Half A Heart ♡ A Marcus Bontempelli Fanfic

fourty five

"Okay, but that waitress was giving me so many greasies! It was crazy." I laugh.

"She's probably jealous that you've got yourself such a hot date." smirks Jack.

"Mhmm, little does she know we're just friends." I wink, as we pull up at the driveway.

"You want me to walk you out?" he asks, his hand on the seatbealt lock.

"Nah, its fine." I say, taking my seatbelt of off me.

"Nah, I'll come." he says.

"Why'd you ask me then?" I laugh.

He starts grabbing my hand, this boy could not be anymore clingy but I loved it. I laugh at a joke he cracks but my laugher soon turns into shock as I look at the boy, I thought I wouldn't see - not for awhile, till I got back from London anyways - standing right before my very eyes as I turn to Jack who too flashes me a look.

"Jack, you should go." I say, gently taking my hand out of his grip.

"You sure?" he says, concern taking over his face. I give him a nod as he gives me a kiss on the cheek.

"See you, B. Text me." he says "Mate." he nods acknowledging Marcus' presence, quite awkwardly.

I look into space, looking past Marcus as I see Jack's headlight get further and further away, wishing he was still here and that I hadn't dismissed him. I needed support. I wanted to throw up just seeing him. I wasn't ready.

"Bianca," he says, barely a whisper "can we talk?"

"What's there to talk about, Marcus?" I snap, looking at him but he won't look up at me.

"This whole thing." he sighs "I'm sorry."

"You're sorry?" I snap again, I wasn't mad at him. I was mad at the situation we'd gotten ourselves into.

"I know I'm a jerk and I mucked up but I just need you to hear me out." he says. I think about this for a while, not saying anything. Did he deserve my time when he'd wasted all of mine?

"What is it?" I say, trying to not sound too annoyed but it was evident in my tone. He looks up at me, finally looking into my eyes as I look into his chocolate brown eyes that have once pulled me in but now they were just a pair of brown eyes that every other boy had. He takes a long pause, his mouth opening but nothing coming out.

"I shouldn't have let you go that night, not in the state you were in. I know how much I hurt you and that wasn't my intention. I wasn't in the right mind and I'm barely in the right mind now. I'm sorry for that night." he says. I look at him, anger taking over my face as I take a deep breath knowing that if I spoke my anger would turn to tears.

"That night, I called out to you. It was my call for help," I start "and you ignored it."

"Bianca, I'm sor-" he says but i'm quick to cut him off.

"No, don't say sorry." I say "Please don't say sorry, because for the past few weeks I feel like everyone's been saying sorry because they feel bad for me but that's the last thing I want. I don't want anyone's sympathy."

"I just miss you. A lot." he says after a while.

"You miss me?" I say, not holding back on my anger "You didn't miss me when you took her back."

"I didn't know where I was, Bianca. No one would help me, they wouldn't tell me the memory I was missing for the last year and made me figure it out myself. How do you expect me to remember things like that? I barely even knew half of my teammates when I woke up, Bianca." he says, annoyed before regretting it and whispering sorry.

"Don't keep going back to that. No, you weren't in the right mind but you never reached out to me either. You knew of me but didn't decide to investigate." I say, feeling the tear fall down my cheek "You have no idea what I went through during that week you were in hospital. I was worried sick about you and didn't want to leave your side. I was the first one in your room that night it happened. I was in that hospital room for days at a time only being forced to go home by your mum because she was worried for me. I couldn't eat and I couldn't speak. I slept on that chair next to you every night just to make sure I would be there when you woke up. I was restless. Look at me Marcus, I'm all skin and bones." I say. He takes my hand and looks at it as he looks up at me and wipes my tear away.

"I'm so sorry." he whispers "I fucked up."

"You fucked up. You know you did. You're so sorry and I get it. Trust me, I get it. But, you being sorry won't change what you did. You being sorry won't change the way I look at you now. It won't change the way how I feel about you now." I say, looking him in the eyes "You broke me down so much. You lost interest in me, it's kind of like someone punching me in the face. It does hurt to think that one day I'll have to walk past you pretending we never met and talked all night till 4 am talking. I'll have to pretend that it doesn't pain me when it feels like a knife in my chest every time. But what truly hurt the most, after that night I called out to you, you left me without a single word. I waited for you to reach out to me and tell me everything was going to be okay. But, now I've learnt that sometimes, i should accept that a message is a message. You would've reached out if you cared."

"No, Bianca. It doesn't have to be like this."

"Don't get me wrong, I love you. I loved you. You made me so happy, happier than anyone could ever. But sometimes things just don't work out. It's hard for me to forgive you for choosing someone over me. Things happen for a reason and maybe this isn't what God's plan for us was. I do hope that one day you find someone that loves you when you wake up in the morning, or someone that loves you just as much as I did. I hope they tell you how lucky they are everyday and laugh at your jokes. I hope that you find someone that really deserves you as much as they do. I hope you find that person."

"But I've found that person," he say "she's standing right infront of me." it hurt me for him to say that because I knew that in a heartbeat I'd take him back and if I could I would hug him and tell him how much I loved him right now but I couldn't. I had to make my move to London easier for myself and this was the only way.

"No, Marcus. Please don't make this any harder for me." I say, my anger turning into tears.

"I love you, Bianca." he says, as I look up at him and let the tears fall. I wasn't going to keep them in anymore. I love you too, Marcus. I really do. But I can't.

"I can't-" I start.

"Why can't you?!" he says, almost too aggressively.

"I have to go. Please don't make this harder than it is."

"Where are you going?"

"I'm moving," I say "to London."

"Bianca- no!" he says, pleading with me but he was simply too late.

"We need this time apart. Some time to reevaluate what we're looking for. And if someday our paths cross again, i know we'll be better for it. I love you, I do. But it's my turn now. I've been there for you, it's time for you to be there for me and let me go. I'm going to live my dream, please let me go. It's my turn to do what I love now."

- ♡ -

Oh, the emotions! Marcus has finally reached out to her - what she's been waiting for all along and now she's just shot him down :( Oh, marcus :(

Happy Tuesday all! So tired, honestly just want to sleep for a solid month😂