Off The Ice | NHL Imagines

I'm A Boy

Luke Hughes
1162 words
Not requested

A/N: Skye, if you're reading this, please don't. This is about a personal feeling/thought that I've been having for a while now. I felt the need to write about what I want to happen in hopes it'll come true. The insta username is not mine and the photo is not me (I wish) and yes, my name is Addison.

Looking in the mirror doesn't feel right anymore. Walking around with people knowing me as "Luke's girlfriend" makes me... uncomfortable. Everything changed that day... a day I don't know if I love or hate.

(FLASHBACK)

Addison scrolled through tiktok. Edits of hockey, movies, books even, came through her feed. She wasn't surprised about them, she's an editor too, it's only fair that what she posts makes up her for you page.

Then she got the notification.

(disclosed mutuals name) tagged you in a video!

She clicked it. She watched it too many times to count. The words ringing in her head.

"I understood that I'm not a normal girl. I mean, that I'm not.... I'm a boy."

I'm a boy. I'm a boy. I'm a boy.

I can't be a boy.

She didn't know where that thought came from. She didn't feel like a boy... right? Her hair was short. It used to be shorter. She started wearing jewelry because it made her feel girly. She loved wearing makeup and feeling pretty. But... being called handsome.

She was never called handsome, but as she thought about it... it felt good. She didn't know why, she didn't know who she could tell. She liked being referred to as a boy.

Luke's boyfriend.

She couldn't let him know because how would he react? His girlfriend is having an interal crisis about being known as a boy and maybe he wouldn't support her. He'd leave and never want anything to do with her. He'd tell his family, his friends, not knowing he was the only one she wanted to know about this.

He walked through the door as if he heard her thoughts. Her phone screen was black, but yet it looked like she was watching something.

That stupid edit.

"You okay?" Luke asked with a smile. Oh, how he loved her. How he loved him...

"I'm okay. Just thinking." Addison smiled. Luke saw right through it. It was fake.

"Thinking about what?" He asked as he sat down next to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder. She took in a deep breath, preparing herself to speak, but she didn't.

"Nothing important." She responded. Luke gave her a look and she broke eye contact with him. She looked down in her lap, at her phone, she didn't turn in on incase Luke would see it.

"If it's not important, can you tell me?" Luke asked. Addison didn't know what to say. Instead, she warned him.

"Don't leave me after I tell you... okay?" She whispered the last word. Luke nodded, his eyebrows furrowing together in confusion.

"I was thinking about... about being known as a boy rather than a girl." Silence. He was about to yell at her, wasn't he?

"Is this a serious thought? Like you want people to refer to you as a boy?" Luke whispered.

"I don't know." Addison whispered. Tears pricked at her eyes and soon enough started rolling down her face, his face. Luke pulled her into his chest and held her as she cried.