Stony One Shots

Friend, Please

Summary :-: Sometimes the things that keep up alive just might kill us

Warnings :-: Depression, suicidal actions

Word Count :-: 1072

(This was requested by the lovely vsweeney12 and literally I'm crying writing so a box of tissues will be at the end of the chapter because this will be an emotional one. I don't know if I'm crying over the chapter or the song because Tyler had a special way of making me weep no matter what my mood is)

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Tony let out a deep sigh and looked down at the blue prints on his desk in the work shop. As he broke his gaze from the prints he looked across at one of his many beautiful cars he saw the blue glow coming from his chest, the light glowing through his shirt and still shinning as bright as ever. As then began to tap his fingers on it, the humming never stopping and the light never going. But what if the light did stop and the humming silenced? Would anyone care? Or would he just be another dead celebrity, up there with Kurt Cobain, David Bowie and Alan Rickman? Would Steve think the team would be better off? He had so many questions and before he knew what he was doing he had lifted his shirt off over his head and placed it next to him on the work shop bench that became his desk when he wasn't fixing something up. He hen wrapped his fingers around the life source and twisted it slowly.

"Sir? I must ask you to stop this." Came the sudden voice of J.A.R.V.I.S filling the silent work shop. 

But Tony didn't stop, he pulled the arc out and felt a ripping pain shooting inside of him, the pain just how he remembered it being those very short years ago when the Stark Industries missile had gone off next to him, ripping through his suit and bullet proof vest. The pain made him want to scream, want to cry and let go and die. But he found a slight nostalgic feeling in it, the feelings of when Obi ripped it out of him leaving him there to die. 

He could feel the world slowly slipping away from him, his body getting weaker, the British voice of J.A.R.V.I.S calling out to him to put it back in, to stop being so stupid or he was going to call for Steve, or worse Pepper. And then he felt like he had stopped falling, and he tried to gasp for air, his head spinning with dizziness as he fumbled around and safely put the life source back inside the gaping hole in his chest.

"Sir, what one Earth were you thinking?" J.A.R.V.I.S asked in a very disappointing and scared sounding tone, if AI systems could show emotion in their voice, but Tony had made J.A.R.V.I.S very complex and gave him as much to do with feelings as he could.

"I guess I wasn't." Tony mumbled back and then got up, slumping his way up to his floor in the Tower and taking a seat on his bed, his shirt still down in the lab so it was a little nippy. He didn't feel like sleeping as he lay on his bed in the depressive state he was in so he sat back up and turned the Tv on and watching some re-runs of Doctor Who. As the next episode rolled around he fell asleep with his hand on his reactor, as if he was about to take it out once again, to feel the temporary high he needed to feel more alive.

It became addictive now, sitting alone in the dark, tears running down his cheeks and tugging at the reactor and pulling it out, the pain he felt ripping through him, being inches from death and then on his last breath putting it back in, he felt like he had some kind of control in his life, even if it was in these situations. 

Tony placed his hand on the reactor once again, sitting alone in his room, he was always alone now, he felt like a ghost just drifting through life. With tears running down his cheeks he twisted around and heard a clicking sound and slowly began to pull it out.

"Hey darling - TONY STOP!" Screamed Steve as he walked in, seeing the man he loved removing the only thing that kept him alive. "I feel for you but when did you believe you were alone?"

"I'm petrified of who I are and who I have become." Tony whispered, he had never felt like this before, he was cocky, confident and an all round smart mouth, he wasn't suicidal and depressed, locking himself away,  hide from everyone, denying he need someone to exterminate his bones.

Tony just looked up at Steve, tears streaming down his cheeks as he looked at the sadness that radiated of Steve. He pushed the reactor back in, listened for the click and then placed his hands over his face as he started to sob.

"Friend, please remove your hands from over your eyes for me." Steve whispered as he grabbed hold of Tony's hands and pulled them down to show his tear tracked and red nose face. Tony looked so dead, like all the heartache in his life had finally got to him and he couldn't carry on. It was a terrible sight, like seeing your parent cry, Tony had always been so strong and how here he was crying into Steve's chest after he tried to kill himself.

Tony was such an inspiration to millions of kids, they all loved The Invincible Iron Man, but it was clear his worst enemy was himself.

"I know you want to leave but, friend, please don't take your life away from me." Steve spoke softly as he used the bad of this thumb to wipe some of the tears of Tony's cheeks.

"I just wish I was dead." Tony whispered and if this was a cartoon you would have all heart Steve's heard shattering right now. "I hate myself for all the pain I've caused and all the hurt I've done." Tony carried on, but Steve didn't want to hear any of it.

"I'm glad you're not because I wouldn't want to live in a world without you." Steve whispered and kissed Tony on the cheek, letting the smaller man sobbing into his chest.