Raulson and Character One-shots

Hotgomery

Prompt: Billie Dean is desperately trying to give Nora the love and affection she deserves, but Nora keeps refusing. Billie is hurt and an argument ensues. 

POV: Billie Dean 

I was laying in bed with Nora Montgomery, both of us watching TV and the covers pulled up around me. Yet, I was still cold. I know I only wanted, needed, Nora in my arms. Even though she was dead, it warmed me to hold her and caress her, to see the sweet smile on her face from it. Those moments were farther apart than I would like. As much as I love Nora and think that she's perfect the way she is, I do sometimes wish she was more affectionate and more willing to accept affection. 

When we first started dating, it was rough adjusting to that from her. I had always been greeted with warmth and overly affectionate people, this behavior is new. But I am slowly getting used to it, though she doesn't know how much it bothers me. How much it hurts. But I also can't blame her, it's her defense. She has to live for eternity, she has to guard her heart from pain, she has already suffered enough for one lifetime. 

I decided I would test my waters by snuggling a little closer to her and laying my head on Nora's shoulder. As expected, she rolled her shoulder a bit, my cue to get off. I felt a little pang in my heart. Just because it was expected didn't mean it hurt any less when she didn't accept. I moved my hand down to where hers was on top of the covers and gently put mine on top. She immediately snatched her hand away. 

"I don't want to be touched right now." She snapped, not even looking at me. 

"Shocker." I replied, obvious irritation in her voice. 

"You don't have to make a fuss about it." 

"You could open up every once in a while." 

At that, she looked at me. I crossed my arms, eyes fixed on the show that neither of us were watching. 

"You're acting childish." She finally said, looking back at the TV. 

"Well I'm sorry that I'm cold and want to snuggle with my girlfriend." 

"Well I'm sorry that I want space." 

"Fine." I said, getting out of bed and going to the closet. 

"Where are you going?" Nora asked. 

"Nowhere." I said, pulling some extra blankets and a pillow out of the closet. 

I set the blankets out on the floor in a little makeshift bed, then l laid down. I was facing the wall so I couldn't see Nora, hurt and anger simmering in my heart. 

I heard Nora snort. "My God. You're kidding me." 

I stayed silent. 

"You are acting like a 5 year old Billie Dean Howard. And for what, because I won't cuddle with you? Because you aren't getting your way?" She snapped. 

Those words hurt, and sent my anger boiling. I rolled over and stood up, looking Nora in the eyes. 

"I'm acting like this because it hurts Nora. You don't understand." I answered, keeping my voice low. 

Nora also got out of bed and walked closer to me. I finally convinced her that laying in bed in sweats was much more comfortable than her elaborate dresses, and the sweats were what she was wearing now, though her hair was permanently done up in the bun style. 

Part of me is scared of Nora. Not that I think she would ever physically hurt me, but because just her look is so fierce, especially her piercing blue eyes. All the tears those eyes have cried, all of humanity's monsters, all the pain she has endured can be glimpsed at through her eyes. She had always held her own and stated how she wanted to remain independent no matter what. 

"I never want to have to rely on someone else to give me something that I can provide myself." She had said. 

However, another part of me is tired of this treatment. Nora isn't the only person who has suffered, who has had a reason to keep her guard up. I've endured my own share of trials, and yet I was different. It was time for me to express my feelings whether she liked it or not. 

"I don't understand? I think I do. I think you're overreacting." She said, pointing her finger at me. 

"I feel like I don't even have a girlfriend!" I finally yelled, "I feel like you don't even care! You don't want to hold my hand, you don't want to hold me or be held, you don't want to kiss me, you don't want anything to do with me other than coming over and talking to each other! It hurts okay!" 

"I'm sorry that you're so insecure about yourself and our relationship that you need that much validation then but I don't know what you expect from me!" 

I blinked, wanting to make sure I had heard her right. 

Nora took a couple of deep breaths, then looked at me. "Billie-" She started and took a step towards me, but I shook my head and stepped back. 

My head was throbbing. My heart was pounding and I felt like I had massive weights in my stomach and on my legs and shoulders, weighing me down. Tears welled up in my eyes but I refused to let them fall. 

"Please, let me explain." She tried, her eyes looking at my ear, she was never good at making eye contact. 

"You don't have to explain anything." I growled.

"Then what? You can't leave. Constance took your car for a vacation and the keys to your house are on that ring. You can't go anywhere in the house that I can't go." 

I sucked some air in through my nostrils, knowing she was right. Instead of answering, I laid back down on my "bed" and rolled away. 

I heard Nora snort and walk away, and it broke my heart even more. This was it, she was done with me. She was probably going to break up with me. 

But then, I heard movement beside me. I rolled over and saw her sitting next to me, leaned against the wall, another blanket on me. 

"I know you're cold so I brought another blanket." She said quietly, but not harshly. 

"Thanks." 

It was quiet for a few minutes, then I felt her cool hand on mine. I wanted to give in, to give up, to cry it all out on her lap so she could fully see how upset I was but so that she could also see to make it better. Though I also wanted to snatch my hand away and ignore her request because I knew she was just doing it to make me feel better, she didn't actually want it. 

The petty side won and I snatched my hand away. 

"Honey-"

"Don't." 

Nora sighed then gently put her hand on my shoulder. Before I could protest, she said, "I'm sorry okay? What I said was rude and uncalled for." Her thumb lazily started to rub and I bit my lip. 

"I never received physical affection. It's hard to give something that you don't always know how to give. But, it isn't fair to you. I'm sorry." 

I took a deep breath and finally sat up and Nora smiled at me. "Thank you for your apology. I accept it. I'm sorry for yelling at you. I guess it really just seemed like you were uninterested in me." I said, shrugging. 

"Well I am very interested in you and I want to continue our relationship. I know I have things to work on, obviously. And I know you'll help me with them along the way. We can always help each other." 

"Yes, I agree. And I can also work on giving you the space you need and deserve." 

Nora nodded, then let her hand fall back on top of mine. Now that I had calmed down, I welcomed her embrace in hopes of encouraging her. It may take a while, but we were both willing to work together to give our relationship the best opportunity to grow, hopefully with less fighting.