Unexplainable [Original Version]

[chapter twenty: "hypothetically speaking"]

Chapter 20: "Hypothetically Speaking"
Kevin Nash's POV

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Over the past couple of weeks, I've come to conclusions that I'm not entirely sure I'm ready to accept. I've been thinking a lot more than I usually do about a lot of things, but no matter what I'm doing or what I'm thinking about, my mind always goes back to one subject, one person.

Jolene Milford, the woman I'm convinced has stolen my heart.

Fuck, just thinking about it makes my head hurt. Have I really fallen in-love with the woman that I've considered one of my best friends for the past six years?

I think I have, and that complicates everything.

Do I say anything to her? Or do I just keep it to myself? I honestly don't know what I should do. If I tell her and she doesn't feel the same way about me, what am I supposed to do? I don't want to make things weird for her, and I sure as hell don't want to lose her. But if she does have feelings for me, and we do get together, I'll do whatever it takes to make sure she remains mine.

Why is this so complicated? I'm thirty-seven years old, shouldn't I have a better grip on this shit by now? I mean, I probably should, but I've never gotten further than an engagement with a woman, and that obviously ended poorly.

No matter what I do, I don't want to fuck things up with Jolene.

I really miss her right now. This little hotel room seems way too fuckin' empty, without her by my side. Scott being out on a food run doesn't really help.

Maybe I should call Joli for a few minutes, just until Scott gets back? She's going to the doctor in the morning to see when she'll be able to ditch her crutches, so I'm sure she'd love to talk about that.

I'm halfway though dialing Joli's number when Scott comes in, carrying a couple of bags. It's so weird, how little stuff the two of us go through as opposed to when it's us, Joli, and Kid. Two of us are gone, as one's injured and one's been written off for a couple of weeks. Sigh.

"Hey, big guy. Who're you callin'? Joli?" Scott grins as he sits one of the bags down on my bed and the other on his. "Or someone else?"

"I was going to call her, but now you're back. I was bored out of my fuckin' mind, just sitting around here." I chuckle, opening up my bag as Scott sits down and makes himself comfortable.

I'm not really too hungry right now, and the food won't go bad, so I just grab a bottle of water for now and move the bag to the foot of my bed. Scott, on the other hand, starts digging in as soon as his shoes are off.

"Kev?" I must've spaced out, because Scott's voice makes my head snap towards him. "You okay, man?"

"What? I'm fine, my mind has just been spinning lately. Don't really know why." Of course that's bullshit, but what am I supposed to say?

"If you ever want to talk about anything, I'm right here. God knows you've put up with my shit enough over the years, 'least I could do is listen you." Scott's a good guy. I truly couldn't ask for a better best friend.

"That means a lot, man. Thank you."

"No problem."

I turn the television on to some random channel as Scott eats, so that we're not left with the sole sound of him munching on his grub. It also gives me something to focus on, or at least something that can help me fake it. I want to talk to him about this, I just don't know how.

"How much longer do you think it'll be until Joli's able to come back? It shouldn't be too long, should it?" Perfect. Scott's starting a conversation about Joli, so that I don't have to.