "Nope, nope, nope. Let's not get ahead of ourselves. You're too young to date. I, and everyone else, can't stand the crack between you two. I'm slowly starting to see why you like Goth Boy. HOWEVER! He has a long way to go to get Raph's stamp of approval."

I blinked. "...so... you don't want me to date him...?"

Raph blinked, too, until he shrilled. "Ah! This wasn't what I wanted to say! Look. Do you like him or hate him?"

I hugged my pillow. "Of course, I don't hate him!"

"Duh!" I could hear the eye roll of his statement. "You wouldn't hate him if you kissed him in front of us." I buried my face in my pillow feeling my face remembering how I broke the spell. "Makes me wonder what's holding you back."