Captured in His Eyes (The Art of Life #1: Art Version) [COMPLETED]

07.19.19 - Off My Chest

Off My Chest
07.19.19

Tahimik kaming umupo sa bench garden. Walang ibang tao dahil kanina pa ang uwian. Na-late lang kami dahil sa meeting.

"Ah, sorry . . ." Kiel regretted crying in front of me.

I felt even more bad. Mas lalong bumigat ang dibdib ko.

"U-Uuwi ka na ba?" he asked.

I tried my very best and composed myself. Nag-angat ako ng tingin sa kaniya. "Bakit ka umiyak?"

I wanted to fully understand.

He sighed. "Kasi pakiramdam ko palagi akong may kasalanan sa 'yo. Palagi kang galit sa akin, ever since . . . kahit wala akong ginagawa . . . Gusto kong maintindihan . . . Hindi ko maintindihan . . ."

Ever since . . .

Right. I have had this attitude on him ever since. Kahit ang totoo, wala naman talaga siyang ginagawa.

"Bakit ayaw mo na akong kapartner sa club? Hindi naman kita pipilitin. Hindi ko lang maintindihan. Bakit sa akin ka lang galit . . . Bakit si Harvin, kinakausap mo nang maayos . . . Bakit sinasamaan mo ako ng tingin . . . Bakit . . . Kaibigan ba ang tingin mo sa akin . . ."

Napatitig ako sa kaniya.

The little things. He would notice it. I wasn't aware that they would affect him this much. That they really made him question himself.

He was too good at taking it all in I didn't realize they weren't actually little things.

I made him cry. And it was because of my actions and my words. It was because of me.

Ang sakit. Ang sakit palang tanggapin na ikaw talaga ang problema. Doble ang sakit kapag sa tao pang walang ibang ginawa kundi pagpasensyahan ka.

All this time, I had been crossing the line already. I took advantage of his kindness and understanding heart.

And what's my excuse? Why did I treat him differently? Because I like him? Who else treats someone they like the way I treated Kiel?

I don't know anymore.

"I like you," I admitted.

Hindi ito ang pinlano ko pero pakiramdam ko ito ang tamang panahon para makawala sa nararamdaman.

The root cause of everything was my feelings for him. Toxicity ang nireresulta ng pagkagusto ko sa kaniya.

Nafufrustrate ako at naiinis dahil gusto ko siya. Hindi ako makapagfocus dahil gusto ko siya. Nadadamay siya sa kawalan ko ng kontrol sa emosyon. I didn't know how to handle it.

It wasn't good for both of us. I really needed to escape from it.

"I like you, Kiel." Tinapangan ko ang boses ko.

The book was right. Parang may parte sa akin ang nakawala sa pagkakagapos matapos kong sabihin iyon.

Hopefully, after I hear his rejection, I can fully escape.

Awang ang mga labi niya, hindi makapaniwala.

I was sure he had heard this from several girls several times already. He had his spiel for this. I just needed to hear it.

"Joke ba 'to?" He shifted from his seat.

Umiling ako.

He looked skeptical.

"I like you. The reason why I'm annoyed at you is because I like you," I said trying to make a point.

His head tilted to the side. "Huh?"