Shawn.
I was waiting around for Jourdan to pick me up as I assured I looked up to par. This was our first date and I didn't want anything to be wrong.
I shook when I heard my phone ring. "Jan?"
"Shawn, I need you."
I looked at the clock that showed 7:56. As little as I've talked to Jourdan, she doesn't seem like one to be late.
"Is it actually needing me or sex, J? I'm kind of busy." I said as politely as possible.
I heard her sob into the phone, almost as if my comment made the situation worse. "Speak to me, J. What's wrong mama?" I said as I grabbed my keys.
"It's Shai."
"What about him? Keep going."
Every time she gets riled up, she forgets to breathe. I never understood that aspect of when a person is upset. How do you forget to keep yourself alive?
"He's really sick. Pneumonia. His lungs keep filling with fluid. Liza said I co—" Her own crying cut her off.
"Okay, baby. Listen to me. I will be at your house in ten, and I'll call Gil and we'll all fly over there. That's okay?"
"I love you."
"I love you, too. Go pack some things."
With that, the conversation ended. I instantly texted Jourdan, not wanting to leave her hanging.
To Jourdan: I'm so sorry. My ex is having issues and she really needs me, it's complicated.
Jourdan: That's fine. Is she okay?
To Jourdan: Her kid is sick, and she's not one that handles these situations well.
Jourdan: Aw, poor baby. You go on and be a good person. Text me before you go to sleep, I wanna make sure you and the baby are okay.
To Jourdan: You're the best. Later, babe.
Jourdan: xoxo
I threw my phone into the passenger seat as I pulled into Janet's driveway. I raced out the car and to the front door. I used my keys and saw Janet on the stairs with a bag.
"Ready, J? Where's Gil?"
"Here, queen! Let's go see my prince. Haul ass, Shawn." He was referring to Janet's ass as it appeared she was stuck.
I picked her up bridal style and told Gil to get her bag. As I walked out the house, I kissed her forehead. "It'll be okay, love." I whispered as we got into the car.
The ride was quiet. Joey was in the passengers seat, Gil, Janet, and I were in the back, and Chuck drove us. The only sounds heard were Janet's random cries and the rain hitting the car.
Once we reached her jet, Gil and I helped her board the plane while Joey and the flight attendants handled our bags.
"Baby?"
I looked down at Janet whose head was in my lap. "Yeah?"
"What if I lose him ?"
I could tell that was the one thing running her mind mad. Hell, if I were to lose my only kid in the future, I'd be distraught.
I ran my hand down her cheek, softly caressing her with my thumb. "You won't. Shai is fighter. He'll be just fine." I answered.
I hated that. When someone is on the verge of death, I hate that we have to give them and all those who are worried hope. Hope is the best temporary healer and the worst and biggest disappointment.
I watched Janet as she slept the entire flight. She would wake up every ten minutes but just from turbulence. I think.
Gil was across from us talking to this Liza woman. I knew of her from the time she worked with Janet but she was never near us, the kids. She focused only on Janet and her brand.
When the plane landed, Joey came over to us. "Okay, should we all go to the hospital or should I take all the bags to a hotel room?" He whispered making sure he didn't wake Janet.
"I mean.. I am secondhand in this situation but from what I know, Joey your support in this situation is important." I said.
Gil added, "It's true. When it comes to Shai, you were the first to know and you've done the best job imaginable taking care of Janet, Liza, and Shai."
Joey nodded. He went back and told the pilot to open the doors. Him and Gil took care of the bags and I was left with Janet.
"Jan, wake up. We landed."
Her eyes slowly fluttered open and her face looked so hurt. You could see it in her eyes. "We have to go." She said instantly panicking again.
I shushed her and held onto her face. "We are. We are. Take my hand so we can get in the car. Okay?" I easily said.
She nodded as he grabbed my hand and I led her out the plane into car. As soon as we got in the car, Janet spoke me. "Shawn, I know I broke up with you but I think about us everyday. I don't wanna seem like I'm contradicting my decision but I really do miss us. I miss you." She said in my ear.
I turned to her and placed a kiss on her lips. "I miss you everyday too." I said afterwards.
Jourdan: You okay?
I looked over at Janet who saw the text come through.
"That's your new girlfriend?"
"Not really. We just talk." I answered.
"What's holding you back? If it's me, I don't want it to be. I love you and I want you to be happy. With or without me. Go live, Shawn."
I think that was definitely what was holding me. I didn't need her permission per se, but her hold on me needed to be let loose.
"I needed that, babe. Thank you. Don't let me hold you back either. I know that one day we'll be together so until then, you go and be happy. Promise?"
We locked pinkies and she laid her head on my shoulder as I leaned mine against hers. We went to sleep for the remainder of the ride. God knows it was needed before we got to the hospital.
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A mess..
