Undefined (Book #1 Joshler)

CHAPTER 14: I'll Stay

I woke up, it was dark.
I'm not in my room.
I'm scared.
I sit up in a panicked manner and hug my knees, looking around the unfamiliar room with shaky breaths.

'WORTHLESS.' blurrys voice echoed in my head.
I hear a noise and jolt my head into the direction it came from but all I see is darkness.
I can feel myself shaking.
A small crack of light comes from where I heard the noise a few moments ago.
The light is blinding.
More lights get turned on, I have to squint my eyes so I can see.
"Your awake." Dr. James said.
I didn't say anything.
"Sorry about the room change.... This one is just more secure. We don't need you pulling another stunt like that."
"Where's Josh?" I said my voice wavering.
"That's not important... Do you want anything?"
"I want Josh."
"I thought you said you hated him."
"I don't.. Blurry made me say it...."
"Did blurry make you do everything else as well?"
"Yeah... That doesn't mean I didn't want to do it tho."
"So you wanted to die."
"No.. I want to die... Just because I failed doesn't mean I don't want it any less."
"Hmm.... I'm serious tho do you want anything?"
"Yes... Josh... I want Josh... Please."
"I'm afraid that can't happen."
"Why not?"
"Because after we pulled Josh out of the cafeteria he left... He probably went home."
"Your lying."
"I'm not."
"Please! I need Josh! I'm scared! Please!"
"Why are you scared?"

"Are you kidding me? I just tried to kill myself... I woke up in an unfamiliar room.. I don't know where the one person that can make me happy is... Blurrys getting stronger and he's talking more.. There's so many things going on and I can't handle it."
"Why do you like Josh so much?"
"Because he's nice to me... He doesn't see me as different.. He doesn't treat me like I'm a suicidal mental patient. He treats me as Tyler... He sees me as Tyler.. Nothing else.. He doesn't want me to change like everyone else... He makes me feel happy... When I'm with him I feel like there's a point to life, like it's worth it to keep going... He makes me feel safe. He makes me feel needed... He makes me feel wanted............ He makes me feel loved."
Dr. James stayed silent for a few moments.
"Your parents are here.... And your siblings... They want to come see you... I'm going to go get them I'll be right back."
"I don't want them."
"You don't?"
"No.. I want Josh."
He sighed before leaving the room.

When the door opened my family rushed over to me my mom and dad grabbing my face and hugging me as my siblings pulled on my clothes trying to hug me.
I didn't move.
"Tyler we were so worried we thought we lost you."  my mom said.
I sighed with a sad look on my face.
"Whats wrong Tyler?"
"Nothing... you don't care anyway."
"Tell me whats wrong right now."
"I want Josh mom..."
"That won't be happening we didn't get Dr. James to take him away for nothing."
"Wait what!? Your the ones that took Josh away!?! Why would you do that!!!!!!?????"
"He's a bad influence."
"No he's not! If it weren't for him I'd be dead! You should be thanking him and showing him some respect! Do you not realise he makes me happy?! I'm never happy so for him to make me happy is a big deal!"
"Omg... Tyler.. Your right.. We judged him by his looks were so sorry."
"Save it. I told you from the start he's not a bad person but did you listen? No! I want you all to leave. Go."
"Tyler don't be like that... Just give us a second."
My mom got up and left the room.

A few moments later the door opened and my mom walked in, followed by some security, and then Josh.
He still had a hurt look on his face.
"JOSH!" I cried and jumped up from the bed, clinging to him.
"I'm sorry.. I'm so sorry I didn't mean it I don't hate you... I love you please I'm sorry."
"Shhh Ty it's okay.. I love you too."
He hugged me and rubbed my back.
"I want everyone out except Josh." I spoke into his chest.
"But Tyler-"
"Please!"
Everyone slowly walked out shutting the door behind them.

I walked backwards still wrapped around Josh's frame, pulling him with me until the back on my knees hit the bed.
I crawled onto the bed pulling him with me and laying down.
I curled up next to him with my head resting on his chest.
I closed my eyes and softly sang him a section of a song a wrote a while ago.. Before I came here.

"I've got two faces,

Blurry's the one I'm not.

I've got two faces,

Blurry's the one I'm not.

I need your help to,

Take him out.

I need your help to,

Take him out.

Though I'm weak,

And beaten down,

I'll slip away,

Into the sound.

The ghost of you,

Is close to me,

I'm inside out,

Your underneath.

Tho I'm weak,

And beaten down,

I'll slip away,

Into the sound.

The ghost of you,

Is close to me,

I'm inside out,

Your underneath.

Don't let me be gone.
Don't let me be gone.

I whispered the last line.
Josh hugged me tightly and kissed the top of my head.
"I won't." he whispered. "We'll beat him... Together... I'll stay with you the whole way and even after. I got you.... I promise."
"A real promise? Not one your going to break?... You'll stay... Even when I get too much?"
"I'll stay."