The force in redemption | Kylo Ren x reader | ✔

Chapter 110, Hope

/ First Person Protagonist POV / 

A continuous stream of small, salty tears dripped down to my chin, blurring my eye sight, but I could still catch a glimpse at Kylo, who stood so close to me. I tried to smile because truth was, I was happy. My heart fluttered at the words he had finally said back, after all these times. 

But my heart ached as well, to know that even if Kylo had confessed he loved me too, I was leaving him. No, y/n. You're not leaving him. You're leaving the First Order, the dark side, but not Kylo. I sighed. 

" It's not fair." I sobbed. " It wasn't fair before, but now-" I didn't even finish, I couldn't. I just buried my head into his chest, wrapping my arms around his torso, as Kylo tightened the grip on the small of my back and my waist.  

" I'm sorry." He pleaded into my ear, resting his chin on my shoulder. 

I shook my head and lifted it up so I could see his complex dark orbs, which were a reflection of general Leia's warm and caring eyes. " Be- Kylo," I corrected myself, " come with me. Take my hand." I outstretched my palm to him, like he had done to me when I had become his apprentice and a Knight of Ren. 

Kylo looked at my hand in an awe of disbelief, and then his eyes flickered back to mine. " I took your hand. Take mine?" I wailed slightly, hopelessly waiting to feel his gloved hand wrap around mine, but I knew he wouldn't. " You chose your place, y/n. I chose mine." He said, a little coldly, but I understood, and my arm fell to my side. 

I took a deep breath to make the incoming tears go away, and walked towards Kylo, placing a delicate peck on his soft lips, which he returned, saddened. Our faces were inches apart, him being taller than me, I could feel his warm breath on my forehead, and I leaned my head on his chest to hear his heart beat one last time. 

We both backed away, knowing that neither of us would go with the other. Kylo placed his hands on the small of his back, standing straight as if he was fare welling an important war soldier. I turned around, towards the yellow Naboo star fighter, and climbed on top of the wing before making my way to the cockpit, which I had found how to open. 

Sitting down, I placed the helmet, which was on the seat, on my head, and flickered some switches and buttons, firing up the engine of the ship. I looked at Kylo, and he walked towards the ship, placing a hand on the yellow surface. 

" Will I ever see you again?" He asked, in almost a desperate tone, which he was doing an amazing job at hiding, but the emotion in his dark eyes gave him away. 

I smiled, not a happy smile, but a hopeful one. " I don't know." I almost whispered, but loud enough so Kylo could hear over the engine of the star fighter. " All I can tell you is that life somehow finds a way to bring us together." We both slightly laughed, remembering the mass hunt, and how coincidentally, the Crimson Hunter had been selected to participate in it.

As I was about to close the cockpit's window, Kylo stopped me, stepping on the wing of the star fighter. I looked back to look at him, and he slightly smiled. " Y/n, may the force be with you." He said, tucking a loose strand of his jet black hair out of the way of his face.

I nodded and he climbed off, backing away a couple steps away from the ship, as I maneuvered it towards the opening of the hangar, setting view at the beautiful vegetation of lake country. The cockpit slowly closed on top of me as a sphere as the ship gained speed on land. 

" How do I even fly one of these things?!" I shrieked, forgetting this had all been an improvised plan to escape Kylo, but then he had willingly let me go. " I could've taken a TIE fighter." I scoffed, taking the commands of the ship, whose front wheel was already off ground.