All This Time

Heartbeats

Claude woke up one morning with a content look on his face.

Ever since his Teach had come back, his sleep was no longer riddled with nightmares and restless nights. Now, he could hold her close to him, breathe in her scent, and remember that she was still here.

Fondly, Claude squeezed her tighter in his arms. She shifted slightly, but remained asleep. She looked so peaceful in her slumber that Claude didn't want to move and rouse her.

He remained there for a while longer, just enjoying her presence. After a brief moment, Claude turned and rested his ear upon her chest. He expected to hear her strong heartbeat as proof that she truly was alive, as living evidence that his Teach was finally with him.

Instead, all he heard was resounding silence.

Oh, please no.

Frantically, Claude scrambled to sit up, immediately panicking. She had no heartbeat...She had just been moving, how had she passed so quickly? Could he have helped her? What if it was my fault that she was dead?

Claude began to shake her by her shoulders desperately. I can't lose you, not after finally finding you after all this time..! No, no, no... She merely remained still in his arms, inducing further panic from the Alliance leader.

"Teach, please, no...please don't leave me," Claude begged, a desperate look in his emerald eyes. The efforts that he had gone through to hide his worry slipped, and all he could do was hope that his Teach would come back to him. I can't...I can't lose you. Not again. "Don't die. Wake up, please, please.."

As Claude's voice trailed on and on, Byleth slowly began to wake up. Much to her confusion, she was being shaken back and forth. She drowsily opened her eyes, blearily focusing in on Claude's frantic expression as he shook her back and forth.

"C-Claude...?" Byleth yawned sleepily, extremely confused as to why he looked so panicked. "W-W-W-What are you doing? Are we being invaded...?"

"TEACH!" Claude exclaimed, relief flooding his handsome features. He quickly reached forward and hugged her tightly in his arms. Confused, Byleth patted him on the back reassuringly.

"W-What's happening?"

"I thought...I thought you died," Claude whispered into her ear, still speaking hastily. Still confused, Byleth raised her brow.

"What do you mean you thought I died..?" Byleth shook her head in confusion. "I've been right here..."

"You had no heartbeat," Claude explained, incredibly bewildered. He pulled away from her, pressing his ear against her chest. He still heard nothing; silence resounded throughout her body.
"Have no heartbeat. What...How are you alive, Teach?"

"Oh...Claude, I'm so sorry I didn't tell you," Byleth sighed, embracing him in another hug gently and guiltily. "I just...I just don't have a heartbeat. I don't know why, I've never known. I assumed it was the reason I never had any feelings.."

"You...don't have a heartbeat?" Claude questioned, a concerned look in his eyes. "That's not possible... Yet, I heard it for myself. You're here, but your heart isn't beating...what...?"

"I don't know either," Byleth admitted again, feeling rather guilty about keeping that from him. In truth, she hadn't meant to; she had completely forgotten he didn't know. "All I know is that I have no heartbeat whatsoever."

"...Jeralt's diary mentioned that you never cried, never laughed," Claude mused, holding her closer to him still. She figured that he was still frightened from the near scare. That incident must have reminded him of when she had almost taken her own life...Byleth lowered her eyes guiltily as he continued to surmise explanations. "He mentioned that Rhea had grown increasingly suspicious, and that's why he ran. Perhaps Rhea did something o you that stopped your heartbeat, which, incidentally...removed your emotions."

"Wait...Do you mean that Rhea is the reason I've never felt alive?" Byleth suddenly despised the Archbishop more than even Edelgard herself. Rhea was responsible for her lack of emotions in the beginning? Her entire life before she met Claude had been empty. If it wasn't for Rhea, she could have had emotions? Smiled and laughed without someone else's assistance? "How could she do that to me!?"

"I don't know for certain," Claude backpedaled, but they were both aware that it was a very plausible solution. "But it would make a lot of sense. Still, there's holes in that explanation. What exactly did she do to you?"

"I have no idea," Byleth shuddered at the thought of Rhea implanting something awful into her. "She's terrifying..."

"...There's only one way to find out," Claude said grimly. "We need to find Rhea. I'm almost positive that she is being held captive by the Adrestian Empire, since we didn't find her once the attack on Garreg Mach monastery ended. The only way to find our answers...is to end Edelgard's war for ourselves."

"Then we'll do it," Byleth nodded, a determined look in her eyes. She had always been curious as to why exactly she had been abnormal, and if Claude could help her, she wasn't complaining. "We'll end this war, and we'll get all the answers we need. Claude...I'm sorry for scaring you..I didn't even think about it."

"It's alright, Teach," Claude reassured her, but she had an instinctual feeling that he was lying to make her feel better. "Just...Just scared me, that's all."

"I'm sorry..."

"Nah, Teach. It's fine," Claude continued to try and play it off as if his earlier reaction was nothing. If Byleth was anyone else, she might have believe it, but she knew him better than anyone else. "I'm going to go get ready for that meeting, alright?"

"O-Okay," Byleth said absentmindedly, more worried about him than ever. She hadn't noticed any traces of Claude being worried or fearful. This was the first time that she had been given any indicator of Claude struggling internally. "You're sure you're okay?"

"I'm good. See you soon."

He kissed her softly on the cheek before standing from the bed. He yawned, and then winked at her before standing up to leave. Byleth watched as Claude walked out, leaving her in her thoughts.

Her mind could be a dangerous place, but right now, it was a surrogate for worry.

Was Claude not as mentally stable as he seemed?

merry christmas, last gift of the day :)