Undefined (Book #1 Joshler)

CHAPTER 66: It's Settled

JOSH'S VIEW ~

"Josh?"
"Hm?"
"Get up."
"Mm no I'm sleeping."
"Jooossshhh."
"Whaaattttt?"
"Please?"
I sighed but reluctantly opened my eyes.
Before I had anytime to react he started kissing me.
Slowly I pulled away.
"You wanted me
up so you could kiss me?"
"Well no..."
"Then what did you want?"
"Um... I want to show you something."
"Okay what is it?"
He placed his notebook on the bed and slid it toward me.
It was open.
I sat up, picked it up and read it.

I love you.

I looked up at him and smiled.
"Why did you write it instead of saying it?"
He shrugged.
"Thought I'd do it in a different way for once."
"I love you too."
I said pulling him into a kiss.
He smiled against my lips.
I pulled away, he was trying to hide his smile.
"What? Is there something else you want to tell me?"
He nodded.
"Okay what is it?"
"Your cute when you sleep."
I laughed.
"Okay if you say so."
"Oh and I'm going to talk with Dr. James in a few minutes."
"Oh? About what?"
"I don't know yet he just said he needed to talk to me."
"Oh. Want me to take you there?"
"No your not allowed to come... That sounded mean but um.. Dr. James said he needs to talk to me privately."
"Oh.. okay."
"I should probably go now."
"Okay baby I'll see you in a bit then?"
He nodded and gave me another quick kiss before pressing the buzzer and leaving.

TYLER'S VIEW ~

I walked down the hall with the guard and thanked him once I arrived at Dr. James office.
"Hello Tyler, how are you today?"
He asked as I walked in.
"Good, you?"
"Good."
I nodded and stared at my feet.
"You wanted to talk?"
"Yes but we have to wait for Dr. Hawley."
"Why?" I asked, starting to feel nervous.
Did I do something wrong?
Am I in trouble?
"Becau-"
There was a knock on the door then Dr. Hawley came in.
"Hello Tyler, Dr. James."
"Hello Dr. Hawley."
I didn't say anything.
"Tyler why don't you have a seat?"
I nodded and sat down.
I could feel myself slightly start to shake.
Am I going to the safe room?
"Okay so Tyler me and Dr. Hawley were talking and you've made a lot of progress the last little while."
"Mhm."
"Any reason for your sudden change in mood?"
"I want to leave." I whispered, avoiding eye contact.
"Why do you suddenly want to leave? Is it because of Josh?"
I nodded.
"Explain to us why he makes you want to leave."
I don't want to talk so I just stared at th floor.
"Does he make you want to be a better person?"
I nod.
"Do you feel bad because he has to come here all the time to see you?"
I nod.
"Any other reason you want to leave?"
"I want to be happy with Josh."
I whisper shakily.
"And to do that you want to be out of here?"
I nodded.
"I want to live with Josh and marry him and have a cat or something."
"But do you know if that's what Josh wants?"
I finally look up.
"What if Josh doesn't want any of that?"
"Don't say that." I said trying not to cry.
"I'm serious Tyler what if Josh doesn't want that?"
"Stop."
"Answer me Tyler."
"No stop."
"Tyler."
"Please. Stop." I started to cry.

"Why are you crying Tyler?"
"T-that's one of my worst fears."
"What is?"
"That Josh is lying to me. That he really just hates me. That he only comes so I don't freak out. That he doesn't really love me and that he's going to leave."
"Well I don't think Dr. Hawley was implying that, he was just asking what you'd do if  Josh didn't want that."
I took a shaky breath, my shoulders tensing.
"Do you understand?"
I didn't answer because my mind started wandering.
What if Josh is lying to me?
What if he doesn't want that?
What if he does hate me?
What if he doesn't love me?
What if he is going to leave me?
What if-
"Tyler?"
I look up.
"Are you okay?"
I stared at him for a few seconds then shook my head.
"Overthinking?"
I nod.
"Want me to get Josh?"
I nodded more frantically, trying not to cry harder than I already am.
Dr. James nodded and stood up.
Dr. Hawley watched him go then looked at me.
"I'm sorry Tyler. I didn't mean to upset you."
I took a deep breath.

Before I know it Josh is coming into the room and kneeling in front of me.
I slip down off the chair and hug him.
"I'm not going anywhere, I don't hate you, I'm not lying to you, I promise.... Remember?"
He reached for my hand and ran his thumb over the ring.
I stared at the ring for a while then looked at Josh.
"I love you."
"I love you too."
He sighed and pulled me back for another hug.
"Josh?"
"Hm?"
I tugged on his sweater.
He didn't even say anything, he just took it off.
It wasn't the one I usually wore but it was still his.
He slipped it on over my head and kissed my forehead.
He pulled me into his lap and hugged me
I leaned my forehead on his shoulder by his neck.
"Okay well Tyler... The whole point of us talking today is because you might be getting to leave soon if you continue to progress."
I nod.
"You aren't excited?"
"

I am. I'm just tired."
"Okay... Want to go to sleep?"
"Mhm."
Josh stood up, carrying me.
"I'm going to take him back to the room."
"Okay."
I closed my eyes.
With each step Josh took I bounced the slightest bit, but it was calming somehow and I slowly drifted to sleep.

°~°

When I woke up it finally hit me that I was going to be leaving soon.
I squirmed around for a second then scrambled to sit up and look at Josh.
He was on his phone, but was now looking at me.
"What was that about?" He laughed.
"I might be leaving soon!"
"I know."
"I can't wait."
I couldn't stop smiling.
Josh smiled at my excitement.
I threw myself at him and kissed him.
"Thank you." I said into the kiss.
"For what?"
"Everything. I love you so much Josh thank you."
"You're welcome. I love you too."
I gave him a few more quick kisses.
"Okay, settle down a bit I want to show you something."
"Okay."
I turned around in his lap and sat down, my back pressed to his chest.
He opened his phone and showed me a picture of an apartment.
"What do you think about this place?"
I gently took the phone from his hands and looked at the pictures.
"It's really nice."
"It's kind of small but it'll do for now, don't you think?"
"Mhm."
"Good, I'm glad you like it. Also I want you to look at some of these."
He pulled up some photos of cats and showed them to me.
"Oh my God their so cute. Josh look at this one. It's adorable."
"Is that the one you like the best?"
"Yes it's so cute."
"Okay then it's settled. I'll get that apartment and then I'll go and adopt the cat. Any ideas on what you want to name it?"
"Wait what?"
"The cat what do you want to name it?"
"Your going to get me the cat?"
"Mhm. I'm pretty sure that ones a boy."
"Your really getting me it?"
"Yep."
I started to tear up.
I turned around and hugged him.
"Thank you."
"You're welcome. Now names?"
"Umm.."
I turned back around and looked at him.
He was a big grey cat with greenish yellow eyes.
"Finn."
"Okay. Finn it is."
I smiled and hugged him again.
Now I can't wait even more to leave.