Unexplainable [Original Version]

[chapter twelve: "down"]

Chapter 12: "Down"
Scott Hall's POV

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I take one final look at my house before slamming my trunk and walking over to the driver's side of my car. It's been a long weekend, but damn, it's been good. I can't remember when the last time I got keep Cody for so long was, but I like to think we made the most of every minute. We went to the park, to the movies, I took him to get some nice ice cream...

It was just a good time, the kind that I cherish one-hundred percent. I mean, he's my pride and joy. It doesn't matter if I'm just getting him for a couple of days like usual, or several like this time. I love my lil' Codster.

Once I've set the radio and all that, I head on out on the road. Where I was pretty busy this weekend, Kev, Kid, and Joli went ahead and got our hotel room and rental for the week taken care. I'm really lucky to have as solid of a group as I have, aren't I? If I need any help from any of them, they're always right there without the slightest bit of hesitation. A lot of people don't have that.

Then again, I just feel so damn off today. I shouldn't, and I know I shouldn't, but I do. It's like my head isn't in the right place, for whatever reason. I had a great weekend and I know I'm going to have a great time on the road, so really, why does it have to be like this?

I'm happy. I'm healthy. I have a handsome young son. My friends are the absolute best in the entire fuckin' world.

But I'm down. I'm not feeling myself. It's like things just aren't right in me today, and for the life of me I don't know why.

It happens sometimes, I know; or at least, I've felt this way before. I've gone through many different days where I'm not at the top of my game because my mind has gotten clouded, but I've always pushed on through anyway. I don't feel absolutely horrible today, so I think that's a positive. There have been many, many days where I've been a lot worse off than I am now.

I really don't want to go back to that. Times got pretty bad on occasion back in the WWF, a couple of years in. I did a lot of things I'm not proud of, but I've come back from that. I'm not going to fall that deep again; I can't. I shouldn't have let it happen then, but I didn't know how to deal with it. My mind has got the better of me far too many times now and I'm not going to allow that to continue.

I just hope this isn't a common reoccurrence. I thought I had grown past all of this sad bullshit and these dark thoughts, but whoops, looks like they're trying to make a comeback. I'm in a better place now than I was back then. I'm in a less strenuous job and I'm making a hell of a lot more money. I mean, shit, I miss Shawn and Paul, but Kev, Joli, and Kid keep me going.

I'm better. My life is better. I know that for a fact. I just shouldn't feel this way.

As I stop at an intersection, I lean my head back against the headrest and let out a long sigh. I'm trying to cheer myself up today, but I can't shake this damn feeling. It's like someone's holding a blanket over my head and stopping as much happiness from coming through as possible. It's physically draining, feeling like this. At least I'll be with the rest of the crew soon, right?

I shouldn't rely on my friends as my big source of happiness, but today, I know they'll be able to help. I'm banking on today not being the beginning of a long line of days where I feel like shit, and honestly, I think that may work if I keep myself occupied enough. I can spend enough time with everyone and clear my mind. It might not be the best idea, but it's what I'm going with.

All right, you know what? I need to stop with this for a while. Thinking this much isn't going to get me anywhere. I turn up the radio before lightly slapping the side of my face, a simple way of telling myself to get over it and focus on the road. With another, smaller sigh, I lose myself in the music and continue on my journey.