After the rebellion

49

After watching a bit of tv, I took Willow up to bed while Peeta stayed down stairs and looked through the books of accounts for the barkery and our spending. I change Willow nappy and clothes and put her down to sleep, I turn on the mobile that goes over her bed it sings the Willow song, I slid her blanket over her and sit on the rocking chair that is next to where she sleeps. Willow falls in and out of sleep she cry's a little but I soon rock her and she back asleep. She so beautiful with her blue eyes, her tiny hands, cute baby feet. Looking at her reminds me of Prim, I only have one memory of Prim when she was a baby, my mother and father saved up some money from my fathers trading to get a family photo taken, my mother let me dress Prim, I put her in the clothes that I was trying to sell the first time I saw Peeta when gave me the bread when he gave me hope, she was smile at me the hole time. The 2 weeks before that moment I didn't like Prim all the attention was taken away from me, my father wouldn't sing to me he would sing to Prim all the song that were mine and his, my mother wouldn't let me touch Prim because still at 4 I had a lot of Fire in me and was to heavy handed.

I must have fallen asleep in the chair as I begin to head into one of my nightmares.

Willow was running through the woods, I guess I'm following her as I can only see her brown hair in 2 braids down her back she not a baby though she around a teenager. I see 3 white roses on the floor then I see looks in front of Willow and then I see the flicker the one that Beete and Wiress showed me in the training center before the quarter quells, the one that helped us in the arena. Then it was to late she hit it.

I wake up screaming, screaming so loud that I wake up Willow, Peeta must have lifted me into the other room as I'm sleeping in our bed. "Katniss, Katniss" Peeta says grabbing me, I fight back until I remember that I'm safe with Peeta. He rocks me, but know we have another person to worry about and she crying out for her mother or father. "Peeta, go it's okay" I tell him. He looks at me and I know he doesn't want to leave me, he gets up and a soon as he enters the room she stop crying. I lie their think about how much danger my past will bring Willow. I start to think about Gale and how I told him that I'd never had kids and about his reply. I remember that moment so well it was before the first reaping before the rebellion became a possibility before Willow became a possibility. I so dark in mine and Peeta room so I decide to not face the dark alone and go into Willow room. Peeta rocking her in the chair when he sees me he say to her "Here's mummy" he turns her around and she smiling. This makes the tears start but it short lived and someone at 3 o'clock in the morning is banging on the door.