Shawn.
Not being with Janet was harder than I expected. It's been a month since we've broken up and my heart still is just as shattered as it was when we ended things.
I can tell she has moved on.
Her and Q-Tip have been inseparable for weeks now but she keeps shutting down the rumors. They go to the movies, to dinner, and he even took her on a mini vacation when we had a three day break.
She's been saying that it's because he is leaving the tour. His last show is tonight which is also the last one of the year then he is off to another tour with SWV in the new year.
Him leaving is God blessing me. Maybe I can get Janet back. She still wears the ring around her neck so I still have a chance.
Or maybe she forgot the meaning of it. No, stop it Shawn. She would never forget.
"Please do not tell me you are daydreaming about her again." Gil said upon invading my side of the dressing room.
I rolled my eyes, "No, I'm daydreaming about Halle Berry." I sarcastically said.
"Oou, she's a cutie patootie. Try leaving J behind and go for Halle."
"J and I are fine. It's just a break, we'll be back together in no time. Space. That's all this is." I said trying to convince myself as well as Gil.
"Tell that to Tip's tip that greets Janet's throat every night." He said so nonchalantly.
I shot him a death glare before actually realizing what he said. "Has she told you that? Is she really fucking him all the time?" I asked.
His eyes got bold before glaring away from me.
Taking that as a yes, I felt every emotion you could think of boil in my bones.
I stood up and made a straight path to Janet's room. I had no right to be upset, but my anger was at the forefront of my emotions so I was. I was very upset.
I saw Joey posted at her door. "Joey, move." I said.
"Sorry, Shawn. I can't. JJ said no visitors before the show, including and especially you." He said. "You are kind of banned."
Banned? Who does she think she is? I smelled Joey's shirt as an overwhelming scent crossed my nose. "You smoke ganja now?" I asked.
He lifted his shirt to his nose. "What? No, I— Hold on." He said before slipping his way into Janet's dressing room and locking the door.
I held my ear to the door so I could hear every word. "J, you and Kamaal have to get some Febreeze up in here. Your weed is blowing out the room. Or at least block under the door." Joey said.
"Joey, nobody cares." Janet shot back before laughing with a second man in the room.
"You heard the lady." The man said. I immediately picked up on who it was by the accent. Q-Tip.
"Shawnette cares." Joey warned.
I heard Janet laugh almost hysterically before speaking, "Shawn caring is something I don't care about. Tell her to untwist her boxers and go get ready." She shot at Joey.
I heard the doorknob lock start to twist so I quickly moved away from it and back to the dressing room. I heard Janet say it, and didn't want to hear it again.
By the time I got in the room, my feelings had exploded and I was emotionally drained. There were not enough tears for the hurt I was feeling yet I couldn't cry. I've been crying for a month straight and my tear duct was out.
I sat at my station and prepared for the first set.
Maybe I shouldn't be so surprised Janet banned me, we haven't spoke in two weeks. At least point, she probably feels like I forgot about her.
Janet.
I took one last pull from Tip's blunt before putting it up. "I don't think smoking before a show is smart." I said feeling hungry and tired and energized all in one.
"Nah, baby. You have to experience your first ever show being high. Everything just feels insane and extra hype. You are gonna love it."
"Like I love you.." I said.
He looked over at me and smiled. "Nah, more like I love you. Give me a kiss." He demanded.
I wasted no time obliging his demand as I melted into his arms. I pulled from the kiss and looked in his eyes. "Let's have crazy high sex." I said. "High sex is the best. Especially when things get sloppy." I teased.
"We can't have sex in your dressing room on the couch." He laughed.
"Then let's try the vanity chair."
I got up and took my first sex costume off. I tossed it on the vanity leaving myself in my bra and panties and stockings.
"They say sex before a show brings good luck." I said.
He stared down my body, basically drooling. "Well.." He said as he stood up, invading my space. "Let's test out this theory. Last one for the road."
He stripped and sat at my vanity chair. "Come on, show me how much you love this dick."
"Guess I'ma have to ride it tonight." I smirked.
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