Undefined (Book #1 Joshler)

BONUS #3

FIVE MONTHS HOME

Josh paced back and forth in front of me.
He was mad.
I stared at the floor.
I

had, had my first episode since I left the hospital.
The apartment was trashed when Josh had came home from work.
I was passed out in the middle of it.
"What happened?"
I sniffled and looked around the messy room.
"Tyler. Answer me."
I stared at my lap.
"I guess I have to call Dr. James then."
I started crying, pulling my legs up onto the bed and hugging them, sobbing into the fabric of my pajama pants.
Josh sighed and sat down next to me, pulling me into his lap.
"Tell me what happened. I won't be mad."
I took a shaky breath.
"I-i had an episode." I whispered.
"Why?"
I knew why but he'd be mad if I told him.
"Tyler? Why did you have an episode?"
I gripped the front of his shirt harshly, my face buried in his neck.
He gently moved my face to look at him.
"I need you to talk to me."
I shook my head.
He wiped my cheeks with his thumbs.
"It's okay. Just tell me."
I took a deep breath, looking away.
"I haven't been taking my medication."
"Why not?"
I shrugged.
"What do you do with it when I give it to you then?"
"Throw it out.. or hide it."
"How long have you been doing this?"
"I don't know, a month or two."
He sighed again.
"I'm sorry."
"It's okay." He whispered, kissing the side of my head and hugging me.

"You realize I have to call Dr. James right?"
"I don't want to go back."
"I know."
"He's gonna make me go back."
"We don't know that let's just call him and see what he has to say."
I shook my head.
"No please don't call him. He'll make me go back and then I won't be ever allowed to leave again."
"You're not going back okay? I won't let them take you back there."
I took a deep breath willing myself to calm down before I start freaking out again.
Josh took his phone out of his pocket.
"No." I sobbed, trying to take it out of his hands.
He moved it back out of my reach.
I stood up to try to grab it.
He picked me up and laid me on the bed before straddling me and holding my wrists above my head with his free hand.
He dialed Dr. James number and put the phone on speaker.
"Hello?"
"Dr. James.. uh.. it's Josh."
"Josh? Is everything okay?"
"I'm afraid not."
"What happened?"
Josh looked at me.
I was struggling to get out of his grip.
"Do you want to tell him Tyler?"
"No, please." I sobbed.
"If you don't I will."
I sniffled.
"I had an episode."
Dr. James sighed.
"You did? Why?"
"I wasn't taking my medication."
"I see."
"Please don't make me go back."
"Do you understand why you have to take it now?"
"Yes."
"Are you going to start taking it again?"
"Yes."
"Okay."
"Do I have to go back?"
"I'm going to come by in a bit and see just how bad the damage is and then I'll decide."
I choked on a few sobs.
He's gonna send me back.