All This Time

Grieving

Claude didn't sleep that night.

He was too terrified to take his eyes off of his Teach. As per usual, Claude settled himself on the chair while his Teach slept. He didn't take his eyes off her.

He yawned several times, forcing himself to stay awake the whole night by pinching his fingertips. Even so, it was difficult to remain awake, and he found himself drifting off slightly. Claude was about to stray into slumber when he heard movement on the bed.

Instantly, Claude was awake and alert again. He glanced over to see his Teach sitting up in bed. Not wanting her to realize he'd stayed up all night watching her sleep (it sounded pretty creepy, she didn't need to know that) Claude smiled at her gently.

"Mornin', Teach," Claude greeted. Her hair was all over the place, sticking up in random directions, yet, Claude couldn't help but find her endearing. She wore a blue long sleeve with black pajama pants. They had little white deer embroidered on the pants. "How are you feeling?"

"I...don't know..." His Teach mumbled. She glanced at him, an apologetic look on her face. "I...I don't know what came over me yesterday...I promise...I'm not...doing that. It was just a bad day yesterday..."

"I get it," Claude nodded. He was relieved to see a sincere look on her face when she said it, so he knew she wasn't lying. Still, he needed to make sure. "Everyone has bad days, Teach. Some are worse than others. But please...value your life. When you feel like that, remember how much you mean to me. To all of us."

"I will," Byleth said quietly. She shifted her fingers around awkwardly, and she looked nervous about something. "This..is...going to sound weird...B-but...Could you...um...could you... hold me again?"

"Of course, Teach."

———

Surprisingly, Edelgard didn't seek Byleth out. Claude became her main support system on dealing with Jeralt's death. Claude remained with her for the entirety of the month; fetching her meals, allowing her to cry, and generally supporting her. Byleth had never been so grateful to have Claude at her side.

One day, when they were both huddled on the bed together, Byleth sighed heavily and looked up towards him.

"...Thank you...for being here," Byleth said quietly, looking down at her feet. She no longer had any tears left to shed, all she felt was that same hollowness that had followed her around constantly before she'd come to the monastery.

"It's no problem, Teach," Claude told her reassuringly. "Friends take care of each other. Besides, I think I owe it to you after all that Sword of the Creator business."

"I forgot about that," Byleth replied truthfully. She was hoping that they'd change the subject when there was a knock on the door. "...I wonder which student it is now."

Every day, different students from all houses would come and send condolences. Even Dimitri and Dedue had shown up. Byleth had always lied and said that she was fine. Standing from her bed, Byleth opened the door to see Edelgard and Hubert. They were the two people who hadn't visited her yet.

"Hello, Professor. I see you've been hiding out here with Claude," Edelgard's lip curled into a sneer as she noticed the boy behind Byleth. "It's quite unbelievable that you're still grieving. It has been a month."

Byleth felt her jaw drop.

The nerve of that girl! Sothis growled. But she does have a point...

"Professor, I lost people in my life," Edelgard continued, ignoring the furious look forming on Byleth's face. "Crying did me no good. It made me weak. We must move past these grievances and live on in their memory. The sooner you move on, the sooner we can find those wretched people who killed him."

"Thank you, Edelgard," Byleth responded, a small smile frozen on her face. "Your advice is most appreciated."

"I do not wish to seem harsh, Professor. I only wished to help you get over his death."

"Thank you," Byleth repeated, the forced smile still playing on her lips. "I wish to be alone right now. Goodbye, Edelgard."

"Professor-"

Byleth couldn't stop herself from slamming the door. She turned around, huffing, and Claude would have laughed if he knew she wasn't hurting.

She does have a point, Sothis repeated reluctantly. But she was so rude about it! Crying is a natural way to relieve one's self.

"Teach...you can take as much time as you need," Claude said quietly as she sat down next to him. "I won't think you're weak, no matter what."

"...Perhaps I should start moving on," Byleth responded instead. The thought wouldn't leave her mind now. She had finally drained herself of tears, so maybe... "I can't accomplish anything like this..."

"Only if you're ready, Teach."

"...I have to go eventually," Byleth sucked in a ragged breath through her teeth. "Tomorrow, I'll go. But...but for now...could you stay with me? Just one more day?"

He smiled gently, placing an arm around her shoulders.

"Yes. Of course."

when the reads on the last chapter weren't great but i wrote a chapter anyways

jk y'all, i already have so much written that i'm posting no matter what

love y'all thanks for reading !