Undefined (Book #1 Joshler)

CHAPTER 27: Privacy

TYLER'S VIEW ~

The last time I saw Josh was two weeks ago.
Is he mad at me?
Is he mad because of what I did?
I miss him.
I need him here. Now.
Now especially.
I'm scared.
Blurrys back.
Todays the first day he's been back since he made a physical appearance.
He's still just a voice right now and I want it to stay that way.
I repeatedly press the buzzer, on the verge of crying.
A guard quickly comes to the room.
"Yes Tyler? What do you need?"
"Josh. I need Josh. Please."
"Okay I'll go call him."
"Thank you."
"Your welcome."

I sat on my bed.
'HE'S NOT GOING TO COME TYLER.'
'yes he is.'
'NO HE ISN'T. HE HATES YOU. WHY ELSE WOULD HE STOP VISITING YOU? TWO WEEKS TYLER. IT'S BEEN TWO WEEKS. HAS NOT COMING BACK.'
'shut up'
'NO.'
"JOSH!"
'HE'S NOT HERE AND HE'S NOT COMING!'
"JOSH! PLEASE!"
'HE HATES YOU AND YOU KNOW IT. HE JUST USED YOU. USED YOU FOR PLEASURE AND THREW YOU ASIDE!'
"NO! SHUT UP! DON'T SAY THAT!"
'YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE.'
"IT'S NOT!"
'YOUR NOTHING TYLER! JUST A WORTHLESS OBJECT!'
"NOOO!"
'YES.'
I ran my hands through my hair and pulled on the short tangled strands.
I let a sob escape.

"Tyler?"
"JOSH!"
I ran over to him and clung to him tightly.
"Tyler.. I can't breathe."
I loosened my grip but still kept my arms locked around him.
"Thank you."
He gently put him arms around me.
'HE DOESN'T CARE ABOUT YOU REMEMBER? HE LEFT YOU FOR TWO WEEKS!'
I pushed Josh away.
He gave me a confused look.
"Where were you?!"
"... At your house."
"Why did you leave me?!"
"I didn't leave you."
"You didn't come see me for two weeks Josh!"
"..has it really been that long?"
He rubbed the back of his neck.
"YES!"
"I'm sorry."
'NO HE ISN'T!'
"No your not!"
"Tyler I-"
"No!"
"Listen."
"No."
I crossed my arms and glared angrily at him.
"Please just listen?"
"I don't want to."
"I need to tell you what happened."
"Some stupid excuse isn't going to make me forgive you."
"It's not an excuse. Please Tyler?"
"Fine."
He slowly walked to to the bed and sat down.
He held his head in his hands and started crying.
I softened a bit and walked to him.

"Josh? Whats wrong?"
"I hate myself."
"No. Don't say that."
"I do."
"No. Don't hate yourself. Please."
"But I do."
"Why?"
"I was getting ice cream with your family the day I left last and we ran into my parents and they started yelling at me in public and telling me how worthless I am... They humiliated me in front of everyone and I just felt really shitty after they left and I left your family without a word and went to a bar and got drunk. I was doing so good Ty. Then I ruined it."
"Have you been drunk these last two weeks?"
"Yeah." he said through a sob.
"I didn't even realise it had been two weeks til you told me a few minutes ago."
"It's okay Josh."
"No it's not!"
His yelling took me back for a second.
Then I hugged him.
"What am I doing? I came here to comfort you. Not rant about my stupid problems."
"It's okay. Your problems aren't stupid."
"I'm sorry."
"...for what?"
"Being an idiot."
"Your not a idiot. Stop it."
"Sorry."
"Its okay.."
"I would have come to visit more but I just wanted to forget everything and did some stupid stuff."
".... Can I kiss you?"
"This is the same as the hand holding stuff Ty. You don't have to ask."
He laughed lightly.
"Okay."

I crawled onto his lap and kissed him.
'STOP! YOU HATE HIM! HE LEFT YOU!  EVERYTHING HE'S SAID IS A LIE!'
'no it's not.'
'HE HATES YOU!'
'no he doesn't."
'YES HE DOES!!!'
'nope.'
I deepened the kiss.
'STOP! LISTEN TO ME!'
'no.'
'TYLER! DON'T MAKE ME PAY YOU A PHYSICAL VISIT!'
'Go away. I'm not listening to you.'
'YOU haVE tO!'
"No."
I started moving my hips.
"Tyler no. The camera."
"It's broke."
"How?"
"I got mad."
"Oh. So it doesn't work?"
"Nope."
"Cool."
Josh reconnected our mouths.
"Can I touch you?"
"Yes.. Please."
Josh gently started rubbing his hand against my crotch.
'TYleR!'
"More." I whispered.
Josh obeyed and quickened the pace slightly.
'TYlEr! SToP!'
Josh's phone rang.
He sighed and went to grab it.
I grabbed his hand guiding it back.
"Ignore it."
'tYlER I sWeaR! i'M GiVing YoU thRee SecOnds To stOp!'
Josh started sucking on my neck.
'oNe!'
Josh slipped his hand under the waistband of my pants and palmed me through my underwear.
'TwO!'
I reached down to Josh's crotch.
'THreE!'
I seen blurry out of the corner if my eye. He smirked and walked toward me and Josh.
I ignored him, continuing with what I was doing.
'LOok aT mE!'
I ignored him.
'tYLEr.'

Josh slipped his hand under my underwear next.
"Mmm."
'TyLer! StOp ignoRinG mE!'
Josh laid me down on my back and kissed me again.
"I love you."
"I love you too."
Blurry was gone now.
I didn't see him.
I didn't hear him.

(A/N ~ aanndddd time skip til when their done cause I can. XD)

"Josh?"
I asked breathlessly.
"Yeah?"
"When do you leave?"
"I'm not sure. Do you want to go shower?"
"I guess."
We both got showers then got something to eat.

By the time we got back to my room Josh had to leave.
"Don't go. Please."
"I have to."
"Then take me with you."
"I wish I could."
"Please. I hate it here."
"I know. I'll come back tomorrow."
"Okay."
He gave me a quick kiss and was out the door.

'DID YOU REALLY THINK I WOULD BE GONE THAT EASY!!!!?????'
'huh? I thought you left.'
'NO I JUST DECIDED TO GIVE YOU PRIVACY!'
'....oh..'
'YOU IGNORING ME MADE ME VERY MAD!!!'
'sorry.'
Blurry appeared in front of me.
An angry look on his face.