Undefined (Book #1 Joshler)

CHAPTER 56: Private Class

I woke up in Josh's arms.
He was awake.
"Josh?"
"Hm?"
"I'm sorry." I whispered.
"It's okay."
"I.. I've never felt like this."
"Like what?"
"I feel so bad for everything I've done. I've never cared until now."
"That's okay."
"Is it? Is it really Josh?"
"Well.."
"That's what I thought."
He sighed.
I leaned back to look at him.
He looked back at me.
"I'm scared." I just barely whisper.
"Of what?"
"I still want to hurt people.. Just now... I feel guilty for it... I don't like that I want to hurt people. Me wanting to hurt people scares me."
"Well you just got to try to control yourself. I know it's hard baby but you need to try."
I nodded.
"I..."
"You what? It's okay you can tell me."
"I want to kiss you."
"Then kiss me."
I quickly leaned forward and pressed my lips to his.
My arms around his neck and pulling at those little hairs.
"I love you Tyler."
Josh mumbled.
"I love you too."
"Dr. James is supposed to be coming back soon."
"For what?"
I pulled away.
"Well when he was here earlier he wanted to introduce you to someone but you fell asleep so.. They'll be coming back soon."
"Oh. Well there goes my plans."
"What?"
"I was going to do something but I can't if their coming."
"What were you going to do?"
"Touch you."
He licked his lips.
I gave him a quick kiss then kisses up the side of his neck, stopping at his ear.
"I was going to touch you and make you feel good." I whispered.
He groaned from the back of his throat.
I pulled back and smirked.
"But I can't do that since people are coming."
I got up off his lap and sat on the end of the bed.

"Tyyllleeerrr." he whined.
"Hm?"
"Your such a tease."
I just smiled.
I looked down at myself and only then did I realise I don't have a shirt on.
I looked up at Josh.
"What?"
"I don't have a shirt on."
"Yeah?"
"Well if I'm meeting someone I don't really want them to see me half naked."
"Oh... Um.. Do you want to put my sweater back on?"
I nodded with a smile.
The sweater was draped over a chair by the door.
Josh stood up and grabbed it, then walked over to me.
I took it from his hands and slipped it on over my head.
He smiled.
"Its way too big for you."
The sleeves went past my hands and the hem went a little way down my thighs.
"I like it. Its mine now."
"Your not going to give it back?"
I shook my head.
"That's okay because I wasn't expecting it back anyway."
I smiled.
Dr. James and that dude from earlier came in then.

"Hello." I greeted.
"Hello. Tyler this is Richard. He's going to be your new anger management instructor. These are also new classes. Private classes."
"Okay."
"Would you want to start now or tomorrow?"
"I don't know."
"How about now?"
"Sure."
I grabbed Josh's hand and pulled him to sit on the bed.
"But Josh is staying this time."
"Okay that's fine. I'll see you later."
I intertwined our fingers.
"Hello Tyler, Josh." Richard spoke grabbing the chair by the door and bringing it over by the bed to sit down.
"Hi."
"Hi."
"Alright so Tyler.. I want to start off with you telling me how you feel at this exact moment."
"Um..."
I looked up at Josh.
"Scared."
"Scared? Why?"
"Um.. I don't really know."
"Hmm.. Do you feel angry at all?"
"A little."
"Do you know why?"
I shook my head.
"Do you think maybe your scared or angry because we started this today?"
My hand tightened around Josh's.
"Hey hey relax it's okay." he whispered.
I took a deep breath and loosened my grip.
"I don't know.. Maybe."
"Okay. Why don't you tell me some ways you could channel your anger.. Different ways...ways that won't harm anyone. Like what do you think could be some alternatives?"
"Um.. I don't know... Scream?"
"Scream hmm that could work yeah. Anything else?"
"Um.. Hit something?"
"It depends on what you hit."
"Um. The wall? Or maybe a pillow?"
"The pillow is probably a better option that way you don't hurt yourself."
I nodded.
"Anything else?"
"No."
"Okay.. Josh can you think of any?"
"Um.. Breathe. Just like.. Take deep calming breaths.. Maybe?."
"Yeah and there's a lot more."
"There is?"
"Yes. Like. Talking about it with someone, writing, doing something to distract yourself, like playing an instrument or coloring."
"I can't do a lot of those things."
"I know I'm just saying."
"Oh."
"Can you tell me what makes you the most angry?"
"Um.. I-i don't know... A lot of things make me angry."
"Like what?"
"Well... Some people in general make me angry, people who are mean to me, when people do things I don't like...."
I sighed.
"The real question is what doesn't make me angry."
"Okay.. Do you want to tell me what doesn't make you angry?"
"Josh."
"Josh?"
"Doesn't make me angry."
"Oh. Okay."
Josh gently squeezed my hand.