Undefined (Book #1 Joshler)

CHAPTER 4: Josh

The door, opens.
The nurse, cautious.
Me, hugging my knees in the corner.

"Tyler, it's visiting hours... I don't think your parents are here today.... Do you want to go outside to the exercise area?"
I stand up, "sure."

The guards, escort me to the exercise area.
The air outside, warm.
The sun, shinning.
Me, sitting on a bench watching people in the visiting room.

I see the boy with bright yellow hair through the window.... He's looking at me.
I look away for a second.
He's gone.
I frown.

A nurse, comes outside.
She tells me there's someone here to see me.
I follow her inside.
She brings me to my table.

A few moments later the yellow haired boy sits down across from me.
"Hi"
I look around the room. "Hi"
"I'm Josh."
I look at Josh. "Hi... I'm Tyler.... Why are you talking to me? Why aren't you visiting the person you know in here?"
"Um I already seen them... I seen you outside by yourself and thought you might want someone to talk to."
This is different. I don't like it but for some odd reason I want to keep talking to him.
"Oh... Um I'm uh sorry about yesterday."
"What are you sorry for?"
I look out the window. "I don't know.. You looked kinda scared when I was freaking out."
"Don't worry about that I mean I was a little scared because the only person I've seen do that is my friend who's in here.... Well I wouldn't call them my friend exactly their just someone I know and I only started to come visit them because the person that usually does is sick but once they get better I won't have to come anymore."
I shift in my seat,"oh... I like your hair.... It makes me happy."
"My hair makes you happy?"
I play with my fingers, "yeah because it's really bright and full of life so is your tattoo sleeve I like that too. It's a change from the dull colors I'm used to seeing... I don't like change tho but I do like colors."
"Oh okay.... Where are your parents today?"
I shrugged," I don't know... sometimes they come sometimes they don't."
"Oh... Sorry.."
I'm confused," why are you sorry?"
"Cause your parents don't visit you everyday."
The buzzer went off signalling that visiting hours are over and I jumped at the sudden sound. I hit my knee off the table. "Ouch."
"Are you okay?"
I rub my knee and nod.
"Um I have to go now. Are you going to be here tomorrow?"
I shrug,"maybe."
"Okay bye Tyler."
I wave ,"bye"

The guards, take me back to my room.
One guard sits in the chair by the door... That's different... I don't like it.
"Why are you sitting there."
"Well because that boy was talking to you today which is different and you don't like change so I'm here to make sure you don't freak out."
I sigh,"but you sitting there is also different and I don't like it. I want you to leave. I'm not angry about talking to the boy.. I liked it."
"Are you sure?"
I nodded.
"Okay."

I was alone again.
I started doing my walking around method until it was time to eat.
The guard, escorts me to the cafeteria.

I eat my food but Don't finish.... I can never finish I start to feel sick after eating so much of it.

The guard then takes me to the shower room.
I go into one of the shower stalls and strip.
I always feel uncomfortable in the shower because of how many people are in here.
Also because the guards watch every move I make.

I wash my entire body and rinse off.
I grab a towel and dry myself.
I put my clothes back on.

There's a new guard.
I don't like it.
The new guard, takes me back to my room.
I don't like it.
The new guard takes a different route.
I. Don't. Like. It.

I stop in the middle of the hall suddenly feeling very angry.
The guard gives me a confused look.
My hands ball into fists.
"No."
"No?"
I sit on the floor,"I don't like you. Your not my usual guard. Your not taking the usual way."
"Um I'm sorry we can go the other way if you want."
My breath quickens, "NO!"
"Why are you screaming?"
I hug my knees, " GO AWAY!"
A few nurses hear the commotion and come into the hall.
"ALL OF YOU GO AWAY!"
"Tyler calm down what's wrong? Why are you freaking out?" a nurse asks.
"EVERYTHING! EVERYTHING'S WRONG! I DON'T LIKE IT! STOP CHANGING THINGS!"
"Tyler change is a part of life."
I feel even angrier, "NO!"
A nurse tries to grab me and bring me to my room. "DON'T TOUCH ME! I DON'T WANT YOU TO TOUCH ME!"
More people try to grab me and bring me to my room.
I stand up and punch one of the nurses in the nose.
I run. I don't know where I'm going, but I keep running. I don't want to be here.
Guards are chasing after me.
I keep running.
"LEAVE ME ALONE!" I scream as one grabs me.
"Tyler stop screaming."
I get out of his grip, "NO STOP! I CAN'T DO THIS! I DON'T WANT TO DO THIS! I WANT TO LEAVE!"
"And go where? Your not allowed to leave."
I collapse on the ground and cry, curling into a ball.
I miss my mom.
I miss my dad.
I miss my siblings.
I miss my bedroom.
I miss being able to do what I want.
I miss a lot of things.

Everyone around me is making slow movements. A nurse speaks, "Tyler... are you ready to go back to your room?"
I nod. I want to sleep.
A guard picks me up and carries me to my room laying me on the bed.
I slowly fall asleep.

The room, dead silent.
The air, still cold.
My mind, numb.