Undefined (Book #1 Joshler)

CHAPTER 13: Run

I woke up early today. I've been up for a few hours just painting random words and doodles on the wall.

The door opens and in comes the nurse and Dr. Varrence.
The nurse hands me my medication, I just look at it before throwing it across the room and turning my attention back to painting.
"Tyler what the hell?" the nurse speaks.
"What?"
"Why did you do that?"
"Why not? You know what don't answer just get out."
As the nurse leaves I can feel Dr. Varrence staring at me so I turn to face her.

"What?"
"Why did you do that?"
"Because I did."
Dr. Varrence was about to speak again when Dr. James came into the room.
"Tyler this needs to stop your attitude has been all over the place since yesterday. Do I need to call your parents?" he spoke
"Go ahead not like they care about me or anything."
"Tyler." he warned
"Dr. James."
"Why are you all of a sudden acting like this?"
"Why are you all of a sudden acting concerned about me? I told you yesterday I'm past saving so stop trying."
"We can still fix you."
"No you can't! Don't you see? There's nothing you can do, there's nothing anyone can do! No amount of therapy or medication can fix what's wrong with me, we've tried it doesn't work! I just keep getting worse, I see it, you see it even my parents see it."
"Tyler don't talk like that."
"I want you to leave.... Now!"
"I'm not leaving until this behavior stops."
"Well if you don't leave were gonna have a repeat of last night and I don't think you want that."
He didn't say anything else he just walked out of the room.

"Yeah that's what I thought you piece of shit." I mumbled.
"Tyler... What's going on with you?"
"Does it matter?"
"Yes this isn't like you. I'm worried... Why don't we talk? You can let your feelings and thoughts out."
"Oh you'd like that wouldn't you." I laughed slightly.
"Yes actually I would."
"It's not gonna happen sorry to disappoint you."
'HEY TYLER STILL IN A MOOD I SEE.'
'no shit.'
"Why don't you tell me why you feel the need to act this way?"
"It's not that I feel the need to I'm just sick of everything and everyone. I want it to be over."
"You want what to be over?"
"My life."
'I LIKE WHERE THIS IS GOING AND I TOTALLY AGREE WITH YOU. DO IT!'
'oh I will don't worry. First chance I get I'm gone.'
"Are you saying your having suicidal thoughts?"
"No. I'm saying I want a pet unicorn." I replied sarcastically.
'*laughing*'
"Tyler this isn't the right time."
"Why not I think it's a perfect time."
"Tyler this is serious if your having these thoughts you need to tell me."

"I am serious."
Dr. Varrence sighed.
"What happened Tyler? You were doing so well. You were telling me things and you seemed like you were getting better."
"You know what happened."
'IT BE FUN IF YOU WERE TO HAVE AN EPISODE RIGHT NOW.. SHE'S NEVER SEEN YOU HAVE ONE IT WOULD BE FUN TO SEE HER REACTION.'
'maybe I will.'
"Is this about Josh?"
"No it's about cats."
"They won't tell me why they took him I spent all day yesterday trying to get them to tell me but they won't. I know your upset about it but-"
"STOP! JUST STOP IT! STOP TALKING ABOUT HIM!"
"Don't yell Tyler it's okay."
"IT'S NOT OKAY! NOTHINGS OKAY! DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND? I WILL NEVER BE OKAY!"
'DO WHAT I SAY.'
'okay.'
"I understand your upset maybe even scared.. But the way your dealing with it isn't healthy." she said standing up and walking toward me.
'HIT HER!'
I waste no time in punching her.
'YES!'
"Tyler what was that for?" she said from her place that is now on the floor.
A few security guards run in.
'TELL THEM TO LEAVE!'
"GET OUT!"
They try to grab me.
'SCREAM!'
I cover my ears with my hands and scream as loud as I can making the guards stop and take a few steps back.
I feel very angry.

My angered breaths filled the room as the everyone remained still.
'RUN PAST THEM! OUT THE DOOR! JUST RUN! DON'T STOP!'
My feet started moving without a second thought as I pushed past them and ran down the hall.
'FIND THE EXIT!'
I could hear people running after me.
'FASTER!!'
I pick up the pace and turned down a hallway that had an exit sign pointing down it.
"CODE 9 I REPEAT CODE 9 WE HAVE A RUNNER.. COMMENCE LOCK DOWN." the voice sounded over the PA system.
'SHIT GO FASTER GET THERE BEFORE THEY LOCK IT!'
I start to breath heavy as I get to the door. I try to open it, it's already locked.
"NOOOO!!!!!!" I screamed.
The guards ran up behind me and slowly started walking toward me.
I panted and moved back against the wall.
'YOU WEREN'T FAST ENOUGH! YOU COULD HAVE BEEN OUT OF HERE! WHY CAN'T YOU DO ANYTHING RIGHT!!!!!!!!'
I started to cry as I coward' in the corner still trying to catch my breath.
'STOP CRYING AND LISTEN TO ME!'
'..okay..'
'RUN... TO THE CAFETERIA... THEY HAVE TO HAVE KNIFES SOMEWHERE IN THERE RIGHT?!'
'yeah.'
'WELL GO FIND THEM!!!'
I took a step forward and they took a step back. I took one last breath before running again, I ran right past them and toward the cafeteria they all followed.
I ran into the area where the food is made and spotted the knife block.
'GRAB ONE!'
I grinned slightly and took one out holding it out in front of me and inspecting it.

*Meanwhile 'THIRD PERSON VIEW'*

"Go get that Josh kid" Dr. Varrence spoke.
"Are you sure?" the guard said.
"Yes. Get him. Now!"
The guard nodded and ran out of the room coming back with a confused looking Josh.
"Follow me."
Josh nodded with furrowed eyebrows and followed Dr. Varrence into the cafeteria where Tyler was holding a knife to his wrist.
Josh's eyes widened and he ran into the place where the food was prepared.

'TYLER'S VIEW'

I had the knife hovering over my wrist.
'DO IT!!!!!!!!!'
'it's finally going to be over.' I smile.
'YES NOW DO IT!!!!'
I slowly press the knife into my skin.

"Tyler no stop!!!"
My head snaps up to see Josh, his eyes wide and filled with tears.
"Don't Ty. Please don't. Please Don't leave me."
I look down at my wrist that still had the knife pressed to it choking back a sob.
'WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?!!?!?! DO ITTT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'
I look back up.
"Josh?" I sob.
"Yes Ty its me. please listen to me don't do this."
'DON'T LISTEN TO HIM! LISTEN TO ME ! HE DOESN'T CARE REMEMBER?'
"I.. I have to... I can't... I... Can't."
"Please Ty please! I need you please!"
Josh was begging for me to stop.
I drop the knife.
'TYLER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'
Josh runs over to me and hugs me tightly. I just cry letting sobs escape my mouth.
"Shhhhh shhh your okay.. I got you.. Everything's okay."
My shoulders shake with each uneven breath.
'YOU COULD HAVE BEEN FREE! WHY DID YOU STOP!!! YOU WORTHLESS WASTE OF SPACE!!!'
I cried even harder.
"SHUT UP!!!!!!!!!!!" I scream.
Josh hugs me tighter.
'ALL OF THIS FOR NOTHING! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST DO SOMETHING CORRECTLY FOR ONCE?!!!!!!??'
'I'm sorry.'
'THEN LISTEN TO ME .. MOVE AWAY FROM JOSH... TELL HIM YOU HATE HIM!'
'but I don't hate him.'
'NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!'
"AAAHHHHHHH STOP!"
'DO IT!'

I take in a shaky breath and push Josh off me. He looked at me confused.
"GO AWAY! I HATE YOU! LEAVE ME ALONE!"
I really didn't want to say it... I don't hate Josh ... I really don't but it's the only way to get blurry to stop.
Josh looked hurt.
A guard grabbed me from behind holding my arms down as I looked at Josh through tears.
A guard grabbed Josh as well and pulled him out of the cafeteria.
The next thing I know I'm past out.