Chapter 42, Self condemn

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/ First Person Protagonist POV / 

Supreme Leader Snoke's low, raspy voice didn't even sound human, but I wasn't sure he even was human at all either. A strong shiver ran down my spine as I remained kneeled down, unsure if I should still remain in that position or stand back up. It was so silent I thought I could hear the synchronized breathings of the seven Praetorian Guards, whom I didn't even know were able to breath, because they stood so still and lifeless, only to remind me that, I would be joining them soon in their unified brainwashed life. 

" Step closer, dear girl." Snoke said, but I knew it was an order and not a suggestion. The way he said it: dear girl, made me feel uncomfortable, cause I knew there was nothing 'dear' in the way he had said it. but I stood up and walked as straight as I could towards the little space with lighting in the room, between the Praetorian Guards I would soon be apart of..

I stood still, and tried to look at my shoes, but my little conscience told me not to look weak or inferiorized, so I collected all the bravery I had and stared directly at the Supreme Leader's throne. I could catch a short glimpse at Snoke's deformed and wrinkly face, with a long scar crossing through the middle and his left cheek sunken.

 He was horrendous, on the inside as much as on the outside, and I couldn't imagine having to guard him for the rest of my life. For Kylo. I reminded myself once more, and the strength came back: spending an eternity like a living statue with no mind of my own was better than the possibility of my vision coming true. 

Supreme Leader Snoke had slightly moved his hand to one side, the same way he had done when the First Guard had brutally murdered his companion in cold blood, and my heart beat accelerated. Two hands grabbed my shoulders, and I turned swiftly, ready to take down whomever it was if they caused a threat. It was two stormtroopers, except they didn't look like the usual soldiers in white, these two had red armory. What is up with all the red armors? I tried joking to myself to lighten my stress as the two troopers guided me out of the throne room.

They guided me through the halls of The Supremacy, and it took a while to get to where we had to. The corridors started to get emptier as the troopers led me towards a sort of moderate sized living quarter, with eight small capsule looking dormitories. " The Third Guard chamber is the second to the left." One of the troopers said. I wouldn't call it a chamber, I told myself. It was barely an uncomfortable looking bed with a sliding door. " Get changed and be out in ten minutes." The other stormtrooper in red had commanded as they both walked out, leaving me in the solitude of the odd looking room.

I paced towards the second sleeping capsule on the left and it swooshed open, revealing a neatly folded red robe and many pieces of armory, including the shiny red helmet of the Praetorian Guard. 

I stripped from the black clothes I usually wore when I was at The Finalizer, and another layer of warmth and familiarness had been peeled from me. I hid my brown leather handbag under the small and unconfortable matress and slid the red robe on. It had taken me a little bit more time to put on the torso and arm armor, and I counted every second, making sure I wouldn't take too much time. 

It was surprisingly light and airy, and my movements weren't obstructed by the metal looking pieces of armor. Of course, it would be pointless to have elite bodyguards that can't move correctly. I lamented as I stared at my reflection in the nicely polished helmet. You got this, y/n. You know why you're doing this. I reminded myself as I placed the helmet on my head and tried to confidently walk out of the room.

The two stormtroopers walked at my sides, reminding me of how Finn and Cyern had sneaked into The Finalizer and had taken me in this exact way, and somewhere inside me, I wondered if that could ever happen here. If under the two red armors were resistance members trying to bring me back to D'Qar, but I knew it would be impossible. I had made it loud and clear to all of them: don't come back for me. 

The more corridors we walked, the more they filled with the neatly dressed pilots, the squads of patrolling stormtroopers, and First Order officers, and I knew they were staring discreetly at me and the other two red troopers, but I didn't blame them, I would've done the same: seeing a Praetorian Guard that was actually walking and appeared to have a living person under all the armory, or simply seeing one at all. 

I always had an odd sensation whenever I headed towards Snoke's throne room, and I knew I would be stuck there for a very long time, which filled me with sorrow. The two stormtroopers in red walked slightly behind me as I entered once again the frigid room, and stepped right where Kylo had in my vision.

The First Guard approached me in a walk so unhuman, and I had to contain myself from flitching backwards as he towered over me, whoever was behind the helmet was very tall and imposing. I felt myself kneel, but I wasn't ordering my body to do it, I knew Snoke was using the force to control my moves, and I hated it. 

I remained knelt on one knee once more, and I stared at my red boots through the helmet, awaiting the First Guard's next move. He extended his arms, which held the Bilari Electro- Chain whip while it rested as a metallic looking sword, and I hesitated about what to do next.

" You will draw your weapon, and join yourself to the ranks of the Elite Praetorian Guards." Snoke claimed loudly, as if he had read into my thoughts. 

I didn't think twice as I stood up and took the weapon's handle with both my hands, it was very heavy, but I wouldn't let anything out of order show. I saw how the First Guard marched robotically back to his place, and I tried imitating the same. Everything had happened so fast, and now it was as if it had never happened: the room became silent once more. 

That was it for me. I had followed the condemn Snoke had written out for me, I stood still in The Supremacy's throne room. I was an Elite Praetorian Guard.


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I kind of want to leave the story there and not write for like two weeks just to keep the suspense going, but I know I can't do that. Because you would all kill me, and I also want to know what happens next. 

But hey! You're an Elite Praetorian Guard now! A crimson warrior, yayyyy. How exiting to spend the rest of your life guarding Snoke the raisin. UNLESS....

I won't be cruel with the protagonist, don't worry, but I won't spoil either. So I guess you will have to wait and see for what happens next!

Have a fantastic day/night! Best wishes to all of you!

- Camille



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