Undefined (Book #1 Joshler)

CHAPTER 26: Awkward

JOSH'S VIEW ~

I'm back at Tyler's old house now.
I'm extremely nervous.
I feel like somehow Tyler's parents know what we did and that their gonna yell at me for it.
Though I'm almost positive there's no way they could know, I'm still nervous.
I didn't even say hi to them when I got back I just went straight to the bedroom and closed the door behind me.
I've been back for an hour and haven't left the room.
I guess Mrs. Joseph got worried.

"Josh? Are you okay? You've been locked in the room since you got back... Did something happen?"
"Oh um... I um.."
"Can I come in?"
I nodded. Then I realised she can't see me.
"Uh yeah."
She slowly opened the door and came in, shutting it behind her and sitting on the end of the bed.
"So are you okay?"
"Uh.. Yes."
"Are you sure?"
"....yes?"
"You don't sound sure."
"...uhh.."
"You can talk to me you know."
"..yeah I know.."
"Did something happen between you and Tyler?"
Shit she knows.
"Um.. No... What are you talking about?... Nothing happened."
"Something happened."
" what? no."
"Did Tyler have a episode or something?"
"No."
"Then what happened? I can tell There's something that's bothering you."
"Umm... I umm.... I..."
I thought for a moment.
"...withdrawals I guess..."
I lied.

She squinted her eyes at me.
"There's something your not telling me."
I felt my breathing increase.
"I um.."
"Is it something bad? Like is it something that you could like get arrested for or something?"
"... No... I don't think... Could I?"
I asked myself more then Mrs. Joseph.
"Well what did you do?"
".....umm I uh.."
"I can't help if you won't tell me whats going on."
"But that's the thing I cant tell you... You'll be mad."
I didn't mean to say that out loud.
"Mad about what?"
I stared at her wide eyed.
"Josh?"
"... I'm sorry."
"Sorry? For what?"
"I did something.... Well me and Tyler did something.. And I'm sorry.. I didn't want to.. Wait no I did want to but.. I don't know."
".... What are you talking about sweetheart?"
"Your gonna be mad at me."
" no I won't."
I closed my eyes and sighed shakily.
"For the last while... Ever since you gave Tyler the 'talk' he's been... Curious I guess and he would try to do things with me but I would stop him before he took it too far. But this morning... I didn't...."
"So you guys had sex?"
I almost choked on my own spit at how casually she said that.
"No! God no.. We just kinda.. I don't know what you would call it..."
"Well what did you do? Like what happened?"
Is she really asking for details on how me and her son pleasured each other?

"Oh um.. Well.. Uh.."
"You don't need to be uncomfortable.."
"I know.. It's just.. Kinda weird talking about it.. With.. Well you."
"Understandable."
"Um.. Well Tyler was like.. Grinding? Is that the term.. On me and..uh.. Yeah"
"Oh okay."
"... You don't seem mad."
"I'm not."
"...your not?"
"Nope. I figured after we told him he would be curious."
"Oh.."
"Now Tyler's dad.. That's a different story.. He'll probably be a little mad. Not too mad though. I'll talk to him."
"... If it helps, before we actually did. I kept telling him no because I didn't want to get in trouble. But then he moved the camera and I was already.. Um... Hard.. And yeah..."
"It's okay sweetheart don't worry about it. Your a teenage boy. So is Tyler. Teenagers tend to do those things."
"..yeah.."
"Are you hungry?"
"..oh um.. Not really."
"Okay."
We sat in an awkward silence for a few moments.
Mrs. Joseph scanned the room.

"...where's Tyler's notebook?"
I stared at her light a deer caught in headlights... Was I not supposed to give it to Tyler?
"....uhh."
"Josh?"
" I um.. Gave it to Tyler.."
"....why?"
"..he asked me to get it for him.. He was upset that we read it."
"Oh.. I see."
"Um ..are you mad?"
"No no no it's his notebook."
I nodded.
Tyler's dad walked in.
"Hunny do you know where my wallet is?"
"Did you check your work pants?"
"No but I bet that's where it's at."
"Most likely but before you go Josh has something to tell you."
What? No! Whyyy?
"Um.. I uh."
"You what?"
"Uh.."
"Oh for heavens sake just tell him."
"Uh me and Tyler.."
"Josh and Tyler participated in sexual activities together.. Not actual sex though."
"What!?"
"It's not a big deal."
"I guess your right.."
"I'm.. Uh sorry.."
"It's fine. It was gonna happen sooner or later right?"
"..I guess."
Mr. Joseph left.
"He took that really well."
I nodded.
Mrs. Joseph left.

Now it's just me.
Me and my thoughts.
Fun.
Not really.
The only thing my brain can seem to think about is Tyler and how damn good he made me feel this morning... And the way his head was thrown back... And his lips.. And his body, he didn't have his shirt on when we were doing it and he looked beautiful.. And God the noises he made.
No no no. I need to stop. I can't think about that stuff right now.
But the way his mouth hung open just the slightest so you could just see the tips of his teeth.... and the way he moved his hips... and how sweat covered his skin and glistened in the light.
No I need to stop. Tyler's family is just downstairs.
Think about something gross.
People puking.. Spoiled milk... Moldy foods... Snots.. Touching wet food while washing dishes...
But Tyler... and his tanned skin... and...
No.

I was having a internal battle with myself and decided I should just sleep.

°~°

Sleeping didn't help with the problem I'm currently having.
It only made things worse, due to explicit dreams of Tyler.
I groan and roll onto my stomach with my hands between my thighs.

"Josh I'm taking the kids for ice cream want to come?"
Mrs. Joseph barged in.
I panicked.
"Um sure."
Why did I say that? I can't. Not with the problem that would be very obvious if I were to stand up.
"Okay... That means you have to get up."
"Uhh.. I can't.."
"Why not?"
"...um.... I don't have a good excuse."
"... Okay... So your not coming?"
"I want ice cream though."
"So your coming?"
"Ugh."
"Are you okay?"
"Uh.. Yeah... Just.. Can I have a few minutes?"
"...sure.. We'll be waiting downstairs."
"Mkay."
I sat up and thought about the most disgusting things that I possibly could and eventually I didn't have a problem anymore.
I got up and ran down the stairs so they wouldn't be waiting any longer.

"You okay?"
"Mhm."
"...what were you doing?"
"..nothing."
"...okay then.."
God what's with all the awkward conversations today.