matty healy, falling in love over night

wake up

"we are here" gemma whispered shaking my shoulder

"sorry" i mumbled

"it's okay"

gemma had already been up and dropped her things round. we had to go shopping today for some furniture. we already had gemma's sofa and chairs, we just needed little things like a coffee table and two beds, a wardrobe ect

"i'll put my stuff in my room and then we will go" i told her

"i'll help" she said picking up two of my bags, i grinned at her

"i'm excited" i confessed

"me too!" she said pushing her blonde  curls out of her face

once we had all my cases in my room we jumped back into gemma's white rangerover. i hated the way it reminded me of matty ... but i ignored the pain. i let the memories of him holding my hand or us in the back seat slip away. they would be replaced with me and gemma trying to fit my whole life into the car, they would be replaced with me and gemma speeding down the motor way to a cheap furniture stop.
the memories i held the dearest would be forgotten and ones i know were good for me would replace them

"you okay?" she asked bringing me back to reality, i smiled

"yes"
i meant it, i wasn't truly okay, i knew i needed time before i stopped seeing him everywhere. and i would give myself time.

the flat was gorgeous. our rooms were quite big so we had space to fill. the kitchen was open plan to the living room. countertops of black marble and an island in the middle.
the living room had gemma's white leather sofa and two chairs. the windows were so big so you could see the whole of manchester.

both our rooms were en-suite, perfect. my room had a large window and a ledge you could sit on. a window seat. it made me laugh because it was like a balancing but in reverse.
gemma had already placed some books on the window seat for me, she was a large book reader and had many she was eager for me to read.

gemma's room was very similar to mine, window seat, en suite, wooden floors and white painted walls.

it was the perfect place.

we ended up at a cheap furniture shop, i got a white metal bed frame and sliding wardrobes with mirrors. gemma just got a black pleather bed frame and since she didn't need a wardrobe, no wardrobe.

next was coffee tables, we spotted a rose gold one with mirrored top, this was perfect for the living room.

i also saw a gorgeous set of white Chester draws and bought them.

we left with two more tables for our bedrooms and we were nearly done when i caught a glimpse of a poster outside.

'the 1975's second album has a release date: september'

"gemma" i said nudging her so she looked at the billboard

"don't stress it" she calmly said

i like it when you sleep for you are so beautiful yet so unaware

it was weird to read the words i read not long since. they were written about somebody i didn't belong to anymore. they were supposedly written for me but he spent more time watching gabby sleep than he did me.
were they even for me?

"grace?" gemma asked, wordy clear on her face

"i'm okay" i mumbled as she pulled me into a hug

"it's gonna get worse before it gets better"

i wanted to be home, i wanted to crawl into bed and never get out again.

"lets go home" i told gemma

"no, he won't ruin your first day here, you wanted some bedding right? let's go i know a good place"

we jumpe back in the car and she began to hum under her breath, i watched her. she really did seem okay. but she had four years to fix herself and even then i'd seen her cry over matty multiple times in the last month.
even after four years she felt the pain.
i didn't want to be like that but i knew it was unavoidable.

we arrived at the bedding shop and instantly she grabbed a set and threw it at me

"PINK SILK GEMMA OHMYGOD" i squealed, and the price wasn't even too bad

"told ya!" she laughed

"ugh i love you"

"i love you, now go pay and then let's go home i'm shattered"

we fell beck into the leather car seats and sped on home.
it felt weird calling manchester home. london and had been all i knew for so many years, but i liked manchester.
it had the same feel as london just newer. there was nothing here tying me to matty. only links that i, myself kept making. this place was my new start and there was no way in hell he could ruin this.
the flat was beautiful.
me and gemma had become bestfjrnds so quickly, the only person i'd ever felt like this with was lia. she felt so safe and knew exactly what i'd been through so that was a bonus.

"okay so the moving guys are bringing the beds today and then they said they will bring the wardrobe n tables tomorrow" gemma told me once we were inside the flat

"how long will they be?" i sighed, i felt so tired especially with being pregnant

"uhhh i'm not too sure ... your duvet is in the back of my car still though so so you want me to put the bedding you just got on it and you can have a nap on the sofa?" she asked

"gemma you're a star i don't know what i'd do without you"

"eat something at least while i do it"

"yes mum" i joked

i buttered some toast and had a glass of water, once i came back to the living room the white leather sofa was covered with my silk duvet and pillows. gemma was outside having our door having a cigarette.

i fell into my covers and closed my eyes, everything was very over overwhelming  and i wanted to be asleep more than anything in the  world.