All This Time

The Cause of Sorrow

TRIGGER WARNING: self harm/suicide

They had saved everyone. Byleth was excited; her father had said he had something to tell her. Monica was ecstatic, cheering.

Wait.

Why would Monica be here?

"Thanks so much!" Monica paraded around her father with a bright smile on her face. Jeralt just shrugged as she snuck behind him.

A grin crept onto her face.

"But you're just a pathetic old man."

Monica withdrew a dagger from Jeralt's back, and Byleth cried out as she watched her father fall to the ground.

Time stopped.

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".nam dlo citehtap a tsuj er'uoy tuB—"

"But you're just a pathetic old man."

This time, Byleth held her sword and the bones creaked menacingly as it whipped towards Monica. Much to Byleth's surprise, however, an invisible shield blocked the blow, and her father groaned and fell to the ground once more. Monica disappeared, and Byleth rushed over.

"N-No, no!" Byleth's eyes shifted to his wound in horror. Tears fell from her eyes. "Father, please..."

"To think...that the first time...I'd see you cry...is over me," Jeralt smiled weakly as she cradled his body. "I'm...happy..."

The light drained from his eyes, and Byleth couldn't help herself from sobbing. Rain poured around her as she mourned.

"Dad...!"

———

He was...dead..?

Her father was dead

You can cry to me, Sothis reassured her sadly. It will be alright.

How could things be alright

A knock on her door interrupted her sorrow, and Byleth quickly wiped her tears away. Still, it was hard to reign in her emotions. Those meddling kids can't even give you a moment to cry? Sothis asked, frustrated.

Byleth ignored her, standing from her bed and opening the door. Behind it, stood Claude. Unlike usual, his eyes held a somber tone and no smile was present on his face.

"Teach, how are you holding up?"

Oh, of course he's the one who came to visit you.

"...I'm...fine," Byleth said monotonously. She hoped her red eyes didn't give away her sorrow. "...You can come in."

"I'm sorry for your loss, Teach," Claude said sincerely, stepping into her room and pulling her into a hug. He closed the door behind him to give them a moment of privacy as Byleth began to break down.

She sobbed into Claude's chest, her tears soaking his uniform. She didn't care how pathetic it was, she had just lost her father. The one person in her life who she really tried to live for. He had done so much for her, and now...

"Shh, Teach...I know it hurts," Claude ran a hand through her blue hair, comforting her slowly. "I'm sorry."

"He's gone," Byleth whispered, her hands gripping his uniform tightly. He just held onto her, muttering comforting words and sending his condolences. She knew she shouldn't feel like this, so she was about to let go when she heard Sothis' voice. Oh, for crying out loud! Sothis sighed, exasperated with Byleth. I know what I said earlier...But you clearly need some closure right now. Just stay there.

So she did.

They remained in her room, Byleth's sobs echoing throughout the room.

She could have stayed in his arms forever.

———

"Thanks. Yeah, Teach is fine. She's recovering, she just needs time."

Claude pushed his way through the many people questioning him. He needed to grab them both food; while he was in her room, he could hear Byleth's stomach rumbling loudly. Finally making it to the dining hall, Claude stepped in line for food. The line had been much shorter than he predicted, so Claude grabbed the food and darted towards his Professor's Quarters.

Teach always seems to eat anything and everything, Claude mused as he stepped up to her room. She's like a bottomless pit.

He knew her door was unlocked, so he quickly turned the knob and pushed it open. Claude gently opened the door, about to make a joking remark, when he saw a noose swinging back and forth. His Teach was standing on a chair behind the noose with a blank expression on her face. She raised her hands towards it, unaware of Claude's appearance. Immediately, Claude felt fear rush through him as his eyes locked on the noose again.

"TEACH!"

The tray fell from his hands as Claude rushed towards her. Glass shattered behind him as he ran over. He knocked her off the chair, away from the noose, and they both went crashing to the ground. Claude winced as his head hit the frame of her bed, his arms shielding her from being hit by anything. Slowly, Claude lifted himself off of her, ignoring the pain. She only stared up at him blankly.

If he had taken any longer, she could have been swinging from a noose instead of here in his arms...

"What the hell, Teach!" Claude's voice was genuinely angry as he rubbed his head. He wasn't angry because of his wound, he was furious because of what his Teach had been attempting. "What...What were you planning? Why would you..."

Byleth didn't respond, she only averted her eyes. Jeralt was dead. Her plan had been to join him; she hadn't anticipated that Claude would come back so quickly.

"Teach? Answer me!" Claude demanded, grabbing her by the shoulders and shaking her. She didn't respond, she just stared at him with frightened and confused eyes. Upon realizing that he was scaring her, Claude quickly stopped shaking her and pulled her into a hug. "I...I'm sorry for yelling. But you scared the hell out of me! Why...Why would you even think about doing that?"

She still didn't respond, she just accepted the hug. She could hear the fear in his voice, but she was too distanced to care. Right now, Byleth just wanted the hollowness in her chest to end.

Claude pulled away, scanning her face for injuries. When she looked at him, she saw that unidentifiable emotion in his eyes. It was the same one he'd had while she was injured. Almost as if he was scared or something. His face was panicked as he glanced at her.

"Teach, you can't...you can't do that. I won't let you."

Before Byleth knew it, she was crying again. She felt warm tears trail down her cheeks uncontrollably. Claude cradled her in his arms, running a hand through her hair comfortingly.

"I'm..I'm sorry," She hiccuped, wiping a tear away with her finger. "I just...I m-miss him so much...!"

"I know," Claude whispered sympathetically into her ear, holding her tighter to him. Now that the adrenaline from the moment had run off, he had to stop himself from crying. After all, Claude had just walked in on a potential suicide attempt. From the person he'd grown to trust in such a short amount of time, no less! Sucking in a deep breath, Claude attempted to resettle himself. "I...I need you, though. You're everything to me, Teach. Remember?"

She didn't respond.

"Just...Please...Value your life," Claude told her, planting a kiss on her forehead before he could stop himself. "I need you, Teach."

She shifted in his hold, and he could feel her nodding. He let out a relieved sigh, holding her tighter to him.

"Good. Please don't...don't think about throwing your life away ever again. We all need you."