Janet.
I woke up with the sun burning in my face. For somewhere so cold, the sun shines very brightly. I looked over and didn't see Shawn beside me.
"Shawn?" I called out.
"I'm in the kitchen, babe." She shouted out to me.
I wrapped myself in the duvet, which was heavy as hell, and met her in the kitchen. She was making some breakfast and smiled when our eyes met.
"Good morning. I forgot how beautiful you look when you first wake up." She admired.
I blushed profoundly and sat on the island. She came in between my legs and wrapped her arms around my waist as I wrapped mine around her neck.
She pecked my lips and gave me an unreadable expression. "What?" I asked.
"Your lips. They taste like... slobber." She said as she wiped her lips off in disgust.
I was offended. "I do not slobber in my sleep, Shawnette Heard. And to be fair, I don't have a toothbrush here with me, it's at the hotel." I stated.
"The hotel?"
"Yeah. You really thought I came across the world last minute and Joey and Tommy didn't follow? ... And Gil." I sighed.
The guilt of snapping on him yesterday hit me. "Why'd you say Gil's name like that? What happened?" Shawn asked feeling the mood switch.
"We got into a little argument on the plane ride here. I yelled at him for always picking your side when we disagree."
"Y'all beefing because of me?"
I shrugged and pointed at the stove where her food looked finished. She turned the fire off and came back to me. "I'm sorry. He just wants us to be together forever." She said.
"Well so do I. I was tired of being the bad guy in his eyes, so I just set him straight. But now I feel bad."
"The bad guy?"
"Huh?"
"You said you were tired of him looking at you like the bad guy? What'd you do?"
"I might have outted some of our problems that we've had since we got together. I was venting." I said innocently. "Sorry."
"No, its fine. It's not like you lied to him. But can I be honest with you about something?"
"Of course, baby. What is it?" I asked.
"Your breath is kicking and killing my nose hairs."
I lightly slapped her and moved her away from me. "I don't have a toothbrush." I whined. "Love me."
"I do. But, I don't have to love your breath." She joked as she chuckled to herself. "What do you say, we eat, clean up, and have a snow day. I have these cute little snow chairs set up outside around the fire. We can talk some more, and cuddle even."
"I think I'd like that." I snickered.
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • •
Shawn.
I sat in the snow chair and watched as Janet played in the snow like a little kid. She looked happy to be here which made me happy.
Last night was heavy, but I'm glad we started on the path to reconnecting. I called out to her, "Boo, come sit with me by the fire. I'm cold."
"You're the one who wanted to be out here." She said as she continued to play.
"Warm me." I pouted.
She turned around and saw my lip out. "Fine, you little baby." She said before leaving her spot in the snow for my lap.
The snow chair is more of an ice chair, so it wasn't plush. It didn't mind the weight on it.
Janet sat down on my lap and kissed my lips passionately. "Now can I go back?" She begged.
"Why do you like the snow so much?"
"I never was around it much. When I lived in Indiana, I was so young. I'm sure I enjoyed it but all my memories start with Encino. There's no snow in California."
"What about tours and traveling? We were just in the snow a week ago."
"We were working. I'm always working and I never thought of vacationing in cold weathered places." She admitted.
"I never knew that." I said.
"There's a lot you don't know. You never ask."
"I—I'm sorry."
She flashed her charming smile at me. "It's fine. It's not like I open up a lot." I tucked a strand of hair behind her ear revealing her face more.
"God, you are so beautiful." I said more so to myself, but out loud.
"Shawn."
I could tell she was embarrassed by what I said. "Why?" I asked, "Why do you get embarrassed by compliments. You are beautiful and you deserve to know it, baby."
"I don't know." She sighed. "I never found myself beautiful or attractive or sexy. I don't find anything too special about me. I'm okay, though."
She shivered and I felt it. "When's the next time we get a break from tour?" I asked as I motioned her to get inside the house.
We walked back to the cabin, handheld, as she answered me. "We have one next week Saturday but I had to postpone yesterday's show to Thursday. Next time is right after that for Thanksgiving break, why?"
"I'm going to take you on vacation. I want you to know that you are beautiful. I want you to enjoy yourself. And not as the performer, not the entertainer, or anything of the sort. I want Janet Damita Jo Jackson to find herself beautiful and have fun."
We reached inside the house and she held her head down. "What is it?" I asked.
"I know we promised to be better and this is better, but I don't want it to be temporary. I like what we did today. I like talking and eating and being with you. You make me happy, Shawn."
I lifted her chin and passionately kissed, wrapping my arms around her waist. "I will start setting more time aside to talk and eat and be with you." I said sticking my pinky out.
She giggled and locked our pinkies.
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