ODDS OF LOVE: Season Nine

Episode 73

Tuesday December 10 , 2024

" Why does he get the right to date ! , " Luci bellowed in a highly dramatic fashion as she gathered with her family around the kitchen table. She poked out her bottom lip and folded her arms defiantly across her flat chest. Her heavily made up ( her uncles were discreetly ignoring that ) brown eyes were narrowed as they settled upon Theodore who wisely chose to concentrate on his scrambled eggs and bacon rather then embark upon the making of World War Three And A Half Luci Moore style. Sol was also wisely sitting this one out as he was debating silently whether to ask smarty pants Alan for help studying for the dreaded math exam. " Is it because he is a cisgender boy , Uncle D , Uncle Spencer ? Why do I have to wait till I'm sixteen ! I hope it's not about gender and sex because  because that would really be very very very sexist. " 

DuBuis shook his head at his niece. " Gender has nothing to do with your not dating yet , Luci. Sex ..... maybe.  Theodore is fourteen. In a few years he'll be driving a car. I'm pretty sure he can be trusted with dates. Right , Genius ? "

Spencer was busy breaking yet again his own " No cell phones at the table " rule because he was reading and taking mental notes on an article his very adept sexual relations therapist had advised him to study. It was all about interesting and diverse lovemaking positions for people in wheelchairs or with any type of mobility issues.  His blue eyes behind his glasses glowed with rapid interest as he considered a couple moves. This one looked promising , he thought to himself. " Ummm ," he stammered once he realized that his husband had just spoken to him and was apparently awaiting an answer. " Of course. Yes. Definitely. Theodore should not be allowed to drive at fourteen. None of them should actually. "

DuBuis snapped tersely , " Spencer ! Are you even listening to me ? What are you reading now ? "

As he tried to peek over at whatever had his husband so enraptured Spencer's nimble fingers swiped on his phone screen to close the article before DuBuis could see it. After all he didn't want to spoil DuBuis' Christmas gift , he mused with a knowing grin at him. DuBuis looked at him with growing curiosity and a little suspicion. 

Luci smirked at her uncles. " Fine. It's settled. Theodore can't drive or date at fourteen. "

Theodore widened his eyes greatly. " No fair ! I have a date ! This Friday ! "

" With who ? , " Sol , Luci and DuBuis all exclaimed with surprise as Spencer discreetly pulled the article back up again. 

Theodore turned bright red. He was wishing he had not flushed the other pills now because he was experiencing just a little bit of anxiety this morning. Maybe he should not have mentioned the possibility of himself dating. " Well. It's. A. boy. "

Sol grinned. " Yeah. I didn't really think it was a girl. "

DuBuis hushed them all and focused on the most important information to him. " What's this boy's name ? And have we met him ? "

Theodore glanced over at Luci and then quickly looked away. " Well. Yeah. He's been around here before. Luci knows him. So does Sol. It's .... It's Alan Kendall. " 

Luci let out a bloodcurdling scream that would have made her a master at horror movies. " NO !!!!!! You did not steal my WHOLE BOYFRIEND ! " 

Sol looked at Luci and then Theodore and then back at Luci. " You really can't have a boyfriend until you are sixteen. Right , Doc D ? " 

" Oh shut up , Solomon , " Luci snapped as she stood up from the table , pointing a finger at Theodore. " Theodore Rochester , you are a very disloyal friend and I will never forgive this. This is WAR ! "

Then she proceeded to stomp from the room , determined to devote an entire episode of her YouTube channel Luci's World solely to the immense betrayal of Theo-Dore. 

DuBuis muttered , " I just can not wait until she is officially a teenager. I think I owe my mother an apology. "

Spencer said with a distracted air , " I purchased your mother a very becoming for her elderly years swimsuit for the pool and beach in Florida. After all she said she was quite enjoying the pool at her adult retirement community. It has a lovely skirt to it. I got one for Glory too. " 

DuBuis rolled his dark eyes. " What you get for your father ? "

Spencer looked confused. " Which one ? I'm not buying the senator anything because I don't know the man or particularly like him for his part in the whole Rebecca situation. He's an awful senator anyway. Very biased. Now Andrew ; I got him a nice tie. And cufflinks. " And then he lifted his suddenly troubled eyes up from his phone. " And I am having lunch with him today at Richard and Nigel's. I need to find out how long Glory is going to be banging pots and pans at the restaurant. And why he insists on befriending that awful Swan woman. Nigel is wonderful but his family is a little..... tacky. "

Sol nodded. " I don't like Mary. She's like someone out of that old Purge movie. Or Children of the Corn. " 

DuBuis agreed , " Village of the Damned too. Or whatever it was called. "

Theodore said in a perplexed way , " The little brother won ten dollars from me when he taught us poker that night. I am pretty sure his deck of cards were not completely legitimate. I can't believe he's only ten. You know he wanted to play strip poker ? "

Spencer looked up in shock. " Strip what ? "

DuBuis shook his head. " That you choose to hear. "