I've been sitting in the visiting room for a while hoping that maybe just maybe Josh will show up. Visiting hours are almost over now.
I frown.
'HE'S NOT HERE BECAUSE HE HATES YOU... HE ONLY USED YOU YESTERDAY.'
'Ugh go away blurry.'
'NO I THINK I'M GOING TO STICK AROUND FOR A WHILE.'
'Nooooooooo.'
I drop my head down into my arms that rested on the table with a groan.
'GET OVER IT.'
'You need to learn how to talk quieter you always give me a headache.'
'GOOD.'
'What do you want anyway?'
'NOTHING I'M JUST BORED.'
I sigh through my nose.
'YOU KNOW THAT JOSH HATES YOU RIGHT? SO DOES DR. VARRENCE AND ALL THE NURSES AND SECURITY THEY ALL HATE YOU.. EVEN YOUR FAMILY HATES YOU.'
'really that's nice.'
I'm not in the mood to fight with him right now so I'm just gonna let him talk.
'THAT'S DIFFERENT.'
'what's different?'
'THE WAY YOU RESPONDED.'
'yeah so?'
'NOTHING.... WHY DON'T WE PLAY A LITTLE GAME?'
'no.'
'AW COME ON IT'LL BE FUN YA PARTY POOPER.'
'fine what is it?'
'IT'S CALLED TYLER HAS AN EPISODE... WHAT DO YOU THINK? WANNA PLAY?'
'not really I'm too tired.'
'YOU SUCK.'
'yeah I know you've told me a million times.'
'SOMEONES MOODY TODAY... ARE YOU ON YOUR PERIOD?'
'I'm a boy.'
'MAN PERIOD?'
'What the heck even is that?'
'I DON'T KNOW.'
'you're annoying.'
'THANK YOU'
'wasn't a compliment asswipe'
'WATCH YOUR MOUTH MISTER.'
The buzzer went off but I was too tired and unmotivated to move so I just sat there with my head in my arms.
'YOUR GONNA GET IN TROUBLE IF YOU DON'T GO BACK TO YOUR ROOM.'
'I don't care.'
'I THINK I LIKE MOODY TYLER MORE THEN REGULAR TYLER.'
'oh do you? That's nice.'
'YEAH I LIKE MOODY TYLER BETTER.'
"Tyler it's time to go back to your room." a security guard said from beside me.
"Cool." I said still not moving.
"That means you have to get up and go."
"Really? I didn't know that. Thanks Sherlock." I said sarcastically.
"I would get rid of the attitude if I were you."
"Or what?"
'DAMN MOODY TYLER IS GREAT.'
The security guard grabbed my arm and pulled me to my feet. I looked at him coldly before turning and walking away. He followed to make sure I actually went to my room.
I didn't.
I went into the cafeteria.
"What are you doing?"
"Getting some water... What am I not allowed to have that either?"
"I'm serious Tyler lose the attitude."
I rolled my eyes and grabbed a glass of water.
'I'M ENJOYING THIS.'
'what do you want a metal or something?'
'ACTUALLY YES THAT'D BE NICE.'
I once again roll my eyes.
I'm done with this stupid shit, I just don't care anymore.
"Okay you got your drink now off to your room."
"What if I don't want to?"
"Tyler." he warned.
"I'm serious what if I don't want to go to my room?"
"It doesn't matter because you have to go."
"That's a stupid answer."
I said walking past him and down the hall to my room.
'I HAVE TO AGREE IT WAS A STUPID ANSWER.'
I didn't go into the room I sat down in the chair outside it.
"What are you doing now?"
"I'm obviously sitting in a chair.. Do you need glasses or something?"
'TYLER THE SASS MASTER BACK AT IT AGAIN.'
"In your room now."
"No I don't want to be in there."
"Well where do you want to be?"
"At home with my family living a normal happy life and being a normal happy teenager but that's not going to happen so I'll settle for sitting in this chair."
The security guard ran his hand down his face.
"Okay seriously whats gotten into you?"
"Nothing. I don't know what your talking about."
"Just go in your room before I go get Dr. James."
"Get him I don't care."
He raised his eyebrows in a surprised manner.
"You know what I will."
"Good for you."
'THIS IS BY FAR THE BEST THING I'VE EVER SEEN.'
'oh.. It thought it was when I almost killed myself?'
'OKAY THAT'S TIED WITH THIS.'
I roll my eyes and adjust my sitting position so I'm slumped back with my legs spread in front of me.
"Tyler whats going on?" Dr. James spoke.
"Not much man what about you?."
"That's not what I meant and you know that."
"How are you supposed to know what I do and don't know? I'm pretty sure you can't read minds."
"No I can't.... Wait whats that?" he said walking into my room.
He came back out with the cup that held my medication that I refused to take this morning.
"It's obviously a cup with medication in it."
"Why haven't you taken your medication Tyler?"
"Uh because I don't want to."
"Why don't you want to?"
"Because."
'*CLAPS* GREAT ANSWER.'
'yeah I know right.'
Dr. James sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose.
'IT'D BE FUNNY IF YOU WERE TO TRIP HIM.'
'it would.'
'DOES THAT MEAN YOUR GONNA DO IT?'
'maybe.' I smirked slightly.
'OOO YOUR GONNA DO IT.'
"I'll be right back."
I put my leg up when he walked by making him fall forward and making the medication in the cup he was holding fly everywhere.
'YES! LOOK AT YOU BEING ALL BAD. I COULD GET USED TO THIS.'
I was trying my best not to laugh and trying to hide my smile.
"Tyler! What did you do that for?!"
"I did it cause your an ass."
"Language Tyler."
"Ooo I said ass what are you gonna do about it? You can't take anything else away from me cause I don't have anything left! You took the last thing that could make me happy along with all the other stuff!"
'I THOUGHT YOU SAID YOU WERE TOO TIRED FOR AN EPISODE?'
'yeah well I changed my mind.'
"Tyler listen." I stood up.
"No you listen! You don't understand what its like being locked up in that room 95% of the time with nothing to do! You don't understand what it's like having a voice constantly yelling at you from inside your own head! You don't understand what it's like being under constant surveillance or having headaches every morning when you wake up! Okay you don't understand that the things you take away from me are distractions! I use them to distract myself from my thoughts cause my thoughts are scary! But I don't have any distractions left so I'm forced to deal with my thoughts! And everyone's putting me under so much pressure to get better and I can't do it! I just can't! I'm past saving!"
"Calm down Tyler."
"No! God! You can't just solve everything by telling me to calm down! Whenever I have an episode all I hear is 'calm down Tyler' what you think I haven't tried that?! It's not that easy! I can't just snap my fingers and be better! I'm sorry but I can't! I'm not a wizard!"
'IT'D BE COOL IF YOU WERE THO.'
'SHUT UP!'
"Why don't you sit down and take a breather?"
"Take a breather?! What the hell!?! Here I am telling you stuff about me and what I go through and you tell me to take a breather?!?
You're supposed to help me that's why I'm here so you can help me but I've been here for what a year or more? And it only seems like I'm getting worse! I've been having episodes more frequently and I don't know why but I do know that when I have them I get scared because I never would have thought I could get so angry and I can't even stop myself when I have them which is even scarier! I'm terrified of myself! Do you know what that's like!?"
"Well no I don't."
"Exactly."
I was crying by now.
'HOLY SHIT TYLER CHILL.'
'YOU CHILL! DON'T YOU DARE TELL ME TO CHILL!'
'I'M TRYING TO BE NICE FOR ONCE.'
'Good for you does it look like I care?'
"I'm going to bed I want to be alone if anyone comes in at all tonight I'm going to flip. And I don't want anyone outside the door. If I find out that there is you won't like the outcome."
I walked into my room and slammed the door behind me.
I crawled into my bed and fell asleep almost immediately.
I'm done with everyone's bullshit.
They better get used to this version of Tyler cause he's not going anywhere.
YOU ARE READING
Undefined (Book #1 Joshler)
FanfictionI've been here for a while, in this same building. Most of my time spent in my room, alone. Everyday I repeat the same routine. The same boring qualities, just different days. I've come to love these qualities as boring as they are. I don't like cha...
