The force in redemption | Kylo Ren x reader | ✔

Chapter 90, No choice

/ First Person Protagonist POV / 

My jaw could've dropped to the floor at that instant. I felt exactly the same type of torment I was sure Kylo had when he had learned the news as well. T- they think I'm the mole in the Final Order?! I repeated mentally over and over again, still not being able to believe it. Now I understood why Kylo had decided not to tell me: he didn't want me to get worried about it, as if he had the situation under control, but I knew it was very unlikely. 

" W- what?!" Was all I could mutter out, even if I had heard exactly what Kylo had told me word by word, and I had already processed the first wave of shock it had brought me.

Kylo looked as hopeless as anyone could possibly be, sorrow filling his eyes as he slowly stood up once again with pained moves, as if he had injured himself badly and was trying to help himself up without the assistance of a medical droid. " I know you head what I said, y/n. Please, don't make me repeat it." He mumbled quite firmly as he paced towards me, placing his gloved hand on my shoulder.

I didn't turn to look at him, instead, my gaze remained towards the wall, right where Kylo had been sitting a couple minutes earlier. I laid my palm on top of his hand that rested on my shoulder and rubbed the top of his hand with my thumb, trying to calm his accelerated and stressed breathing I could feel from his wrist. 

" But how?" I asked, this time deciding to face him with confusion and disbelief illustrated in my irises. " It can't have been me, Kylo. I wasn't even in any type of contact with the Order for more than a month!" I exclaimed a little loudly. 

" I know that too." Kylo replied coldly, as if he had taken control over his emotions once again and had returned to being the emotionless new Supreme Leader of the Final Order he appeared to be in front of everyone except me... sometimes. So, I was a little bit surprised to see him act so strictly after just witnessing him at the brink of emotionally breaking down and curling into a little ball, wanting to cry and disappear from the galaxy. 

" Of course you doo." I muttered to myself low enough so only I could hear what I had said legibly, a little bit annoyed of the way he had started talking to me.

Kylo turned his head to look at me with one of his eyebrows raised, as if he knew I had said something but didn't know what, which was probably the case, but I decided to pretend I hadn't caught him silently asking me what I had said only based on his expressions. " I assume your generals aren't all idiots, Kylo." I said, sounding a little harshly, which reminded me of how Hux and Kylo would talk to each other, not me and him. " Do you have any idea what has made them believe such fooleries?" 

Kylo cleared his throat and walked behind the chair I was seated at, this time placing both his palms on my shoulders, as if to prevent me from standing up even though they were only lightly resting on top of them, brushing against the crook of my neck on both sides, sending shivers down my spine and raising the hairs on my back as if by instinct. 

" I am not one to speak poorly about the Final Order, but some of the higher rankers aren't... the most intellectual, no." Kylo replied, obviously referring to Hux, even if the ginger haired general was smart, but the hatred for each other blinded them. 

I tried thinking of how most of the people that made Kylo's forcefully trusted, emphasis on forcefully, I know he doesn't trust many people, or anyone at all, I told myself ironically. I reflected on how the idea of me being the traitor amongst the Final Order might have gotten to their head; how I would be the information leaker even if I wasn't even present on The Finalizer for almost five months consecutively. 

Whoever the mole is must've planned everything out perfectly, unless me being 'captured' was the perfect timing for them to frame me into being the culprit of treason to the Final Order. I rolled my eyes mentally at the comment. I am the ideal person to blame for something like this, with many people actually believing him or her. 

Even if I knew that by heart and mind I wasn't a supporter of the Final Order, whatever concerned Kylo was important to me, and right now: this mole was also getting on my nerves as much as it was for the Final Order. " This is ridiculous. We've got to find who the informer is." I muttered as I brushed Kylo's hands off of my shoulders and also stood up, walking to the opposite side of the interrogation room and facing my back to him.

" We?" He repeated, as I turned my head to look at him, astonished.

" Yes. I mean... I suppose." I babbled out. I was not expecting him to not want me to help. I mean, I kind of was, but still. I told myself. " Y/n, I can't let you take part of this. You're already being suspected and the generals will most likely keep a sharp eye on you. It would make you look guilty if you ventured further down trying to find who the actual mole is." Kylo told me firmly. I was relieved about his answer: for a split second, I had thought he didn't want me to take part of it because he thought I would be of no use, but he was right: I had to stay as far away from valuable information as possible until the mole was found.

" I know you don't like the idea, y/n. I don't either, if I'm being honest." Kylo mentioned, and I could feel him approaching me from behind. " The least of my wishes is for you to become part of my league of bodyguards." At that moment, I had fully turned around. " More like cult." I whispered, trying to hint some humor in the situation, it was becoming too gloomy for my liking. 

Kylo raised and eyebrow and shook his head slightly, " whatever you want to call it." He said, placing a hand on my shoulder friendly.  " I'm sorry if you're stuck in this situation, and please believe me when I say this is not what I had in mind at all for you, but it is the only solution for the moment." Kylo added, his tone becoming more serious. 

I looked away from his captivating gaze and towards the side, biting the inside of my cheek. He's right... I mumbled mentally. No matter how much I wish he wasn't. " Guess I don't have much of a choice, don't I?" I told him firmly.

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NO WAY. I've reached 90 chapters. U N B E L I E V A B L E

Never thought I'd make it this far in the story... BUT I DID!!!!! ( Yeah, I'm TOTALLY NOT dancing in celebration right now)

I sure hope you enjoyed the chapter! I have such a nice idea for a couple ones to come, and I anticipate it is going to turn out very well!

Not to spoil or bring down my good mood, but we are approaching the final chapters of the story., and I can not wait to share how your story with Kylo ends... OR DOES NOT END. Though I had also thought that when I was in chapter 20, so probably ignore me or something.

Have the most wonderful day or night! And enjoy your weekend to the fullest!

- Camille