Half A Heart ♡ A Marcus Bontempelli Fanfic

thirty one

disclaimer: this might be sensitive to some readers, just a warning.

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My heart dropped. I could feel it break in two as my boyfriend had just called me by his ex-girlfriends name. I take a step back as the nurses take over trying to keep Marcus conscious as they got the doctor.

I take a step back from his bed, unable to digest what had just happened. Did he really just call me Tayla? Please tell me he remembers who I am. I felt like I wanted to throw up. I let a tear slide down my face, staring into space. I text Geraldine, telling her the exciting news about Marcus gaining consciousness, imagining the smile that would be plastered all over her face, before making my way out of the hospital room for some fresh air.

Was I being selfish leaving my boyfriends side whilst he had just gained consciousness after 4 days? There was no way I could stay in that room. I was horrified. My heart had just been torn in two by the one I loved the most without him knowing it.

I was the one who stayed with him in that room everyday and every night. I was the one who held his hand, hoping and praying he'd wake up. I was the one who sacrificed my own time on myself so that I could spend it all on him. I was the one who slept on a chair every night next to him just incase he'd wake up in the middle of the night. I was the one who dropped everything just to make sure I'd be there when he woke up. With all the smiles that this boy brought me, I never thought he would cause me so many tears.

I find myself at my apartment. I hadn't been at this place for a while and I could tell that Daisy hadn't been either because of all the washing in the sink. Everything was a mess and everything I looked at reminded me of Marcus. I walk out on my balcony and urge myself to take deep breaths. My eyes fill with water once again as I collapse on the ground.

"Why me?" I scream out. My cries of help are drowned out by the traffic beneath me as I look down contemplating why I was here. My surroundings are blurred. I couldn't see anything properly because of my swollen eyes. I feel my phone buzz as I look down at it, unable to read or see anything because my eyes were filled with tears.

I had once been crippled by anxiety during my highschool years. All those taunting days at school bullied by my peers took it's toll on me. I endured therapy sessions and took pills to help tackle my anxiety. Those could only do so much. I was the one who pulled myself out of it, I worked so damn hard to find the confidence within myself to deal with my anxiety without those counselling session and pills and now I felt like I was back in year 10, having a dizzy spell. I had controlled my feelings and everything in between to not experience another anxiety attack up until now and I was helpless.

It's like being put into an empty tank and seeing it fill up slowly with water. You can only hold your head up so high until there's not enough space left and your whole body was underwater.

It's like being drowned and knowing that if you just lifted your head up you could breathe again but there was something weighing you down. It wasn't that easy.

I look down at my battle scars. The trail of my past. I promised myself I would never go back to it. I promised myself I would never do it again, it was my past and I wanted it to stay that way.

I was never a drinker. It wasn't the way I dealt with my problems. I always learnt to tell someone how I felt and practised it. But being this torn and hurt, I didn't think about anything else. I wanted to try it and numb my feelings.

;

"Bianca!" I faintly here, someone knocking on the balcony door "Open this door." I feel someone shake me, yelling my name continuously.

"Bianca? Can you hear me? Hello?" Says the familiar voice. I look up at the person, trying to open my eyes.

"Marcus?" I say, looking at the person as their face changes.

"It's not-" They say. I quickly cut them off not letting them speak as I crash our lips together.

"Bianca! No!" Says the familiar voice.

"What?" I say, unable to keep my head up.

"Did you drink all of this?" They ask, looking down at all of the beer bottles surrounding me.

"No." I laugh. I am so out of it.

"Bianca. How long have you been here? We've been desperately looking for you."

"I've been here the whole time." I say, lifting another bottle to my mouth as it gets slapped out of my hand "Marcus why did you do that?"

"It's not Marcus."

- ♡ -

morning all, a short one for you guys but a sad one :( How was everyone's week? I was so sick all week so been feeling a bit slack with my writing :( I will get back into the swing of things soon, so don't fret :) Who's watching our boys this avo? They have to win this one! fingers crossed x

Thank you all soo much for 3k, you're all amazing! Xx