02.14.19 - A Hollow

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A Hollow
02.14.19

I began noticing the little things. The murmurs. The mocking look. The random eye contact with a group. Their laughs.

They hate me now.

I didn't bother looking for reasons. I just accepted it since it wasn't new to me.

Gano'n talaga. People grow tired of people. People will hate people. It's in our nature.

It's simple. If nobody likes you anymore, leave. Huwag mong ipagsiksikan ang sarili mo.

Hence, I left my previous school. And now, I planned to leave this current one also.

Leaving has always been easy for me since I grew up detached emotionally. I was the opposite of sentimental. Hindi ako naaattach sa tao, lalo na sa bagay o lugar.

Madali akong makabitaw sa emosyon. Hindi ako mapagkimkim at mapagtanim ng sama ng loob. Kaya kaya kong maging kalmado sa kahit anong sitwasyon.

In short, I could rule over my emotions. I could get back on track way easily.

So I couldn't understand why I have been feeling the same emotion for days now.

I had always been alone and fine with it.

But this was the first time I felt . . . empty.

* * *

July 22, 2023

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