Janet.
I watched as she stepped aside and let me in. I looked around, and the place was nice. "Everything is so... wooden." I said before turning to her.
"That's usually what a cabin consists of. Why are you here, don't you have a show today?"
"So do you." I stated.
She walked past me and sat back by the fireplace and wrapped herself up in a blanket before sitting. I sat on the floor in front of her and watched as she picked up her book and continued reading.
"Baby, please talk to me." I begged.
She peeked over her book but her eyes drew back to the words in the page. "Why when I do something wrong, it's the end of the world. But you get to do anything you want? I'm genuinely asking, baby. What's the double standard for?"
She groaned and sat the book down. "What have I ever done to you, Janet?" She asked.
"Shawn, you cheated on me." I said as a tear left my eye.
We've never talked about it. It happened, I caught her, she apologized poorly, and we moved on.
She squinted confusedly. "That happened months ago. You still harboring on that?" She asked.
I had tears rolling down my cheek. "That hurt me!" I cried. "You left our bed and went and slept with that woman! You broke my heart Shawn."
She moved from the chair to the floor in front of me and crossed her legs in front of me. "Janet, I apologized and you said we'd move past it."
"No, you blamed me and apologized for leaving the house. You never apologized for making love to that woman." I reminded her.
"You said you didn't care."
"IT WAS MY BEST FRIEND!" I shouted.
My ex lifelong best friend was visiting me and I introduced her to Shawn as my friend. Shawn got upset that she was just "my friend." She refused to sleep me so she went after my friend.
"You k-know how it feels to be stabbed in the b-back?" I cried hysterically. My words were getting bubbly but she heard me. I knew she did.
"Jan, I didn't know you still felt that. I am sorry about that. I fucked up, I did, but that doesn't excuse you. You cheated on me."
"See?! It is always me doing something to you. Shawnette, you've broken my heart too many times and every time, I come back to you. You make secret phone calls to your ex, I'm still here. You kiss Tish, I'm still here. You flirt with Tina, I'm still here. You talk to other women, Shawnette. And I am still fucking here."
As I went down the list, I continued to wonder why? Why am I still here? Why am I still putting myself through constant heartbreak?
Because I am in love with time woman and even though, time and time again, she has let me know my love is stronger than hers, I cannot get enough of the average love she gives me.
"I make one mistake and you leave me?" I continued.
"I didn't leave you. I just needed a break."
"Across the fucking country? Are you insane?"
"I was going to come back Monday for the show. I was going to come back for you."
Shawn.
She collapsed into her lap and started balling her eyes out. I felt bad, truly. When I cheated, it was another one of my moments. I won't lie to her or myself and say that those moments are recurring.
Ever too often, I lose my senses and I treat her as if she isn't the most important woman in my life.
I seriously didn't know the cheating situation bothered her as much as it obviously does and has. She's been harboring on it for six months.
After just staring at her cry, I opened my legs and pull her between them. I laid her head on my chest and rubbed up and down her back.
"Janet. I'm a fuck up, I know that. I keep apologizing because you do always take me back, but it's wrong for me to always assume you will. Me cheating was a mistake and after I've fought to be with you for so long, it was not a mistake I should have made." I said as she continued to cry.
"Tell me what I need to do. This is the last time I want to apologize to you. I want there to be no more mistakes, I don't want to see you like this. Believe it or not, it breaks my heart knowing I've broken yours."
I removed her hands from her face and looked down at the sweetest face I've ever laid eyes on. I wiped her face and waited for her to respond.
"Anything, baby. I swear I'll make the last six months up to you. I want you to feel like a queen and it's been my fault that you've felt anything less."
She waited until the tears were gone and she calmed down.
"I just want you to be loyal to me, Shawn. Treat me like how you claim me: like your wife. I know I've messed up too, and I really do. I apologize for messing with Tip, him and I should have nothing more than a platonical relationship and I will make sure of that." She said as she picked at her ear.
"Ear picker."
"Huh?"
"Your nervous tick is picking at your ears. Why are you nervous?" I asked.
"Every time we get into it, we apologize and make these promises but things always go back downhill."
I intertwined both of our hands and looked in her eyes. "This time won't be like the rest. I'm devoting my entire self to you. I guarantee that." I said.
She kissed my hand then kissed my cheek.
"I love you, babygirl."
"I love you."
We just laid there together, wrapped up under the blanket and in front of the fire, for what felt like ages. By the time I looked at the clock, it was 4am.
The sun had barely started to rise and Janet was knocked out. She had every right, she finished a concert and chased me all the way across the world. She must've been drained.
I lifted her up bridal style and carried her to my bed. I laid her down before laying down myself. I grabbed the duvet as the bottom of the bed and covered us under it.
I pulled Janet into me and kissed her forehead. "Good night, my love." I whispered before dozing off to sleep myself.
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Hope you guys love this book! Vote, comment, add... y'all know the vibe❤️🤪 No cliffhanger this time 😂
