Undefined (Book #1 Joshler)

CHAPTER 8: I Like You, Like You

I woke up a few hours later. Just in time for visiting hours. The guards took me to the visiting room. I was supposed to go to the exercise area but its raining so they couldn't let me go out. I sat at my table and watched everyone as they talked to each other.

Josh walked in after a few minutes. He smiled at me and I smiled back. He walked over to a lady that I know as Julie and sat down. Julie is one of the people that are stuck here just like me. I've only talked to her once and it was at meal time a few months back.
I watched as Josh talked with her.
He would laugh from time to time. I love his smile.

After a while Josh got up and gave her a hug before walking over to me.
"Hi." he said as he sat down.
"Hi."
"Did you sleep okay last night? You look tired."
"Well no... I was up all night.. I just woke up from a 4 hour nap though."
"Oh why couldn't you sleep?"
"Um ... Blurryface."
"What?"
"Blurryface kept me up... He's the voice in my head. He kept yelling at me."
"Oh..."
"How do you know Julie?"
"Julie? Oh um she's my friends girlfriend.. My friend was sick that's why I've been coming... He'll be coming back tomorrow tho."
"... So that means I'm not going to see you anymore?"
"Um... I-"
"That makes me sad.... I like talking to you.... You make me happy, which is a hard thing to do."
He sighed. "I know... You make me happy too... I've been using my friends car to get here... Maybe he can take me with him when he comes."
"Wait... Your gonna keep coming just to see me?"
"Yes."
"Why?... You don't have too... If you feel like you do because you don't want to upset me you really don't have to... I know how annoying and how worthless I am so you don't have to pretend I'm not."
"You're not worthless Tyler don't say that... Please don't say that."
"But I am... Blurry says I am."
"Well he's wrong don't listen to him. If anyone's worthless here its me. I can't get a job. My family doesn't want anything to do with me. I serve no purpose and the only time anyone talks to me is if they want something from me."
"Your not worthless tho.... I'm talking to you... I don't want anything from you.....  And you serve lots of purpose... You make me happy that's something."
He smiled.
"Thank you... You make me happy too.... And your not worthless either so don't listen to blurry when he says stuff like that okay?"
"Okay."
"I really like you Tyler."
"I like you too."
"No I mean ... I really like you."
"I don't understand."
"...I um ... I like you, like you."
"Ohhhh you mean like your attracted to me?"
"I uh... Um I.. Y-yea..... I-I hope you don't mind or find it weird or anything."
"No its okay.. Me too."
"You too? What do you mean?"
"I... I like you, like you too."
"Really?"
"Mmhmmm." I nodded my head.
He smiled. It was one of my favorite ways that he smiled. His eyes would crinkle and his teeth would show, his tongue in between his teeth. It was a smile of pure happiness.
His smile caused me to smile.
The buzzer went off signalling visiting hours were over.
"Awww I don't want you to go."
"I don't want to go either but if I don't the guards will probably tackle me" he said with a slight laugh.
"Yeah probably... Are you going to come tomorrow?"
"I'll see if my friend will take me... So I'll see you soon."
"Okay.. Bye."
"Bye."

The guards took me back to my room and Dr. Varrence came in.
"Hello Tyler... Did you get some sleep?"
I wasn't really paying attention, I was daydreaming about Josh.
"Tyler?"
"Hmm what?"
"Did you get some sleep?"
"Yeah."
"Are you okay? You don't seem to be all here..."
"Hmm oh yeah I'm great."
"Oh.. So is there anything in particular you want to talk about?"
"Yes."
"Okay what is it?"
"I think I'm gay."
"Oh. Why do you think that?"
"Because at visiting hours I talked to Josh and he said he liked me, liked me like in a way that he's attracted to me and I feel the same way about him."
"Oh so you have a crush on Josh."
"Yeah.... There's nothing wrong with liking boys tho right?"
"Nope it's perfectly fine."
"Cool."
"Is there anything else you want to talk about."
"Yes."
"Okay what?"
"Josh. I want to talk about Josh."
"....okay."
"I really like Josh. He's super nice and caring and funny. He makes me happy... But I don't think my mom likes him... When I brought him up the other day she seemed to disapprove of him."
"I'm sure its just because she hasn't met him."
"Maybe."
It was quiet for a few minutes.

"Can we talk about this morning and blurryface?"
"... I don't know... If I do I'll be opening up to you and I can't do that."
"Look Tyler I can't help you if you don't tell me things."
"But what if I do tell you things and you still can't help?"
"Then we'll try harder."
"What if I scare you away? I don't want you to leave I like you... Your my favorite therapist that I've ever had. I don't want to scare you away."
"You won't scare me away. Also I'm glad you like me so much."
"Do you promise not to leave if I promise to tell you things?"
"I promise."
"Okay... Can we start tomorrow? I don't really want to talk about blurry right now... I've had enough of him today."
"Sure... I got some good news."
"What?"
"They agreed on letting you paint the walls."
"Really!?"
"Yep."
"...do you think they would let Josh help?"
"I'm not sure I'll have to ask them... Why do you want Josh to help and not your siblings or parents?"
"Because they don't really understand me and Josh does he knows how boring the room is and I feel like he would be able to make it less boring because he's really creative."
"I see.. I think that'll be a good idea to have some help that way you can have some company while doing it."
I smiled.
"You're the best."
"I try."

Soon Dr. Varrence left and I fell back asleep I was still really tired.