ODDS OF LOVE: Season Nine

Episode 110

" It's all my fault," Faith said as she sat on the bed beside Andrew who was doing what he did best : listening.  " It's all my damn fault. All of it. "

Andrew placed a supportive hand on her knee and patted it. He said gently," What is your fault ? "

Faith checked her phone for texts. Her lieutenant actually texted with condolences and to tell her to take off as much time as she needed. Her partner Nita texted to say that she was working this case personally with her old partner Wally Williams and it would be solved. Her mother texted that she and her friend were at the airport in Florida and preparing to come to Maryland. She even had texts from Melinda's brother Manuel saying that he would be taking care of the funeral arrangements and that she could come if she wanted to. She wanted to laugh. Melinda's family had never cared for her. But then again her family hadn't really liked Melinda so. Even her old partner Jacks texted with a link for a private company that cleaned up crime scenes. Which her place now was. He said his brother owned it so he could get her a good discount. 

She turned back to look at Andrew who in spite of the difference in races always reminded her of her own father. What she could remember of him anyway. No wonder Spencer still considered this man to be a father. " Melinda being killed. It's obvious that whoever killed her did it because of me. They left messages on my walls after. About Pamela. And I told the other cops and I told DuBuis last night so I guess I will tell you that someone is calling me posing as Pamela. "

Andrew paled slightly under his tan. " That's awful. Do you or the other police know who it might be ? "

Faith whispered as she pulled her jeans clad legs up on the bed and tucked under her in an old fashioned indian style move ," I think it's Penelope who I am - was - having an affair with. Don't judge me. My marriage to Melinda was not a match made in heaven. It's not DuBuis and Spencer or Richard and Nigel. Or you and Glory. It was.... basically an accident because I was drinking. I don't even remember it. It was an open marriage. At least on my part. So I was not cheating. Not on Melinda. I cheated on Pamela. "

She paused , her voice suddenly too choked up to continue. She coughed for a bit and then continued on ," I cheated on Pamela with Melinda. I don't know why. I wasn't even drinking then. But I did it and Melinda told Pamela and she went out.... She had the accident that killed herself and almost killed Nigel. I think Penelope found out and blames me for her cousin dying. She is right. I might as well have killed Pamela. I might as well have put the scars on Nigel's face and made him totally blind for a little while. I drink to drown out the guilt. It never works though. "

Andrew looked at her and his grey eyes seemed to be so understanding. " I can relate to guilt, Faith. I deal with guilt all my life. Not just what happened in the custody battle years ago but..... What came after. Everyone knows I was drunk a lot after that. I was drunk more than I was sober. I was both a singing drunk and an angry drunk. I was always looking for a fight. I was stupid too. I was so stupid I would drive while drunk.  That's what I was doing when I hit the child that night. So long ago. I'll never forgive myself. "