Unexplainable [Original Version]

[chapter sixty-nine: "wcw's decline"]

Chapter 69: "WCW's Decline"
Jolene Milford's POV

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On a day where everything could easily go wrong, knock on wood, it seems like everything is actually going right.

Well, I partially retract that statement. Everything is going about as right at it could on a Monday night when you're returning on Nitro after being gone for a couple of months. So basically, for me things are going well, but everything else is pretty much a clusterfuck.

After stepping back for a bit, coming back to this place has made me realize how chaotic WCW has become. It hurts me, in a way, because I remember when WCW wasn't like this. Hell, even returning from my ankle injury didn't make me feel like this. Back then, everything was okay.

I love my job. I love some of my coworkers. My employers? Well, I like Ted Turner's money. I'm glad that I'm back, because being on the road with Kev and Scott and Dally and Kim is damn sure better than sitting around the house by myself.

Really, I'd say it has a lot to do with Eric. That's not just me being biased, either, because it seems like this place has been overrun by pricks with a similar attitude to Bischoff. If you kiss his ass, you're sailing high; but, if you're like me and don't put up with his shit, it's harder for you. I don't want to say I'm at the top of Eric's shit list, but I'd say that's a good assumption.

Anyway, it just seems like Nitro is so much less organized now than it used to be. It's just a lot of people bitching and trying to get themselves over to everyone around them. There's not enough room for all of this bullshit.

I've had a damn nice day though, all of the crazy backstage antics aside. I've not seen Eric once, which is always the biggest blessing of all. After Kev chewed him out last night, I guess he really doesn't want to test his luck. Thanks, babe!

In fact, I've barely had to deal with anyone today. I met up with Dallas at the airport, since Kev had a meeting, and we've spent most of the day together. Kim's been written off television for the week, which has sucked, but spending some quality time with my big brother is always nice.

Once Kev finished his shit up, we went on a hunt for Scott. He was just sitting in the locker room, lacing his boots. It was the first time I've seen Scott since my suspension, and he greeted me with open arms.

If only for a brief moment, I felt as though the old, normal Scott was there with me. He seemed to be doing very well, and I believe he was. It made my heart flutter to hug him and laugh with him and show him my tattoo.

I'm... I'm always going to love Scott, aren't I? Goddammit.

There's not a part of me that wishes I weren't with Kev or that things had played out differently for me and my love. Kevin Nash is the best thing to ever happen to me, and I couldn't imagine myself being with anyone but him.

At the same time, I feel as though I'll never be able to completely shake the love I once had for Scott. It stays in the back of my heart, where it belongs, until something like this happens and it returns to the front.

Is it one of those situations where, even when you're with your true love, you never forget the feelings you had for your first love? Who knows?

We hang around with Scott for a while and then I head off to change into my gear for the evening. That's where I find myself currently, in front of a mirror in the women's dressing room by myself.

I mean, there are other ladies in here, but I'm not interested in them. I miss my Kimmy.

Tonight, I'm wearing a pair of nice black jeans and one of our new wolfpac tees. I have it cut into a v-neck, and I've also got one of my nice, spiked bracelets on.