Janet.
"I'm sorry I was a bad friend. I'm sorry I pushed you away and ignored you. You deserved better than me. All I want is for you to come back so I can make things right. It makes me sick that you aren't here anymore. You died thinking I hated you and that was far from the case. I love you, Tina. May your beautiful soul rest in peace."
I stood up from her tomb and walked back to where Shawn was. "Did you want to say something?" I asked her. She shook her head.
"I'm fine."
"Okay, let's go home." I grinned. "I'm in need of a nap." We shared a kiss before heading to her house.
Shai was with his father for the week which left me some time for myself. Tip said that he had the week off and was flying to Islam to deepen his connection with his god. I told he it would good for Shai to go. I am a Christian but I want Shai to know both my religion and his fathers for when he makes that choice.
The ride was quiet and once we got in the house, the silence was starting to eat me up.
It's been two weeks since Tina's been buried and Shawn has not been taking it well. Some days she's happy and involved, others, she can be cold and isolated. Today is a cold and isolated day.
"Hey, babe?"
She turned to me and waited on what was next to come out my mouth.
The look on her face was screaming for help. But I couldn't find the words to make her actually talk to me about all this.
"I-I'm gonna go take a nap. Wanna join me?"
"Yeah. That'd be nice."
I pecked her cheek and told her to meet
me upstairs. I took my outside clothes off and threw on one of Shawn's sweaters. I grabbed the rim and smelled the shirt. It smelled just like her.
I smiled to myself and got in her bed. I sat up, not wanting to accidentally fall asleep without her.
It was twenty minutes before I heard the door open. "Sorry." She said lowly, refusing to make eye contact with me. "I made a phone call."
"Please don't lie. You don't have to."
"Janet, I just don't feel like talking about it."
"Then say that." I told her as I crawled to the edge of the bed. I motioned her over to me. She slugged her way over to me and stood in between my legs. "I am not going to force you to open up with me, I get it. Just, you don't have to lie."
"Okay." Was all she said.
"Crying is okay, beautiful." I told her lastly. "Come on, I'm tired."
I moved back to the top of the bed as she followed me. She opened her arms and let me lay on her. "I have a studio session later and I can't be late. Wake me if I oversleep." I mumbled.
"Can I come?"
I looked up at her. "Of course, but why?" I asked.
"I don't wanna be alone." She replied.
"Oh."
I more so wanted to hear that she wanted to spend time with me, but regardless of her reason, we'll be together so I'm not really going to exaggerate it.
"Okay." I said.
She took my hand into her own and closed her eyes. "What'd you do to the ring?" She asked.
"Huh?"
"The ring on the necklace. What ever happened to it?" She asked again.
I heard her clearly and understood her the first time. But the answer isn't what someone would want to hear, but I can't lie. "I threw it out." I said.
"Okay." After that she went to sleep and I wasn't far behind her.
At the studio...
I ended up being late by twenty minutes. Shawn was just as knocked out as me and it was by luck we even woke up when we did. We could've slept through an storm.
"Okay, Jan. Sing that part again. Make it more rock, less pop." Terry, one of my producers said.
She brought love
She brought joy
She brought what she brought
You thought you'd never see again
She cheats and lied
Made you cry
Said goodbye
Bodies numb
"Perfect! We're good."
"I'm wanna listen." I said before putting my headphones on the stand. I walked into the room and saw Shawn curled up on the couch sleeping.
I went up to her and caressed her cheek as I called her name lowly, but loud enough to wake her. "Baby, we're gonna leave soon. I just have to listen to the run one more time." I said.
She sat up and stretched out her body. "I'll go warm up the car." She offered. I gave her the keys and walked her to the door.
"I'll be right out." I puckered my lips for her to kiss. When I opened my eyes, I noticed how shocked she was.
"We're in public. Your frie—"
"My friends have to see me kissing my woman. I don't care. Kiss me." She smirked, which was the first time I'd seen her smile all day, then gave me a kiss.
"I love you, J."
"Love you too, baby. Go warm up the car."
I watched as she made her way to the elevator and got on before turning back to the boys. Their faces were priceless.
"Yes?"
"You just kissed her." Jimmy said. "And that was a friend kiss, not like any kiss is a friend kiss."
"She's not just my friend. She's my girlfriend."
"Whoa. When did that happen?" Terry asked.
I smirked at the mystery of Shawn and I's relationship to the public. "It happened when it happened. Play the track." I smirked.
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