matty healy, falling in love over night

he was hers

19th of june

today was the last day before we left for spain. we would be traveling tonight at 10 pm. i had a decision to make. i stayed in bed, avoiding my phone and george. i placed my hand on my stomach, nothing had really changed, nausea had faded but it was strange to get it so early. the doctor had warned me it would probably come back soon. i sighed and decided it was time to face the music. i looked around the room. it felt empty without matty here. i should call him. i should have called him last night. i ignore my gut feeling and pick up the phone to call carly

"heyyyyy"
"hey!" she sang down the phone
"how was lolla?"
"good! yeah i meant to ring you but its been so hectic!"
"yeah, no of course dont worry"
"are we gonna grab some food?"i heard an australlian accent say in the back ground
"hang on im on the phone" carly muttered
"yeah welll .. i should let you go then"
"okay babe see you soon" she said, ending the call and making the seas seem very big, we were apart.
i knew her and gabby were friends i guess i just didnt know that would exclue me from the friendship we created.

i walked towards the kitchen and poured myself a bowl of cereal, my fingers traced the marble i use to sit and watch matty cook on. my eyes lingered on the balcony, where we read together a couple of times. the sofa where he would always wacth rom coms with me and thre door we use to stumble drug through.
this place held so many memeories, which all felt alife time aago now even though they were just a couple months ago. i ate the cereal and contiuned to reminice on the times we had. i remembered being seventeen and running down the cold windy streets with him after college,
i laughed remembing how his guitar would hit his legs evry single step of the way.

"you okay?" george asked interrupting my thoughts
"fine" i replied with a slight smile
"are you coming tonight? your tickets all booked and we all want you there?"
"i ..matty hasn't even text me. i don't think he wants me there do you?"
"maybe he hasn't text you because you haven't text him"

he had a point, i hadn't. i was angry and i thought i was entitled to that anger. he was hanging out with his ex who did hate me. but maybe i should call him, maybe it was my fault too. i smiled at George and walked back to my room softly closing the door. taking a deep breath i clicked his contact and the overseas dialing tone rang up

"hey" i sang into the phone i was gripping so tightly
"hey" he replied sounding so so far away
"are you okay?"
"yeah are you?" he aksed
"im good .. i miss you"
"you're flying out with George tonight right?"
"yeah .. i dont know maybe"
"what d you mean?" he asked sounding completely lost
"well do you even eant me there matty?" i finally asked. there was silence at the end of the line. great. he didn't want me there
"of course i want you here grace, i love you and nothings been the same since you left. i don't even know who i am without you here. you've not been at my shows and i hate not seeing your face in the crowds. i really fucking hate it"
"why didn't you say any of this you idiot"  said as tears rolled down my face
"because i thought you leaving was best"
"you dont get to decde that"
"not anymore gracie. its you and me. not me and gabby. you and me"
"i love you" I told him
"i love you"
"i need to pack for tonight then"
"okay baby, ill see you soon yeah?" he asked
"see you soon"