Unexplainable [Original Version]

[chapter forty-eight: "maybe then"]

Chapter 48: "Maybe Then"
Scott Hall's POV

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My mind is fuckin' swirling as I sit on the edge of my bed, with my head in one hand and a beer in the other. The stress of all the shit in the company is really starting to tear me down, and I'm just so sick of it all.

I've got to try and talk to Eric. I don't want to, but I need to. Maybe, just fuckin' maybe if I let him know how much this shit is fuckin' killing me, he'll listen.

I mean, I doubt he will, but it's worth a shot, right?

I chug half of my beer before crawling up to the top of my bed and grabbing my house phone. I dial Eric's number, and after a few rings, he picks up.

"Hello?" He greets cheerfully.

"Hey." I say half-heartedly. "Eric, man, we've got to talk. I can't keep this shit up. It's killing me and I-"

"Hold on, let me get comfortable." Eric cuts me off. "We'll be on the phone for a while, I'm sure."

I sit here, just drinking my beer, until Eric gives me the signal to continue. I feel like he's already stalling and it's driving me mad. Why can't he just fuckin' cooperate with me for once?

"I'm just really not happy with the way things are going for me in the company right now, man. I mean, don't get me wrong, the money is amazing and there's no where else that I would rather work. It's just..." I shake my head as it starts to pound. "I feel like everything I'm doing is wrong and it's like I don't have any control over anything."

Honestly, I just want to turn my life over to the bottle, like I have in the past. I just want to say 'fuck it' and fall back into my old habits that have gotten me through everything so far, though really, I don't know if that's a good idea. I don't want to get suspended like Kid; I mean, who knows when he'll be back?

"I'm really not sure what you mean, Scott." Of course you don't. "You've had plenty of control so far. If there's something that you would like to change, please, just let me know. I'll definitely do anything that I can to help you out!"

I feel like he's just saying whatever he can to try and please me. I'm starting to feel like calling Eric was a bad idea. Fuck.

"We have to drop this angle between me and Joli. I know you're going to try and talk me out of this, and I know you're going to want me to shut up and stop bitching, but you've got to listen to me for just this once, okay? I have a lot of shit I need to say." I don't know how much he'll actually listen to me, but I have to get this out there.

"Say whatever you need to say, Scott." He's acting like he's such a fucking good guy. "I'm listening."

Here goes nothing, I guess. I take a deep breath before I start rambling off my feelings to my shitty 'boss.'

"Ever since Joli and I started this shitty kayfabe relationship, I feel like there's been some sort of fuckin' wedge driven between me and Joli and Kev. It's like I'm a constant source of frustration and aggravation to them, and I know I'm doing them more harm than good. Everything that was once okay in our friendship seems to have just gotten thrown out the window the moment you had me first kiss Joli on camera. It's stupid. I feel like each and every day, I die a little more inside."

I pause for a moment to gather my thoughts, so Eric pipes in, "I didn't know you felt this way, Scott."

"You didn't- Man, how could you not? I've not been myself. It's like I'm constantly fuckin' fighting with myself, and that leads to me fighting with Kev and Joli. Do you know how much it kills me to look at her sometimes? To see the disappointment in her eyes?" I mockingly laugh. "I've hurt Joli more than I can fuckin' believe, and it's all because you want to get your ratings up. I'm so tired of causing pain, Eric."