All This Time

Instinct

Two years had passed, and his Teach still hasn't resurfaced.

Yet, he knew she was still out there. Claude knew he sounded crazy; all of his fellow Golden Deer kept looking at each other, worried for him. But Claude knew she was somewhere out there.

Edelgard's war waged on. Poor Dimitri had been executed, and Claude felt a wave of rage flow through him. How could she? He'd wanted things to change in Fódlan, he wouldn't deny it, but her way meant spilling too much blood. There had to have been another way.

He was officially the head of the Leicester Alliance. Surprisingly, Lorenz was alright with this. He had meetings almost every day to discuss the war, and, much to his embarrassment, his schemes had resulted him the nickname "Master Tactician". While the title did indeed sound cool, Claude knew it was just another reminder that all he could do was scheme. Without his Teach, his schemes couldn't come to fruition.

He winced. Every thought always linked right back to her, no matter what. Claude knew it was starting to get unhealthy, but he couldn't give up hope. The second he did that was the second that he would lose the war.

Currently, it was a deadlock. Cornelia had taken over Faerghus and was working with Edelgard, but they had been unsuccessful in invading the Alliance so far.

"Teach, we need you," Claude muttered, as if he could hear her. "I need you."

———

Claude really hated responsibility.

Okay, maybe that wasn't completely true. Part of Claude really enjoyed having a job to do. But he detested working with nobles of the Leicester Alliance. None of them trusted him (nor that he could really blame them) and they all disagreed with each other constantly. Despite his attempts to calm them down, he would only be put down. Claude sighed in frustration.

Being an outsider has never been more frustrating.

They just didn't value his opinion. Claude couldn't really disagree with their view; he had unexpectedly appeared with a rightful claim to House Riegan, how could he be the leading house? Yet, Claude had worked tirelessly to learn Fòdlan's culture and customs. He had a strong understanding, and despite his schemes working, they still didn't trust him.

Although, Claude knew that was a bit hypocritical. His time in Almyra had taught him that trusting anyone was a folly. The only person he'd really ever trusted had been his Teach. His heart broke a little bit.

Even she had turned against him. She broke her promise.

Stop, Claude.

"I just need to keep trusting her," Claude muttered to himself. "I have to trust that she'll come back to me."

Trust her. Trust someone, for once. Claude knew he just had to wait a little longer.

"You'll resurface again. I'm sure of it."

———

She wasn't coming back.

No.

Claude couldn't think like that.

It was the fourth year since Edelgard started her war, and his Teach still hadn't shown up. Claude was beginning to lose hope, but every time he said it, he shook his head. No. She had to be coming back.

"Claude, I know it's hard, but...you have to stop thinking about her. There's a war going on!" Hilda scolded him. Hilda, yelling at him? He laughed inside of his head. She'd changed so much. Now, she couldn't even afford to slack off. Teach being missing really taught her to clean up her act.

"What are you talking about, Hilda?"

"You know," Hilda rolled her eyes. She had finished grieving for their missing professor. When the war was over, Hilda would remember the many memories she had with Byleth, but she knew she needed to focus on the war now. "Our professor. Claude...I know how close you were with her, but she's not coming back. It's been four years."

"No, Hilda. She's coming back," Claude argued strongly, and Hilda could only sigh. He'd been leading the Alliance for awhile now, and the lack of sleep was starting to get to him. At least, that's what Hilda thought, so she humored him and nodded.

"Okay, Claude," A defeated tone in her voice, Hilda didn't really believe him. "Okay."

Teach, please.