Undefined (Book #1 Joshler)

CHAPTER 34: Let Him Explain

TYLER'S VIEW ~

I haven't seen Josh for a few weeks.
He left for his court thingy and didn't come back.
I asked Kenny to call him countless times, there was no answer.
I'm worried.
Did he forget about me?
Of course he didn't.
But what if he did?
What if he doesn't care anymore?
What if he's tired of waiting?
What if he never did care?
What if he never did love me?
What if it was all lies?

I lay on my bed starring at the white painted ceiling as more 'what ifs' flowed through my mind.
I need to talk to someone before I go insane.
I haven't talked to anyone in about four days.
I refused to, but now I'm regretting it.
I drag myself to the buzzer and press it a few times before sitting back on the bed.

"Yes Tyler?" Kenny asked once he arrived.
"I don't know.. I need to talk to someone."
"About what?"
"I don't really care at this point.. I just can't keep listening to my thoughts."
"I see."
"Talk to me... Please."
"I don't know what to talk about."
"Anything. Talk about anything. Distract me. Please. I-i can't fall back again. I need to get out of here and if I break down their not going to let me leave. So please talk to me."
"Uh.. Um.. So you like to write songs?"
"Yes but that's not helping right now."
"Oh okay.. Um.."
"Your not very good at this are you?"
"Not really... I can go see if Dr. Varrence can come in if you want to talk to her."
"Okay.. Go get her."
"Okay."
Kenny left to go find Dr. Varrence.
He came back with her shortly after.
Kenny then left me and Dr. Varrence alone.

"Hey Tyler." Dr. Varrence spoke.
"Hi."
"Are you okay?"
"No."
"Want to talk about it?"
"No! No.. I can't.. I don't want to think about it any more. Just.. Talk to me."
"About what?"
"Anything."
"Well why don't you ask me some questions? You know like you did the first day we met?"
I nodded.
"Uh... Whats your first name?"
"Lacey."
"Really?"
"Yep."
"Cool.. Uh.. Have any pets?"
"I have a dog."
"Whats its name?"
"Jack."
"What breed?"
"Golden retriever."
"Their cute."
"Yes they are."
"....did Josh lie to me? Does he hate me? Did he leave me? Did he-"
"I don't know Tyler."
"Yes you do!"
"I don't."
"Your lying!"
"I'm not."
"....I'm Sorry.. Don't tell them I yelled.. Please..."
"I won't."
"Thank you."
She nodded.

"Tyler?"
"Yeah?"
"Is blurry back?"
"..no."
"Okay."
"Sometimes I wish he was though.."
"Why is that?"
"Cause I keep asking myself questions then those questions just echo in my head over and over.... But if blurry was there he would answer them.. The answers may not be true but its something I guess."
"Are the questions about Josh?"
"Yes."
"Okay. You stay here."
"Well I can't really leave..but um where are you going?"
"I'm going to find out where Josh is."
"You are?"
"Yes."
"Okay.. Thank you."
"Your welcome."

Dr. Varrence left, leaving me alone again.
I still needed to distract myself so I did what I used to to.
I named the qualities of the room.

The room, silent, except for the faint sound the fan was making.
The air, not cold but not warm either, comfortable.
Walls, painted white.
Floor, a grey cement.
The smell, still undefined, it smells like something but I just can't name it.
My mind, it's hard to explain, it's loud, but at the same time it's sickenly quiet.

°~°

I don't even remember going to sleep but Dr. Varrence just woke me up.
"Josh is here."
My eyes widened and I sprung from the bed and ran toward the door.
"Tyler!"
I stopped and turned toward her.
"What?"
"He'll come in here but before he does.. Just.. Let him explain when he comes in okay? Don't get mad at him for leaving like he did... Let him talk."
"....okay..."
She nodded and left the room.
I sat on the bed and starred at the floor until I heard the door being opened again.
I instantly looked up and seen Josh.

I stared wide eyed at him, mouth slightly agape.
He gave a sad smile then looked down at the floor.
"Jo-"
"I know."
"But wha-"
"Shh."
He slowly walked over to the bed and pulled me up for a hug.
I clung to him tightly.
"Josh what happened?" I whispered the picture of his bruised face not leaving my mind.
"Shh.. Just for a few minutes.. Then I'll explain."
I nodded.