Never Again: Chapter 39
Iris's POV
I was woken by Zayn, I opened my eyes and realised that everyone, except, Rose and Niall, were by my side. I wagged my tail, and they gave me warm smiles. I didn't want them to be mad at me or scared. I was laying on Liam's grave so I got up and walked towards them. They tensed a little so I laid back down wagging my tail so they felt safer.
Louis reached out, hesitatingly. I licked his hand, to reassure him that I wasn't going to bite. He smiled and pet my head. I stood up and nuzzled against Louis hand again. He chuckled lightly and then Harry stroked my back. I enjoyed their touch. Zayn walked up to me and wrapped his arms around my neck. Louis and Harry stopped petting me and smiled. I licked Zayn's face and he laughed, pulling back.
I needed there warm smiles and happy attitude, I was glad they forgave me. Aden turned into wolf form and then tackled me to the ground. He wanted to wrestle, I loved wrestling with Aden, because I could bite him, and scratch him all I wanted and he would be okay. I bit him hard and pushed him off of me and ran away. Aden chased after me, and the guys followed after us. We raced to the house me beating all of them and I pranced around barking an wagging my tail with joy. Aden rolled around in the grass whining loudly, and the guys were laughing at us.
All of our moods changed when Rose and Niall pulled into the driveway. I stiffened and laid down on the grass. They got out, and Niall smiled at us, the pack smiled back, even Aden gave a wolfy grin and turned human.
"Iris it is polite to be human when your alphas approach you," Aden said out loud. I ignored him and rolled onto my side.
I didn't want to be polite, Niall hurt my feelings and I didn't feel like masking my emotions so I stayed wolf form. I caught a glimpse of my reflection in the window...... My eyes were red, and I knew that it was the self hate, pain, and guilt I was feeling. I was truly broken, but no one could tell, not even Aden knew everything.
I was basically a wall masking my pain, But I had cracks and occasionally the pain would leak out. Then I would do some quick repairs, so no one would notice the cracks. The whole time knowing that one day i would break down and I wouldn't be able to hide all the pain. I was dreading that day, I didn't want anyone's pity, I didn't deserve it. I didn't want to show them I was weak, I wanted to seem strong and bulletproof, even though every harsh word and every wicked glare was killing me inside, I would just pretend to ignore it. Truth be told, I wanted to run away and be by my self, so that I didn't have to pretend to be happy for the sake of others. I knew the pack hasn't seen me cry in 4 months, Aden hasn't either, hopefully it would stay that way, I didn't want to show them how weak I was, and maybe that's why I hated when my eyes turned red. It showed how weak I actually was, even if they didn't know how extreme the pain I was feeling was, they still could tell I was in pain by my red eyes.
"Iris I want to apologize," Niall said, everyone looked relieved and pleased with him. Maybe it was because he was accepting responsibility of hitting me. But I wasn't happy at all. I had never been hit before, I don't care if he was moody, he hit me, and that wasn't acceptable.
I turned human and sat up, staring at him. "I wanted to say I'm sorry for hitting you, I wasn't my self, I would never hit you or anyone for the matter if I was my normal self," he explained.
"So your saying that you had no control when you decided to hit me," I snapped.
"Well not exactly...." he said.
"Oh well I had no control over my self when I killed Liam but you still blame me! Yeah Niall I get it! I killed Liam! But it isn't like I woke up one morning and decided to murder him!" I growled.
