Kaylor Family One-Shots

Fear

I appologize in advance to all of you who have been affected by the issues that are discussed in this one-shot. I do not have children yet and it is not my intention to hurt people who are deeply affected by this tragedy on a daily basis. My thoughts are with you and your families.

Taylor's P.O.V

It's a different type of terror and as I slide to the floor I realise that this is the second time I've ever had to take a pregnancy test and now as Austin stands near the door waiting for Paul to come back from the pharmacy on the corner I feel like I'm slowly going insane because the first time I didn't want this but now I do. I glance down at my left hand and see the representation that proves that I want this baby but I could be completely over-reacting and I may not be pregnant. I cast a glance at Austin who is pacing and hasn't actually left in the last four days despite being due back at college on Monday and it's now Thursday. Austin had only come to New York to see what the apartment now looks like since Karlie convinced me to repaint and redecorate. Now as I look at Austin I realise how different he is now compared to the last time we went through this, he's more mature and definitely more manly somehow. He tackles issues like an adult instead of his sarcastic humour he used to have and secretly you know you wouldn't want him any other way right now with Karlie being out on a shoot for Nike.

As a knock comes and Austin glances at me before opening it to Paul holding onto a bulging pharmacy bag I begin to feel lightheaded and I groan out praying that it doesn't make me nauseous enough to rush for the bathroom. I barely hear Austin thank Paul and when the door clicks shut and Austin turns to me I begin to voice my fears. "I don't think I can do this," I state trying not to whine. "I mean I've spent most of my life trying to not get pregnant and now this..." I state tossing my hand out towards the bag in Austin's hand making him look at it. "Well, this isn't for me." He sits down and continues, "besides, isn't this what you want Teffy?" I look at him and nod,
"But what if it doesn't work?" He grins at me and gets a sly look before saying,
"Well if it doesn't work and you're not then I would encourage you to try again. Like you made me do when I didn't want to ride my bike after falling off a few summers ago." I smile at the memory of Austin covered in Band-Aids after a fall in L.A while he was out with Karlie mountain biking.
"Should I wait for Karlie, or just do it?" Austin shrugs.
"It's your choice, I can't influence you either way. Why don't you take these to the bathroom so you're ready when you decide to do it and grab a water." I nod and walk away as Austin settles into the couch and turns on the T.V to some weird program he's really invested in. Meanwhile I pace the length of my shared bedroom with Karlie as Meredith watches from the bed. She followed me in after seeing me sitting on the floor which probably brought back memories from when I was younger and she was a kitten and it was just the two of us, cuddled and crying. Well me crying and her providing comfort.

It seems like hours pass before I hear Karlie walk into the apartment and from my place on the bed I can hear her talking to Austin who wastes no time in telling her where I am. I can hear her rushing upstairs taking two at a time with her long lanky legs. She pauses in the doorway and looks at me. "Hey, what's up? Austin said you're not feeling well." I look up at her and hand the bag to her. I watch her look inside and she blinks and looks at me and says, "are you feeling okay?" I look at her and shrug, "anxious, terrified and nervous." I watch Karlie smile her sunshine smile and sit next to me and take my hand in hers. "That's normal," she states as she kisses my cheek. "Do you want to take a test to see?" she questions but I can hear the enthusiasm in her voice. I knew she would be excited but the fear is over taking me. "Well, I guess we should..."
"Okay, well how about we move to the bathroom, where you can use them?" I look up at her taking in her witty banter but I don't respond to it. "What's wrong?" she questions caressing my face and pulling my hair behind my ear. But this action forces me into her arms, making her quickly adjust so we don't topple off the bed. I can feel ugly fat tears rolling down my cheeks but I can't stop it and as Karlie tries to soothe me with her words and small kisses on my head I let it slip the one thing that I've always kept secret from those who I feared would judge me. The only person who knew was Austin and that was because he was with me that night that I found out. "I thought that taking these tests would be easier this time around but I guess not." With that I pull back quickly as Karlie looks at me and then at the bag at her feet. "You've taken a test before?" I nod and look away so I don't see the disappointment in her face. "And, was it just for a joke?" she questions obviously not clear on why I would take one. "No, I was actually pregnant." I watch her face change and within seconds she has me on her lap, whispering calming words in my ear as I become aware of those same tears falling once more.