The force in redemption | Kylo Ren x reader | ✔

Chapter 34, Missing clue

/ First Person Protagonist POV / 

The space shuttle had landed on D'Qar little time after my short talk with Poe, and I could feel the heat of its sun: Ileenium,  on my face. There was a small crowd of people, and I remembered how much more there had been when I had first arrived at D'Qar months ago. Could it be the First Order killed off the rest when they took me back? I wondered to myself with culpability. Poe had walked out weakly with his arms around Finn and Cyern, who were almost dragging him. I knew I should've left the moment I stepped onto the soil of D'Qar, but it was so relieving and peaceful to be somewhere that is not a star destroyer.

I wondered around the Resistance base with no direction in specific, but my feet had led me to the larger building: the command room. I didn't want to step inside, I felt I had no business to do there, but I was betrayed by my body as I entered into the cooler air that remained inside the structure. 

" Y/n!" Someone had said from behind me. I had been so unfocused I hadn't felt their presence around me. Captain Phasma would be so disappointed after all the training she's put me through. I thought to myself. 

I turned around, and Rey was standing a couple feet away from me with General Leia at her side. I remembered Rey trained with the General, and it reminded me how Rey had been the one to teach me so much, and not like Kylo or Captain Phasma did. She walked towards me and pulled me into a light hug, she seemed so happy and relieved to see me. " You're finally back." She whispered. " Is Poe... alright?" Rey asked me as she released me from her hug. I nodded and she ran out of the room a split second later. 

I remained quiet and still in front of General Leia for many minutes. She didn't seam to have to ask anything, Leia appeared to know what was going on inside my mind, but I knew I had blocked my thoughts very strongly. " Y/n." Was all she said as she stepped closer to me and placed both her hands on my shoulders, like she usually did. " There are many things to be talked about, dear girl. And time is always running out." She stated firmly. Leia always was. She never seemed to loose her strength. " Could you follow me, please?" She asked as she walked out, but it wasn't really a question, I didn't have much of an option.

I catched up with her as she walked around the tropical setting of D'Qar, looking around her. " What is bothering you, y/n? I can feel an internal battle within you." General Leia said as we walked past many X wing starfighters. What is bothering me?! Everything. I'm torn apart by two sides, and no matter what I do, I always fall into the worse situations possible. And finally, to add the cherry to the cake: The Supreme Leader of the First Order has condemned me to become one of his elite bodyguards for the rest of my poor, miserable existence. I answered angrily in my mind. " Nothing, General." I answered instead. The less they knew, the better and safer it was for the Resistance. 

Leia turned to look at me with her eyebrows slightly furrowed, she knew I was lying to her, but she didn't insist on me telling her what was really going on inside my head, because I didn't even know either. She had walked some more until we had arrived in front of an arsenal. The arsenal I had tried running towards when the Resistance Base was under attack just a few months ago, but I knew it had been almost half a year. Time has flown, and so many things have happened, so fast... too fast. I told myself as we approached the entrance of the arsenal.

" Y/n, I hate to remind you about it..." General Leia started saying as the doors swooshed open. " But do you remember, before you were captured by the First Order, the lightsaber you had left here?" I hadn't payed much attention to what she had said after 'captured'. There it was, yet again, the assumption I was a prisoner to the First Order. I was only a prisoner to my bad luck, and to the Supreme Leader's order for me to become a Praetorian Guard. But the First Order had felt like a type of cold and vile home. The only thing that had made me stay was Kylo, and he was enough for me to know what side I was in.

" Y/n?" Leia asked once more, as I remembered I had ignored her question.

I nodded swiftly, not really wanting to talk. " Poe had revised the arsenal after the attack and, your lightsaber was gone, we looked everywhere for it." The general said, almost ending in a whisper. I turned my head quickly towards her, and I rushed down the shelves of the arsenal: searching for where I had left the lightsaber the last time I had seen it. 

When I had rushed towards the exact shelf, it wasn't there. Instead, in its place was dust and emptiness. Leia had followed me, walking. " I do not ha-" She had begun saying empathically, when I had suddenly interrupted her, " General. Is Poe in the hospital wing?" I asked as I stood up but kept my eyes on the empty shelves. " Y/n, Poe needs to rest, he- " " I asked if he was in the hospital wing." I repeated coldly, a little like Hux would have done, disrupting her again.

General Leia looked at me calmly but remained silent. I walked swiftly past her and out of the arsenal, jogging towards the hospital wing, were Poe would most likely be resting at. When I got there, I could spot him at the far back, and I hurried towards his infirmary bed. He looked so pained and tired, but I had to get answers.

" Poe." I said as he slowly opened his eyes. " Tell me about my lightsaber."

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Hello!!!!!

Well, this chapter certainly differs from all the sentimental ones before! 

I feel like I have not put a lot of Resistance appearances or/and chapters so far, so I'm planning on doing that. Tell me what you think!

I also wanted to mention my chapters are being published a little slower now ( maybe one or two a day ) compared to what I was publishing last week! The reason for this is because my winter break has ended, ( unfortunately ) and I have things to do during the day. But I always try to write in my free time, and also late at night. ( Then I wonder why I'm so tired, lmao ). 

Anyhow: Thank you, yet again for making it this far into the story!!!!!!! You make my day so much better! 

I wish you an amazing day/night filled with happiness and joy!

- Camille