Undefined (Book #1 Joshler)

CHAPTER 43: Passion. Love. Care.

TYLER'S VIEW ~

(flashback)
{I closed my eyes trying to catch my breath after Josh had pulled blurry away. When I reopened them blurry stood behind Josh with an evil grin. "J- Josh! Look out!" I yelled grabbing onto Josh. Blurry lunged forward at both me and Josh.
Blurry threw Josh across the room, I flinched. Blurry cracked his neck returning his attention back to me. 'WORTHLESS.'
"GO AWAY!"
Blurry reached forward and grabbed my arms.
"STOP! DON'T HURT ME!"
'FINE.'
He turned around and walked toward Josh.
"JOSH!"
I screamed to Josh's almost lifeless figure that laid across the room on the floor.
Blurry picked Josh up by the collar of his shirt and repeatedly punched him, threw him and kicked him.
"JOSH!! NO! STOP! YOUR HURTING HIM! STOP HURTING HIM! STOP HURTING JOSH!!"
Blurry snickered and slammed Josh against the wall, then let Josh's dead body fall to the floor. A pool of blood forming around his body and blood ran down his face.
"JOSH NOO!!"} (End of flashback)

I woke up screaming and crying.
Josh instantly woke up.
He sat up and hugged me tightly.
Dr. Varrence, who had been sleeping in the chair by the bed, woke up as well.
I cried into Josh's shoulder.
"Josh. No. Josh. Please. No. No. No."
I whispered repeatedly, my eyes screwed shut as Josh shushed and rocked me.
I pulled back and quickly pressed my lips to Josh's as more tears fell.
The kiss broke when a sob fell from my lips.
Josh pulled me back against his chest.
"Shh. Shhh. I got you Tyler. Your okay I got you."
I cried for about another hour or two.

When I stopped I just laid there.
I wanted to cry more.
I couldn't though.
Josh pulled back slightly and looked at me.
I made eye contact for a brief moment before I pulled Josh back closer to me.
"Tyler? I'm not going to bother asking if your okay cause your clearly not but do you want anything?"
I didn't answer her.
Her voice was a little unnerving to me.
All I wanted was to be as close as possible to Josh. The only voice I wanted to hear was Josh's.
"Do you want some water? You've been doing a lot of screaming and crying your throat must be sore."
Josh's whispered in my ear.
I nodded slightly.
"Water."
Josh told Dr. Varrence and she got up to go get it.
I drank it once she got back then went back to the position I was in.

"Tyler.. I need to use the bathroom."
I shook my head no and tightened my arms.
"Please I'll be right back I promise."
"No. Don't leave. You can't leave. Don't leave Josh. I can't lose you again. Please. He'll hurt you Josh. Don't go. I don't want him to hurt you again."
"No ones going to hurt me.. Do you want to come?"
I nodded.
I don't want to leave Josh.
I feel like if he leaves I'll lose him.
I feel like if I let go he'll fade away.
I can't let that happen. I need Josh.
Josh stood up and set me down on the bed.
Well he tried to.
I wouldn't let go of him.
"No Josh! Don't leave me!"
"Hey hey hey shh. I'm not leaving. I was putting you down so you can get on my back. It'll be easier to carry you that way."
I nodded and let him ease me onto the bed he turned around and I quickly jumped on his back without warning and clung to him again.
He put his hands under my legs and hiked me up a bit.
"You okay?"
I nodded with my cheek pressed to his back.
We walked to the bathroom, Josh did his business and we walked back to the room.

Dr. Varrence was still there.
I laid down on Josh's chest with my eyes closed.
"Do either of you want to talk about what happened? It seemed to effect the both of you greatly."
"Tyler was freaking out... He was choking himself when I woke up and then he kept yelling for something not to hurt me. I was telling him nothing was hurting me but it seemed like he couldn't hear me.. I don't know what was going on in his head or why it started though."
Dr. Varrence looked at me expectantly.
"Blurry killed Josh."
Josh looked down at me with wide but concerned eyes as did Dr. Varrence.
"H-he threw him a-and hit him and k-kicked him until he died and I watched. I-i sat and watched."
I don't know I was capable of crying anymore but apparently I am as fresh tears streaked my cheeks.
"I-i couldn't move I couldn't stop h-him. He wouldn't stop. I-i I watched you die Josh."
I couldn't stop myself from talking, everything just poured out.
"I watched as y-your lifeless body was thrown a-around t-the room. I w-watched your blood splatter the walls. I watched as you l-laid on the ground in a pool of your own b-blood. I just watched."
I was shaking.
"I-i didn't do anything to help Josh. I just l-let it happen. I-"
"Shh. It's okay. Look I'm okay. I'm still here. It wasn't real okay?"
"But it felt so real Josh."
"It was just in your imagination. I'm not dead Tyler. I'm right here. I'm. Right. Here. Okay?"
I nodded.
"Hallucinations.. Interesting. Why did you ever tell us you were hallucinating?"
"They don't feel like hallucinations. They feel real. They feel so real."
"That's usually how it goes. I understand why you won't let Josh go now."
I Pressed into Josh more.
"It's okay Ty. I'm not going anywhere. I promise."
"I need you Josh. You can't leave. You can't leave me. I love you. Please don't leave me. Don't make me regret trusting people again. Please."
"I'm not going anywhere Tyler. I'm staying right here. With you. I love you too. I'm not going leave."
I sat up a bit and kissed Josh again.
Three words can describe the kiss.

Passion.

Love.

Care.