Undefined (Book #1 Joshler)

CHAPTER 54: Anger Management

I woke up in a panic attack.
What am I panicking about?
Most likely the events that will start to undergo today.
The anger management and such.
Josh woke up.

"What?! Whats wrong?!"
He asked putting a hand on my back.
"No don't touch me!"
I ran off the bed.
I stood staring at Josh.
Dr. James words from yesterday replayed in my head.
'you need to accept the help.'
Okay.
I took a deep breath and crawled back on the bed.
"what are you doing?"
I crawled onto Josh's lap.
"I'm sorry. I-i need t-to accept the h-help right?"
"Yes."
I leaned into him and he wrapped his arms around me and gently rocked back and forth while playing with my hair.
Stay calm.
Stay calm.
Calm down.
Relax.
Calm down.
I gripped Josh's shirt.
"Relax Tyler. Your okay. Just breathe."
I nodded.
Breathe.
In.
Out.
In.
Out.
I cant.
"Josh. I can't. I can't breathe."
"Shh shh just try. Come on breathe with me. In. Out."
I followed along with him until I could breathe properly then I closed my eyes.
I'm tired now.
"You okay?"
I nodded.
"What was wrong?"
"Just scared."
"Of?"
"Today."
"Oh I see."
"Whens Dr. James getting here?"
"Soon."
"So I can't sleep?"
"No go ahead I'll wake you when he gets here."
"Okay."
"I love you Tyler." he whispered.
"I love you too."

°~°

"Tyler..? Tyler wake up." Josh gently shook my shoulder.
"Hm."
"Dr. James is here. He wants to get started."
"Mmmm." I whined.
"Come on."
"MMMmmm."
"Come Tyler."
"I'll cum... down your throat."
"Tyler!"
I rolled my eyes and forced myself up.
Dr. James made us follow him down the hall to his office.
Okay so were doing this in here.

I plopped down in the chair next to Josh's.
"Okay so lets get started. I'm going to ask you some questions then once were done I've set up for you to go to an anger management class with a few other people here."
"Does there have to be other people?"
"Would you rather a private class?"
I shrugged.
"Just see how you like it today and if you decide on private classes then I'll arrange it."
"Okay."
"Alrighty then first question of the day. Why are you scared for today?"
I looked at Josh. Josh must have told him about this morning.
"I don't know I just felt scared."
"Why?"
"I...I'm scared I won't be able to do it. I guess."
"You'll be fine don't worry."
"Okay."
"Second Josh told me this morning you accepted his help. Did you feel it was easier to calm down that way?"
I nodded.
"Good, good."
This went on for another few minutes then Dr. James led us to a different room.
There was about 7 other people in the room all sitting in a circle.
"Oh yes you must be Tyler." one of the people spoke.
"Yep this is Tyler."
"Hi Tyler my names Jason." this 'Jason' dude stuck his hand out for me to shake.
I just stared at it for a few seconds before looking up at him.
He awkwardly pulled his hand away.
"Okay well why don't you go grab a seat and we'll get started. There's an empty one right over there."
I looked at Dr. James then at Josh.
"You don't stay with me?" I asked.
He looked up at Dr. James and that Jason dude.
I don't like Jason.
"I guess not."
"I want to go back to the room."
"Come on Tyler just give it a try at least."
"You'll be okay."
I nodded and slowly took a seat.
Everyone was staring at me.
I felt the need to just beat the shit out of them all.
I gripped the edge of the chair.
"Alright why don't we go around and say our names and say a little something about ourselves so we can all get to know each other? Nathan why don't you go first?"
A dude that was sitting to the right of me cleared his throat.
"Hi I'm Nathan. I like to draw."
In unison everyone in the room, except me, said 'hi Nathan.'
"Tyler want to go next?"
I looked around at everyone they were staring at me again.
I clenched my jaw.
"Hi my names Tyler and I find amusement in causing other people bodily harm." I said in an overly happy voice.
Everyone's eyes widened, Nathan and the girl that was sitting next to me moved their chairs further away from me.
There it is.
That look that I absolutely adore.
The look of pure fear.
"Okay Tyler when I said something about yourself I meant something you like to do. Like a hobby or something."
"Yes I know."
He swallowed thickly, I watched as his throat move.
I wish I had my hands around his neck.
I gripped the edge of the chair tighter.
I need to relax.

I tried to but then two people on the other side of the room started whispering to each other and snickering. It being pointed toward me.
I snapped.
"WHATS SO FUNNY HUH?!"
I stood up abruptly.
They instantly shut up.
"I ASKED A QUESTION!"
"N-nothing nothings funny."  one of them replied.
"Tyler calm down It's okay."
I ran at Jason tackling him off the chair and repeatedly hitting him in the face.
Dr. James and security ran in the guards escorted the other people out of the room so they don't get hurt while Dr. James was trying to get me to listen to him.
One hand was wrapped tightly around Jason's throat while the other laid punch after punch to his face.
"Tyler. Tyler calm down. Listen to me. You need to calm down and you need to let Jason go."
The hand that I was punching with dropped down to Jason's neck as well as I applied as much pressure as I could.
"Tyler! Stop!"
I couldn't think straight.
I knew I should stop but I wanted this so bad.
So so bad.
Josh ran in.
"Tyler. Tyler its okay calm down. Relax. Tyler listen to me."
Jason started to fall unconscious.
"Tyler relax."
Relax.
Calm down.
Stop this.
I took a deep breath and let Dr. James pry me away from Jason's throat.
Josh latched his arms around me.
I closed my eyes.
I could hear Jason gasping for air.

I buried my face in Josh's arms.
"I want it. I want it. I want it. I want it so bad."
"Shh shh."
I bit into the fabric of Josh's sweater.
"I want it Josh I want it."
"Shhh it's okay."
I could hear my heart beating in my ears.
I let my muscles relax.
"Okay Tyler come with me." Dr. James said.
I stood up two guards grabbed my arms and they took me out of the room and led me to a different room that I've never been in before.